This new turn in their relationship really forced her to think about what she wanted for them and their future.
Mallory had oversimplified things the other day when she said it was just about sleeping together.
But it wasn’t.
The truth was, she wanted to go to sleep beside Colton every night after they talked and laughed and shared a meal together. She wanted to wake up in the morning and talk about what they each had planned for the day. It would be a lie for her to say sex wasn’t a factor. It was. But really, it was more of a bonus because even if they never had sex again, she enjoyed the companionship they shared. He made her feel good about herself and Susannah hoped she did the same for him. And even though they could keep things as they currently were, she wanted to live with him and if that meant taking the big, scary leap and getting married again, she’d do it.
Was she scared? Yes. Was she suddenly over all her insecurities? No. But at the end of the day, she knew Colton accepted her for who she was – the good and the bad, the insecure and the confident. Why hadn’t she realized that sooner?
Feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she decided that she’d broach the subject with him tonight. Although…how was she supposed to come out and ask him to propose again? Was that even allowed? Proper?
With a groan, she considered calling Mallory and getting her input but the sound of footsteps coming through the front door stopped her. She glanced at the clock and wondered if it was Colton arriving already. Was she ready for him? For this? For all that she wanted to say?
She held her breath as she waited for him and when he turned the corner and strode into the kitchen, she couldn’t help but feel giddy.
This was it.
She was ready.
He smiled as he stepped in close and pulled her into his embrace, kissing her softly, thoroughly.
When Colton lifted his head, his eyes scanned her face. “All day,” he said gruffly. “I looked forward to this all damn day.”
She melted against him, her arms wrapping around his waist. “Me too.”
Resting his head on hers, she could almost feel him smile. “Really?”
She nodded. “As a matter of fact, I was just thinking about you and how I couldn’t wait to see you.” Taking a steadying breath, she led him across the kitchen and asked him to sit down. “Can I get you something to drink? A snack?”
He chuckled softly. “I’m good. Although I wouldn’t mind a shower. I thought I’d go home first and do that, but I just couldn’t wait to see you.”
That single comment boosted her confidence.
She sat down beside him and reached for one of his hands. “So…I wanted to talk to you.” His expression fell slightly and she was quick to reassure him. “It’s nothing bad, I swear! At least…I don’t think it’s bad.”
“O-kay…”
For a minute, Susannah tried to work out what she wanted to say and the right way to say it.
“Susannah?”
She let out another long breath and stared at their joined hands. “Okay, here it is…I thought I was doing the right thing when you…you know. I was a little shocked and surprised by your proposal and I let fear make my decision for me.”
Looking up at him, she saw his expression was fierce but he didn’t say a word.
“I’ve done nothing but regret it,” she went on. “Every minute of every day. I’ve thought long and hard about everything – about what I want out of life, about us…”
“And?” he interrupted, his voice barely a whisper.
Shifting in her seat, Susannah took a moment to collect her thoughts. “You have to understand. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“You said that already.”
“I know, I know. This is much harder than I thought it would be.” When he went to interrupt, she stopped him. “You deserve to have someone without so much baggage. Someone who will be a good wife for you. Someone who’s good enough.”
His grip tightened on her hand and he tugged to get her attention. “You listen to me, Susannah Westbrook. I am done listening to you talk about yourself like that! Don’t you get it? Don’t you understand by now? There is nothing wrong with you! Any man would be lucky to have you!”
“But…”
“No!” he snapped. “So what if you weren’t enough for him – for Mark? You’re more than enough for me!”
Tears stung her eyes. “Colton…”
He shook his head again. “No, everything you’re saying – all of your fears – that was a long time ago. That was before. You can’t let the words of a man who walked away from the amazing family he had rule your thoughts, Susannah. He doesn’t even deserve consideration in anything you do or say because he was wrong. So very wrong. You are everything that is good and sweet and pure in this world!” Reaching up, he cupped her face. “I am honored that you think so highly of me – that you think I deserve so much. But all I want – all I need – is you. Don’t you get that?”
She nodded as the first tears began to fall. “I do. I really do,” her voice cracked as she spoke. “And maybe I’m too late…and it’s okay if I am…I just…” She looked up at him. “I want to be with you. Forever. Whether it’s as your wife or your girlfriend…I don’t care. But I want us to live together and…and…”
She never got to finish. Colton hauled her into his lap and claimed her lips with his and kissed her until they were both breathless. When he lifted his head, he smiled at her. He shifted them around until Susannah was seated in the chair while he stood.
And then he got down on one knee.
“Oh my goodness! What is happening?”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet and then…the ring.
Her ring.
Holding it up to her, he said, “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get a second chance at this with you, but I was hopeful.” With a lopsided grin, he placed the ring on her finger. “I love you and nothing would make me happier than you agreeing to be my wife. My forever.”
“There is nothing I want more in this world!” she said, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around him. “If I could, I’d marry you right now. Tonight!”
He held her tight. “I’d love nothing more than to make that happen. But first, I’m going to kiss you again.”
And he did.
And he kept on kissing her until Susannah was ready to drop to the floor with him. Instead, she pulled back and smiled. “How about we go inside and celebrate?” Standing, she held out her hand to him until he was on his feet in front of her.
“That sounds perfect.”
They hadn’t gone more than a few feet when there was a knock at the back door. Turning, they found Jake and Mallory walking in – both of them grinning from ear to ear.
“Mal?” Susannah asked. “Everything okay?”
“New Year’s Eve!” she said excitedly. “We’re going to get married on New Year’s Eve!”
8
“I don’t want to say your daughter stole our thunder, but…”