“No, you fucking did this and now you’re taking it out on me!”
“Shut up, Evie!” She doesn’t stop though, she keeps pushing.
“Deal with it, Drake. You are going to be a dad,” her voice a little softer this time. That’s it. I lose it. Grabbing her shoulders, I slam her against the brick clubhouse as I roar. Her eyes stay on mine even when I lower my jeans and rip hers off her. I lift her in my arms and fuck her as roughly as I can. Each thrust is one of hatred. Not for her though. No, for my dad. For what he did to me.
“I can’t do it.”
“You don’t have a choice,” she whispers as I fuck her harder.
“We do have a choice, get rid of it!” My cock swells inside of her but she doesn’t come. I do. Rough and hard, I fill her, but she doesn’t come and shits me even more. I pull out of her and fix my clothes as she does the same with hers. It’s not until we’re both dressed that I risk the chance of looking up at her.
“If I got rid of it, I’d be no better than they are, Drake. I’m keeping it.”
Anger vibrates through my body. I probably shouldn’t be riding like this but I don’t care. If we all die, we all die. I grab my helmet and thrust hers into her hands before climbing on the bike. Evie climbs on but she doesn’t wrap her arms around me like she always has. I take a few deep breathes trying to control my feelings right now. I don’t know what to do. I want to snap her goddamn neck but she was right. I did this. I didn’t use protection because frankly I was too lost in that girl to give a shit what happened to her. Now as I rev up the bike and pull out onto the road, I regret what I did. I should have been smarter. I should have fucking been smarter.
Chapter 21
The beer dangles between my fingers as I sit in the bathtub, my head lowered. This is a complete fucking mess. I never once thought I would be in this position. A dad? I can’t fucking do it. My hands are tarnished. They are black and ruined just like me. How can I bring a child into this world filled with hate and remorse? How can I live knowing that I brought a child into this mess of a world? I bring the beer to my lips and take another long pull. My head’s been a mess the last few days that we’ve been back here. The bathroom door opens and Evie walks in naked. My eyes travel over her body taking her in. From the scars to the curve of her hips…fuck, she is ruining me.
“What do you want?”
“You,” she whispers. She climbs in the tub and sits at the opposite end staring at me.
“This will never work, Evie.”
“I know that.”
“Then what are you still doin’ here?”
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and looking at me. There’s sadness there now that replaced the fire. I hate it that I’m the reason for that too.
“I’ve been thinking about this. All of this. I want you, Drake. I don’t care if I can have the rest of it. If getting rid of this baby means I can keep you then I’ll do it.”
“What the fuck?” I hiss. She can’t be serious right now. No one has wanted me. Ever.
“I know that I told you I wanted the family, the house, all of that, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I want you.”
I shift and get to my feet, squatting in front of her.
“Are you insane? Are you even listenin’ to yourself right now? I’m a monster, Evie. This, me, I will never change. I don’t think I can.”
“I don’t care, I want you just the way you are, Drake! You are the only person who has ever given me everything. Every part of you, you gave to me and I want to keep it! I’m not backing down,” she says with her teeth gritted.
“You have no idea what you’re askin’ for.”
“I know exactly what I’m asking for. You. All I want is you.”
Cocking my head to the side, I study her gorgeous face. So goddamn beautiful and bold. Perfect and dark. She’s everything I could have ever asked for in a woman.
“I often asked myself if you were as fucked in the head as I am,” I say reaching up and running my fingers down her cheek. Evie leans into my touch. “I would watch the fire in your eyes, the blaze consumin’ me. I would watch you sleep and wonder what the hell was goin’ on in that head of yours to stay here.” Shaking my head, I start to pull away when she grabs me, pulling me into her.
“I. Want. You.”
I crash my lips into hers and take what she has to offer. My tongue snakes into her mouth before she bites down. I groan as I taste the blood mixing in our mouths. The sound of my phone ringing pulls me away from her. She’s panting and her cheeks are flushed, but I have to answer the call. Pulling it from my jeans, I answer.
“What?”
“Chastain is on the move. His convoy is vulnerable.” I smirk when the words leave Demon’s mouth.
“Where’s our golden boy headed?” I ask as I stand from the tub and climb out. Evie climbs out behind me as I head into the bedroom.
“He’s headed to his vacation house. What the fuck do you know?” He chuckles into the line.
I step into my closet and pull out the hidden compartment in the wall. My guns are my babies.
“Gettin’ my shit together. Meet you out there?”
“Goddamn right you will.” The line goes dead as I pull the guns from the hidden compartment and load them into a duffel bag. When I spin around, Evie is standing there still naked.
“What are you doin’?”
“Waiting.”
“For what?”
“Answers.”
I shake my head and brush past her setting the bag on the bed. I grab my cigarettes and keys when she grabs my arm. I turn to face her quickly.
“Don’t. Just don’t fuckin’ do that to me, Evie. What do you want? You want me to say go kill that baby? You were right! It would make you no better than they are. Is that what you want?”
“So, you want me to keep it?” she asks confused.
“Raise it, Evie.”
“Without you?” Her words come out hurt and I can’t blame her.
“Yeah, without me. Look at me! Why would you want your kid around someone like me? Huh? Why?” She doesn’t back down, which is why I’m so fucking drawn to her. She doesn’t give me space, she invades it.
“Then I don’t want it.”
“Yeah, you do,” I remind her.
“Not if it means I can’t have you! Goddamn it, Drake! Don’t you fucking see that I love you?”