Absently, he brushed his thumb over the delicate softness of her hand, not knowing exactly when he’d reached out and taken hold of it. Or even when he’d removed her glove. But he discovered it was gripped in his other hand, nonetheless.
Refusing to ponder over it too much, he merely focused on the tender cushion of her palm nestled into his, the clasp of her fingers, the feel of being tethered to something—to someone—real.
Without her beside him, he might later convince himself that it was all a strange dream.
“The vicar became quite reluctant to share any more information, even eager for us to leave,” he said. “I think he suspected us of usurpering.”
“Of usurpation,” she corrected quietly. “Is that what we’re doing, Raven? Are we . . . claiming your birthright?”
“No.” That much he knew for certain. “There isn’t anything to claim because neither of us has proof.”
“True. We cannot say definitively that you are Merrick Northcott. At least not yet. However, I’ve already begun to compile a list of places to visit once we return to London, as well as individuals who may have answers.”
He looked down at her and shook his head. “Jane, don’t push this any further, hmm? Not right now.”
“You just found out who your parents were. Surely, you aren’t going to stop there.”
“I might have just found my parents,” he clarified tightly, feeling the egg whisk spinning inside him again, faster and faster. “I might have learned that they didn’t abandon me after all. From what the vicar says, they were good people. So they likely didn’t deserve all the hatred I unleashed on them in my thoughts over the years. And I’m learning all this now, only to lose them all over again. I dunno how you’d manage all this but, for me, it’s a great deal to take in all at once.”
“Oh, Raven, I . . .”
Her words trailed off as her blue eyes started to brim with an ocean of tears, her trembling fingertips covering her mouth.
Bloody hell. This was why he kept his thoughts private.
Pulling her close, he wrapped his arms around her and tucked her cheek against his chest. “Don’t cry, little professor. If you do, then I’ll have to kiss you and we both know where that will lead.” Pressing his lips against the top of her head, he inhaled the soft fragrance of her hair on a deep comforting breath. “In a fit of passion, I’d carry you to that tree line over there for a bit of privacy in order to ravish you thoroughly on a bed of pine needles. You’d get sap in your hair. I’d stain my trousers . . .”
He affected a sigh of inconvenience and gained the quiet laugh he was hoping for. But as he held her, his body began to warm to the idea. He even glanced to the edge of the surrounding forest, where sunlight speared through evergreen boughs and gilded the tips of the stubborn oak and maple leaves that had yet to fall. A bed of pine needles wouldn’t be all that bad . . .
“Then I shall not cry,” she said, surreptitiously swiping a hand against her cheek on a sniff. Then she smiled wanly up at him and pressed her hands against his chest to ease out of his embrace. “Besides, a gentleman would not unleash his feral appetite in public. And we should not stand thusly either. One always has to presume there are unseen eyes watching.”
She took her empty glove from him and proceeded to slip her fingers into it, but Raven confiscated it again, enfolding her delicate hand once more. Then he set off down the hill, along the winding, overgrown lane.
“You cannot do this either,” she chided with a gentle squeeze before she withdrew.
He frowned. “Why not?”
“Pressing hands is something men and women only do when they have an understanding.”
“I understand you well enough,” he said with a shrug and snatched her hand again, tugging her closer to lift it to his lips. And it was clear that she understood him, too.
“No,” she said with a small laugh. “I meant that they have pledged themselves to each other. That they will marry.”
He eyed her dubiously then curled her arm over his sleeve, because he knew she couldn’t argue against propriety.
“Surely, you don’t have an understanding with all the men you dance with, or those who assist you out of a carriage?” He gave her a look of mock gravity. “There are laws against marrying so many men, Jane.”
“Tease if you like, but you will have to adhere to these rules if you wish to go further in society.”
“I don’t care about claiming some clodpole title. What would I do with an earldom?”
“I shudder to think,” she quipped, grinning up at him. Then, her expression sobered. “I don’t believe you’re the scheming sort, but rather a man who wants to claim the family he never had.”
“Little good it does me now . . . if any of this is even true.” He made an absent gesture over his shoulder and they both turned their heads to glance up the hill toward the emptiness where a grand house once stood.
To believe that a child had survived such complete devastation seemed too unrealistic. A mere fable.
“But if it is true, there is a brighter side. Your grandfather is alive. You could meet him, perhaps.”
“I’d like that,” he said, surprising himself with the reflexive and unguarded reply. Uncomfortable, he cleared his throat and added, “Just to have a look at him, that’s all. To a bloke like me, seeing an earl would be like touring the curiosity shop.”
She gave him a knowing sideways glance. “You don’t have to be nervous. Remember what the vicar said—the Earl of Warrister is still holding onto hope. I’m sure he would be glad to meet you as well.”
“Apparently, you forgot about the charlatans. He’s probably grown leery over the years. I know I would have done.”
“Hmm . . . true. And there’s Lord Herrington to consider. He would be your biggest adversary. Not to mention, you would have the entire ton to win over.” She speculated over this in the silent movement of her lips and he knew she was thinking of a plan. “If you are to meet your grandfather, you should be fully prepared with the ways of society before entering a hostile environment.”
“What do you have in mind, then? Going to tutor me, Jane? Teach me your ways?” His voice dipped lower and he winked. “I’ll teach you some of mine, if you like.”
She laughed. “I think I’ve already gained an understanding of your ways.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that it wasn’t all about kissing for him. He liked her. In fact, he’d never been with a woman in this way before, conversing and sharing ideas and such. And it wasn’t half bad.
Yet, in the end, Raven didn’t say it.
“I’m not going to change the man I am,” he said firmly. “I don’t need any lessons on how to behave in society because I don’t live in your world. If I ever decide to meet the earl, it will be on my own terms.”
“Very well,” she said with a resigned sigh. “Then I suppose, the only thing left to find out is where his lordship currently resides. Though, I have a faint recollection of someone mentioning that he kept a town house in St. James’s Square, once upon a time. But it would have been closed up for years now. I could ask Ellie’s aunts, of course. They are the only ones I could trust to keep this quiet and, better yet, they know the names and whereabouts of absolutely every unmarried or widowed gentleman in society.”