I dip my head, biting my tongue, wanting to tell her she’s right, but I know it will come out as a blatant lie.
“Right, Rath . . . no attraction?”
I swallow hard and tilt my bent head toward her.
Her eyes widen and realization crosses over her eyes.
Now she’s the one who swallows hard.
I clear my throat and stand a little taller. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s something.”
Snapping at her, I say, “It’s nothing.” From the shocked look on her face, I immediately regret the harsh tone in my voice. “Charlee—”
“It’s getting late. I should get going.”
She pushes off the wall and walks back into the apartment as I say, “Charlee, I’m sor—”
But the door shuts before I can finish my sentence.
Fucking great.
And this is exactly why I wanted to avoid after hours with Charlee Cox, because now she knows something she shouldn’t . . . and I’m not talking about me peeing in hampers.
She knows I think she’s attractive . . . and that’s the first step down the I’m fucked hole.
“Charlee bolted out of here quick,” Bram says, resting on his couch once we cleaned up and everyone took off but me since Bram wanted to talk to me. “Apparently she doesn’t feel comfortable peeing in other people’s places. That’s what Linus told me as well. Sounded like a bogus excuse to get the hell out of here after having a private conversation with her boss on the balcony. What do you think?”
I don’t answer. I lean back in the armchair and close my eyes.
“What did you say, man?”
“It’s not what I said, it’s what I didn’t deny.”
“Oh . . . shit. What happened?”
“Nothing that won’t make things awkward on Monday.” I shift to the side. “Really not in the mood to talk about it. Just tell me what has you keeping me here late.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? We can hash it out.”
“Stop stalling and talk to me.”
He sighs and says, “Okay, so you know how Julia had to tell you the wedding was on your birthday because I couldn’t stomach it?”
“Yeah,” I say skeptically.
“Well, there’s something she needs to tell you but opted to do tradesies, so now I have the fine opportunity to tell you.”
“You two need help.”
“We’re communicating effectively. I thought it was a winning idea, that was until I learned what I have to tell you.”
“Must be bad if Julia referred to you. Just peel off the Band-Aid and tell me.”
He leans forward and clasps his hands in front of him. “You know how we sent out the wedding invitations the other day?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there’s someone Julia’s inviting that you might not be fond of.”
Someone I might not be fond of? I don’t hold many grudges or—
My eyes pop open and I stare my best friend down, one person coming to mind. “No.”
He winces and nods. “Vanessa is invited.”
“Why the fuck would Julia want to invite my ex-girlfriend?”
“Because they’re friends, dude. She still talks to her. Occasionally they go out to lunch. It would be weird if she didn’t invite her.”
“She broke my heart,” I say, yelling now, the tension from the night piling on top of this shitty information.
“You weren’t the best boyfriend either,” Bram points out. “Come on, man. She might have been the one to break things off, but you were the one who fizzled things out between you two. I love you, but you know that’s true.”
I drag my hand over my face. “It became too much; we had to slow down for a second.”
“And you know she didn’t see it that way. At this point, it doesn’t matter what happened between you two, because all that matters is she’s moved on. She has a fiancé and they’re both invited to the wedding.”
“Where’s the goddamn loyalty?” I ask, shooting off my seat. “I’m the best man and the bride’s brother. Shouldn’t there be some goddamn loyalty toward—” I pause and then turn to face Bram. “Did you say she has a fiancé?”
Bram nods. “She does. She’s happy. She’s moved on.”
“Great. Just what I want to fucking hear. Glad she’s happy. I’m a miserable fuck over here.”
“Because you let yourself be miserable,” Bram says. “I am always Team Rath, you know this, but there needs to come a time in your life where you’re not revolving your love life around one girl who broke your heart. You need to move on.”
“With who? Either women want me for my money, or they want me for my dick. They don’t want me for my soul or my heart. You knew what it was like before you made a move on Julia. Our dating situation is different than the average person. Our names and faces are splashed all over the news and Page Six. We are recognizable and women want us for the wrong reasons. How the hell am I supposed to move on with those kinds of odds?”
“You could. You just choose not to.”
“Fuck off.” I walk toward his door, needing to get out of here. Before I open the door, I turn toward him and say, “I would never do this to you or Julia. If the roles were reversed, I’d never consider inviting one of your exes to the wedding.”
“Rath, they’re friends. What do you want her to say, she’s not invited because her brother isn’t over her?”
“I’m fucking over her.”
“Doesn’t seem like it, not from the way you’re acting right now.”
“I’m acting the way I am right now because I feel betrayed by my best friend and sister.”
“It’s never been a side thing, you know that. Both of you hurt each other. She didn’t have any friends besides Julia. You can’t take that away from her.”
I know he’s right. Julia and Vanessa were very close, especially when we were dating. I shouldn’t be surprised she’s invited to the wedding, but I am and I’m taking out my anger on Bram.
This entire night has been one massive shitshow. From ogling my assistant all night, to being turned on like no other when she said come on my tits, and then not denying my attraction for her . . . I’ve fucked up so many times, I can’t even count them, and I hate myself for it.
This has nothing to do with Vanessa and everything to do with the poor choices I’ve made in my life.
First it was falling for Vanessa and making a move.
Then it was ignoring her, trying to slow down the pace.
Then it was hiring a woman I found attractive . . . again.
Only to tell her hey, I think you’re hot too.
Bad decisions. Bad decisions all around, and I can only imagine I’ll continue to make them because apparently, there’s no way to stop me.
Chapter Fourteen
CHARLEE
“Why couldn’t I go home?” Linus asks as I unlock my apartment door and shove him inside.
“They don’t microphone these apartments, do they?” I ask, sweeping the walls and looking up at the ceiling for any signs of bugging.