Switching on the television, she glanced at the clock. Her food should be arriving any minute now. She'd forgotten to eat lunch so she was starving. She was clicking through the channels trying to find something to watch when her doorbell rang. Tossing the remote aside, she padded on barefoot to the door and opened it, ready to ask Freddie how his girlfriend and cat were doing but her words stuck in her suddenly dry throat.
Freddie wasn't standing there. Ryan was. Holding a giant brown bag of delicious smelling food.
"I think this is yours," he said, holding out the sack. "It was delivered to me by accident."
It took a second for his words to penetrate her brain and for her arms to reach out and accept the food. She was careful that their hands didn't touch.
Damn, he looked good. She'd been right not to let Liza show her a recent picture. As expected, Ryan had only become more handsome since the last time she'd seen him. He was all tall, dark, and gorgeous.
"Freddie delivered this to you?"
It didn't make any sense. She and the delivery guy were on a first name basis. She knew the name of his cat, for heaven's sake.
Hercules, by the way.
But Ryan's sudden appearance had her all in a tizzy, so it wasn't far-fetched that Freddie could have been confused as well.
"It was a young lady," Ryan replied. "So I don't think it was Freddie unless that's short for something else."
"Freddie's a male," Mariah mumbled, staring down at the bag. Her name was clearly written on the slip but the apartment number was smeared. That explained the misguided delivery. "She must be new. I hope Freddie is okay and not sick or anything."
"Is Freddie a friend of yours?"
"Kind of."
How did one go about explaining the significance of regular food delivery? Especially to an ex-boyfriend.
Ryan's gaze darted over Mariah's shoulder and into the empty apartment. "Are you having a party?"
"A party?"
Wow, I'm so eloquent tonight. I sound like a genius.
She simply hadn't expected to see him this quickly. She'd needed more time to...prepare. Build up some defenses.
"The bag was pretty heavy."
"Oh. That. Well...I order food for a few days so I don't have to worry about it."
"You used to do that when we were in college. You'd order extra pizza so we could have some the next day."
She had done that although she hadn't given it a thought in years. And he'd remembered it.
"It's a bad habit. I could just order again tomorrow." She looked back down at the bag and then up at him. "Have you eaten yet?"
Now why did I say that? Am I stupid? Yes. Yes, I am. I'm an idiot.
"No." He glanced back at his open door. "I was going to cook something."
"You can cook?"
The words tumbled out before she could stop them. She didn't mean to sound shocked but...she was shocked. Ryan hadn't known how to boil water when they were together, but then he'd never had to cook for himself.
Laughing, he nodded. "I've learned to cook. People can change, you know."
They could but Ryan had always been so stubborn about changing anything about himself. He took great pride in acting like a jackass. It was a Beck family trait.
"If you say so."
He sniffed appreciatively at the air which was filled with the most delicious aroma of tomatoes and garlic.
"I really should cook my own dinner tonight. Liza brought over a ton of groceries for me."
"She told me she’d done that."
"You talked to her today?"
"Yes. She said you were going to see the Harringtons."
"I did visit them."
They seemed to have run out of conversation. Funny, how when they were together they could talk for hours and hours. They’d never seemed to get bored of one another. Now? They were staring at each other awkwardly in her doorway.
Ryan glanced quickly over his shoulder. "I guess I should let you eat your dinner. I need to figure something out for my own too."
Shit.
Mariah had been brought up to be polite even when she didn't want to be. It wasn't that she didn't want to be nice to Ryan - she did - it just wasn't easy to be around him. But that was her problem, not his.
In fact, inviting him in to share her dinner would probably be a good thing. She'd get used to seeing him again, being around him and then it wouldn't be such a big deal. Clearly, avoiding each other hadn't worked. This just might be a good plan. She'd see that he was still an asshole and that would help ease the ache that seemed to have taken up residence in her chest the moment she'd opened the door.
Dammit, I'm thinking about the past far too much.
"Why don't you just join me for dinner? I have plenty of food."
"I couldn't do that."
His denial was swift and sure although his body might not be in complete agreement. He'd leaned in a little bit and sniffed the air again.
"Sure you can. It's just food."
"I shouldn't."
This was the Ryan she knew well. Full of contradictions.
"You say no but did you realize that you nodded your head? Your stomach has other ideas."
That stomach took the opportunity to let its needs be known by making a hungry, gurgling sound that they both could hear. Ryan's hand went directly to his belly as if to cover up the noise but it was too late.
"Just get in here," Mariah said in a brisk, no nonsense tone. What she needed right now was a huge dose of practicality. That was usually Ryan's job, and she'd been the dreaming artist. Maybe they both had changed. "Sitting in the same room eating food won't kill us. We did it for your sister's wedding."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
Yet, he hadn't taken a step back. He'd actually taken a step forward. He was officially out of her doorway and into her apartment.
"We can go back to avoiding each other in about an hour. In the meantime, I'll unpack the food and you can play hard to get."
Although he probably wasn't playing. She, on the other hand...
Nope, she wasn't going all gooey-eyed at her ex. She'd learned hard lessons since their breakup. Lesson number one? Men don't change unless they want to. And they rarely want to.
"I'm not avoiding you."
"Bull hockey," she shot back, sliding the bag onto the kitchen counter. "As my beloved father would say. We were both trying to avoid each other at the reception. We did a decent job of it too, but I wouldn't say that it's helped much. It's still weird and awkward."
Times ten.
Ryan's brows shot up. "I am not awkward. Or weird."
"I said the situation is awkward and weird, not that you were. Now, go close your door and come and eat. I'm not taking no for an answer. Avoiding each other got us nowhere so now we're going to try something different."
"How different?"
"Maybe we can be friends."
It sounded ludicrous even to her own ears. Or did it? She and Ryan had always been friends even before they were a couple. She'd certainly missed him these last years. He'd never been boring that was for sure.
"You want to be friends with me?"