I was exhausted, emotionally, physically. It had been the longest day in history, and it was barely 7 p.m. I yawned and stood up to make some coffee, but when I opened the cupboard I noted that she’d even taken my coffee.
Gripping the kitchen work surface, I leaned over and tried not to cry again. Beast came behind me and wrapped his arms around my body.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep? I’ll call and get a prospect to bring us some food for when you wake up,” he said, his lips against my neck. My body sparked at his touch, his breath brushing over my sensitive skin, and I could have quite easily stripped naked for him and let him take my body to forget about all the awful in the world right then. I’d been through so much today already, and tomorrow didn’t seem like it was going to be any better. Why not enjoy Beast while I still had him? While I was still alive? Because Lord knew everything was against him, me, and us.
But my exhaustion was like a heavy blanket, the toll of the day finally wearing me down, so I nodded and headed to my bedroom to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
~ BEAST ~
The prospect handed over three bags of groceries and I put them by my feet while he headed back to the truck to get the takeout I’d told him to pick up for us. I wasn’t sure what Belle liked to eat and I had never really put much thought into what I ate—it was just food to fill a hole—but it mattered for some reason that I got her something she liked. Healthy groceries and Chinese food for now seemed like a good choice.
It seemed as if only Jenna had ever given a shit about her, and though Belle never complained at all, I had a feeling that it would mean something to her.
“So, they didn’t have the wholegrain bread, so I got whole meal,” he said, handing over the takeout bag and then pulling a scrap of paper from his cut.
“I asked for wholegrain,” I snapped, and he looked up. “Why didn’t you go to a different store?”
“I err…” he stammered.
“Here’s a pop quiz for you, prospect: if a man asks for beer and they only have light, do you get him the light, or do you go somewhere else and buy him what he asked for?” I snarled, glaring down at him.
He cowered under my stare. “I guess, I ummm…”
I gripped him by his cut and dragged him close to my face. “You go somewhere else and get him what he goddamn asked for!” I yelled, and he nodded quickly. I dropped him and he stumbled down the little steps, almost falling on his ass. “Next time you fuck up will be your last.”
I slammed the door on him and turned back to the food, happy in the knowledge that the little shit was probably pissing his pants right then. It was all part of prospecting—taking our bullshit, and doing lame-as-shit menial tasks and not being able to complain about it. We’d all done it at one point or another. If they wanted in the club, they gritted their teeth and got on with it. If it was a passing phase they’d fuck off and join some Jap crap club instead. It was no great loss if they chose the latter option. The Devil’s Highwaymen needed men, not pussies that couldn’t follow orders.
I picked up the bag of takeout and placed it inside the little oven so it would stay warm and then I set about putting the groceries away, growing more pissed off when I realized that he had missed other stuff from my list. I’d had to go through Belle’s trash to work out what food she liked to eat and had been dismayed to learn that I didn’t know what half of it was. Humus…what the fuck even was humus? Belle may have been poor as shit, but she liked to eat good food and I kind of liked that about her. Her trailer was busted up but it was clean and tidy to the point of obsession, her cupboards were pretty bare but what they did hold was exotic—at least to a simple man like me, and her clothes may have been thrift store bought but she had great taste and knew what looked good on her beautiful body.
“What’s all this?” Her soft voice reached me as she came out of the small bedroom yawning. She stretched her arms up high, her small tee lifting up to reveal her bronzed stomach, and my dick twitched in response to seeing just the barest bit of flesh on her.
“Nothing much. I got a prospect to bring you some food since your cunt of a mom took most of yours,” I snapped like I was angry with her when it was her mom whose neck I wanted to break.
She looked up at me with those big doe eyes of hers. I’d offended her, or hurt her, or…surprised her? I wasn’t sure which, so I moved on. “I got you some steaks and some healthy green shit, and I saw from your trash that you liked jelly beans, though why you don’t like the apple ones is beyond me because they’re the fucking best, but whatever.”
Pulling open the oven door, I dragged out the bag of Chinese. “Ordered some takeout too. Wasn’t sure what you’d eat, so I ordered…” I scratched at my beard, uncomfortable under her scrutiny. “…pretty much everything from the menu, apart from those prawn sesame seed things because I don’t like the smell of them, and that’s selfish but I’m a fuckin’ man so I’m allowed to be so don’t start getting all mad and pissy at me.”
She was still staring at me and I was feeling more and more uncomfortable. I’d tried to do something nice for her, but she was looking at me like I had two heads, ten arms, and a robotic dick. I felt stupider by the second and suddenly couldn’t even remember why I’d bothered or why it had seemed like a good idea at the time. I decided right there and then never to do anything like that ever again, and that the next time I saw that fucking prospect I was going to punch him in his face for not telling me that it was a stupid idea.
“Goddamn it, Belle!” I finally yelled when I couldn’t take her silence anymore. “Will you fucking say something?”
She blinked like I’d broken her out of her trance and then she threw herself at my chest, wrapping her arms around me and mumbling something against my body. Jesus Christ, women were weird. No wonder I’d never picked an old lady; I couldn’t deal with this 24/7.
“What the fuck is wrong?” I snapped, still tense and irritated, but mostly confused because it sounded like she was crying and all I’d done was buy noodles and fucking humus! “Belle, damn it,” I grumbled, and pulled her away from my chest to look down at her.
Belle’s cheeks weren’t wet from crying, but they were pink. And her mouth wasn’t frowning up at me like she thought I was an idiot—she was smiling. And her eyes…those Disney character eyes of hers were staring up at me with a look I’d never seen on any woman before, and I’d seen many looks on women’s faces. But this, this was something else. My chest felt too tight. My stomach felt full, like I’d already eaten. My body felt warm, like I’d been wrapped in a thick wool blanket all day and was about to overheat. But my head was the most fucked up of all, because the only thought that was going around in it was her name over and over and over.
Belle reached up, placing her hand on the side of my ugly-as-sin, face and I tried to pull away from it because no woman wanted to touch that shit, but she rose up on her toes and clasped my cheek again, her eyes boring into mine.
“Nothing is wrong, Beast,” she said, and I swallowed thickly at the reverence in her tone. “Everything is right. For once…everything is right.” She was smiling up at me like I was Prince Charming and this was our fairy tale. Like this was the last page of the book and it was time for our happily ever after. And I wanted that too. I wanted it for me and for her. But life was never that good. It could never be trusted that much.