“And what did they find out? That you’re a moron?” the deeper voice asked.
“Nah, motherfucker! They said I was taking too many drugs!” He broke into raucous laughter. “Fuckin’ grandma kicked my ass when she got the results through.”
“Can we get back to the problem at hand?”
“You got beat up by an old lady?” the deeper voice asked, amusement in his tone.
“Hey, you ever been hit with a walkin’ stick? That shit fuckin’ hurts worse than being kicked in the balls!”
I was confused as hell as to what was happening. Why weren’t they just killing me? Why did they want to take me somewhere? Oh my god, were they going to torture me and then kill me? My knees trembled as I opened my eyes, my fear taking flight. I was ready to run back inside and lock the door. I could call the cops and hope they got there in time before they broke in, maybe.
“I’m not asleep,” I said as I stared into the handsome face of Shooter.
He was rugged, his jaw hard and defined, his hair long around his shoulders. Lines appeared around his deep blue eyes as he scowled.
“Make it quick,” I begged on a whisper.
He scowled harder and I realized both the other voices had stopped. Shooter held me captive in his gaze to the point that I couldn’t break away to look somewhere else.
“Did she say make it quick?” the hyper voice from behind said on a laugh. “Ain’t no woman ever said that to me before. It’s normally take it slow, make it last, fuck me good.” He laughed again.
“I’ma kill you if you don’t shut the fuck up, Casa,” the deeper voice sounded out, and I realized that was Gauge.
“I’m just sayin’, maybe Beast didn’t do as good a job on her as he thought. She’s askin’ for it to be quick an all.”
“What’s going on with you?” Shooter asked, his tone faking concern. He reached for me and I began to cry. “Jesus, Belle, what happened? Are you okay?”
“We’re fucked,” Gauge said, and I saw the flash of a lighter as he lit a cigar.
“Has someone hurt you?” Shooter asked, his scowl deepening, but all that did was make me cry harder. “Tell me,” he ordered.
I sagged against the door, confused, scared, and lonely. I was going to die alone, and no one would care. Not my mom, not my godmother, no one. I cried harder.
“This is your fault,” Gauge said, punching Casa in the arm.
“Why the fuck is it my fault?” he asked, punching Gauge back.
“Because you were talking about sex with Beast.”
Casa laughed even harder and then Gauge joined in, but Shooter, he just stood there putting the pieces together and filling in the blanks, his calm exterior slowly soothing me.
“We’re not here to kill you, Belle,” he finally said.
“You’re not?”
He shook his head. “Fuck no. Why would we kill you? We need your help.”
I cried even harder at that. I was so confused, still slightly drunk, and still absolutely terrified. I thought I could stare death in the face and tell it I didn’t care, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even do this right. I was utterly useless.
“Jesus, this is why I don’t have an old lady. Fucking women are too emotional for my liking.”
“Yeah, that’s the reason you’re single,” Casa snorted on a laugh.
“Fuck off, it’s true. You ever been around Laney when it’s her time of the month? That bitch is crazy! I don’t want a lifetime of shit like that. Fuck that,” Gauge growled.
“Laney is a psychopath when it comes to you no matter what the time of the month it is,” Casa retorted.
“Ain’t that the fucking truth.”
“Can you two shut the fuck up,” Shooter’s voice boomed as he turned to glare at them. “Can’t hear myself think because of all your bullshit going on behind me. Now shut up before I shut you the fuck up.”
“Sorry,” Casa said, sounding insincere.
“And remember that may be your kid, Gauge, but that’s my old lady and you’d do well to remember that,” Shooter growled. He turned back to me. “Gonna need you to come with me, Belle.”
My crying had all but stopped as I’d listened to Gauge and Casa talk, so I took a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get some clothes on.” I swiped at my cheeks to get rid of the tears. I was so tired of this world. So confused with these people. And so damn lost that I’d do anything at the moment.
“No time, just grab a jacket. I need you to come now,” he ordered, reaching out to take my hand.
I snatched my arm back from his grip. “Will you at least tell me where you’re taking me?”
“It’s Beast, he needs you,” he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Beast…needed me… I reached out and took Shooter’s hand, closing my door on the way out.
This was a bad idea, and yet I had to make sure he was okay, regardless.
Chapter Five
~ BEAST ~
I woke to the sound of silence.
Silence and pain.
My whole body ached and shook.
My insides felt like they were trying to get outside, and my outsides felt like they were trying to get inside. I was trembling from head to toe, my teeth knocking together and my hands curled up into fists.
I was lying on my back in my room at the clubhouse in so much pain I couldn’t even speak to ask for help. If I had my gun then I’d have shot myself in the head just to end it.
I’d been in this amount of pain once before.
I’d barely lived through it.
I wouldn’t survive it twice.
My eyes were closed, but a noise across the room had me opening them so I could beg for help. Beg for pain relief. Beg for a gun, if need be. But when I opened my eyes and looked across, each movement in my muscles feeling like razor blades, I didn’t see any of my brothers there; instead I saw Belle.
She was curled up in my big armchair in the corner, her arms inside one of my favorite leather jackets. Her long dark hair was tied back from her face so I could see every angle of her face. She looked sad as hell, pale as shit, and she kept whimpering in her sleep. A bucket was next to her on the floor, and if I hadn’t been in so much pain, if every muscle twitch hadn’t made me feel like I was on fire, then I would have frowned, because I was confused as hell.
I didn’t for one minute think I was going to heaven after the crimes I’d committed. Lord knew there was only one place I was going when I died, and it was a one-way ticket to somewhere hot, but for a moment—just one brief moment—I thought I might have been in heaven.
Why else would she be there?
I wanted to say her name and wake her up, to beg for her to help me because I needed something to make all of the pain stop. But instead, I watched her sleep, wishing that I could hold her in my arms and take that sad look off her face.
Sweat poured from me, and my body shook harder.
Moments ticked by and I felt myself going dizzy, my mind fazing in and out. But every time I opened my eyes, she was there. Sleeping. Keeping me company while I slowly died.
*
I woke to the sound of humming.