There are so many words trapped inside us, but neither of us is brave enough to let them out. My gaze falls on his lips, desperate for him to press them against mine. But instead, he runs his thumb over my bottom lip before holding me tightly against his chest.
He pulls my chin up and places a chaste kiss on my temple, his silver eyes hiding a world of pain and insecurity.
“You fucking haunt me, Scar. I can’t get enough of you.”
Funny.
I was thinking the same thing.
Chapter 18
Easton
I keep Scarlett’s hand in mine as I walk us out of the hidden passageway. When I find the door that leads into Lincoln’s kitchen, I tap my fingers at the slit of the movable pantry wall until it squeaks open. As expected, no one is in here, but the loud music pumping through the house tells me the party is in full swing.
“You and your friends sure picked the perfect house to celebrate Halloween,” she jokes softly, trying her best to be lighthearted, but unable to hide the tremor in her voice.
I’ve never felt more helpless than when I saw her having one of her panic attacks all alone in the servants’ quarters. It took me back to the day we first met. How she was trying to be kind to me while I was being my usual dickish self. It all went to shit when she got trapped inside her head for something I unknowingly had done. I watched her demons feasting on her, unwilling to let go. I saw my pain reflected back at me through her big, brown eyes. It was terrifying how relieved I felt that I wasn’t alone anymore. That somewhere in this horrible world, there was someone who understood what it felt like to live with monsters inside you.
And with each encounter Scar and I share, it feels as if we are reaching the edge of something inescapable. Every imaginary wall we’ve built to keep our demons safely separated from one another seems to be disappearing, each touch bringing them closer to a forbidden encounter. Since the moment we met, we have tried to shelter our hearts from this precise thing, but it feels unavoidable now.
My soul still aches from the way her glassy eyes begged me to kiss her. Fuck, I wanted to. I wanted to just lay it all on the line and lower my lips to hers. But in the end, I pussied out. I couldn’t bring myself to lean in and take what was always meant to be mine. In doing so, I’d have to admit what I’ve tried my fucking hardest to conceal from both of us.
I love her.
I always have.
But a man like me doesn’t deserve love, only torment.
Scarlett is a victim, and I’m proof that true evil exists.
She bows her head to the floor, almost as if she can read every troubling thought in my head.
“Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?” I ask, wondering if being here will be too much for her traumatic psyche to endure.
“Hmm. It is my first Halloween party. It would be a shame that I got dressed up for nothing.” She bats those gorgeous lashes at me, putting on a brave face.
I suppress the groan that wants to come out. I can still feel her perfect, cupid-bow lips wrapped around my cock. I definitely wouldn’t mind ditching this party to have a repeat back at her place. If I’m unworthy of Scar’s heart, then having her body for as long as she’s willing to allow has to be enough to satiate my hunger for her.
But she’s right.
Scarlett can probably count on one hand how many parties she’s been to in her lifetime. The fact that she came at all speaks volumes. There is no doubt in my mind that she’s here because of me. So my need to ravish her mouth again will have to wait. First, I have to reward her bravery in coming tonight by showing her a good time.
“Then, I guess it’s time you meet my friends.” I wink as we walk back to the party.
Her lips curl to the side, a gorgeous shade of pink tainting her cheeks.
She’s so painstakingly shy at times that she’s unable to ask for what she truly wants. I’d find it endearing, if not fucking frustrating on occasion. She’s conditioned herself to be this way. Scar’s true nature isn’t this timid mouse she lets out into the world. It’s just one of the many masks she uses to shield her true self.
Somehow, she got it in her pretty little head that if she makes herself small enough, no one will notice her. Her sheepishness is just a side effect of such a facade. I know that inside of her beats the heart of a fierce goddess—one that would burn the world to cinders if given a chance. When she’s up on stage, singing her soul out, I see glimpses of that woman dying to come out. But just like me, her past binds her to be a version this fucked-up world won’t eat alive.
“Come on,” I say with a light smile, tilting my head for her to follow me, entwining my fingers with hers and loving how they perfectly fit to mine.
As we turn a corner in the direction to where most of the action is taking place, I freeze in place when I see two familiar figures in a nearby alcove. Colt has Kennedy pinned up against the wall, his arm looming over her head while she hesitantly stares up at his arctic face.
The fuck! Not this shit again.
“Stay here. Yell for me if it gets to be too much,” I order, leaving a confused Scarlett rooted to the spot, while I go and deal with this mess. I don’t want to leave Scar on her own, but I also don’t want her to have front-row tickets to this shitshow.
I slowly creep up on both of them, trying to eavesdrop on their tense conversation before I completely put an end to it. Colt and Kennedy are so wrapped up in one another that they don’t even sense my approach. Thankfully, the corridor is shrouded in the same dark-blue lighting that has been used throughout the house, giving it the desired, ominous Halloween-feel, which successfully hides my presence from the odd pair.
As I get closer, I see that Colt’s air about him isn’t threatening as I first assumed it to be, but rather broken and lost. That alone should raise all my alarm bells, but it’s seeing the same pained expression on Kennedy’s face that does me in. I clear my throat to catch their attention, making Colt instantly drop his arm from the wall, and giving Kennedy back her breathing room.
“Everything okay?” I inquire, my askance tone indicating that whatever is happening here between them is as far from being okay.
“Of course.” Kennedy throws me her practiced, fake smile, one that she has perfected over the years.
She can manipulate you into believing whatever she wants with those pearly whites of hers. I should know since I taught her most of the tricks she has up her sleeve. Too bad for her that I’m immune to all of them.
“You sure about that?” I cross my arms over my chest, staring down at a pissed-off Colt.
“Don’t be silly. Everything is fine,” she singsongs, trying to shrug off my suspicions.
Yeah, something is so not fine.
When Kennedy’s voice goes up an octave like that, it means she’s rattled. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Whatever Ken and Colt were discussing upset her to the very core. I don’t have to think too hard on what he could have said to unsettle her so.
She looks behind me and waves over at Scarlett, who continues to stand nervously a few feet away from us, a genuine smile now back on Kennedy’s lips.