It was stupid. We barely knew each other. In a few months, I’d be moving out of the building and taking my degree to start a brand new life. For all I knew, I could end up in California or Oregon or Minnesota. He was a blip in time and I was giving myself an ulcer worrying about the minuscule significance he held in the grand scheme of things.
He. Was. Nothing.
The following night when Josh walked me to my door and thanked me for a nice evening while casually placing a thin envelope in my hand I felt a little better. This was normal. This was good.
“I’ll see you next week?”
“Of course,” I reassured. He was a regular and one of my sweeter clients.
“Goodnight, Avery.”
As he called up the elevator I stepped into my apartment but paused at the sound of voices. Noah’s laugh filled the hall followed by a distinctively female giggle.
“That’s what I said!” The female voice seeped into the air like noxious gas and my shoulders tensed.
“Pardon me,” Josh said, stepping into the elevator after they stepped out.
I peeked through the cracked door, remaining hidden by the frame. After seeing Josh, he’d know I was home. But he was clearly too preoccupied to care.
Noah laughed again. “I wish I could have been there.”
“It was so funny. You would have loved it.”
They approached his door as he reached for his key. My stomach pinched at the sight of the woman. She looked a couple of years older than me, closer to Noah’s age. She was undeniably pretty, with long dark hair and the height I wanted. We looked nothing alike.
Her body brushed against his arm and something sharp stabbed in my chest. It was late, almost midnight. Were they on a date?
He turned, smiling at whatever she’d said, and stilled. His blue gaze snagged with mine, expectant and satisfied to find me watching him. I couldn’t hide the hurt tightening my expression. His mouth flattened and he looked down at the other woman.
“Tonight was great. It’s so refreshing to go out with a mature woman.”
My chin trembled. He knew exactly where to stick his knife.
“Same. You should see some of the guys out there. I’m so glad Laurel set us up.” Her body pivoted, angling her best assets toward his front. Her fingers trailed over the sleeve of his coat. “I don’t have any early plans for tomorrow. I could stay the night.”
I stopped breathing. Everything inside of me twisted airtight as I waited for him to turn her down. His eyes lifted, his gaze shooting to my door and back to her.
Don’t. Please don’t…
His hand lifted as his head lowered. Bile rose in my throat as his lashes slowly drifted lower and his mouth pressed against hers. I couldn’t watch. Quietly shutting my door with a shaky hand, I stepped backward until I’d walked myself all the way into my den and stumbled onto the couch.
He was a jerk. I hated him. He wasn’t my friend and he’d never be my friend again. I didn’t want someone like that in my life. So why was I crying?
21
Noah
The moment I heard her door shut, I broke the kiss. Unsure if Avery still watched through the peephole, I kept my voice low.
“Let’s not rush things. How about a cup of coffee, though?”
“Sure.”
I unlocked my door and slipped an arm around Morgan’s slender waist, nuzzling her neck for good measure. We mustn’t disappoint the audience.
Her hair didn’t smell especially nice, and her lips were too thin for the sort of kissing I enjoyed. Though she’d been a fun date and an indisputably attractive woman, there was zero chemistry.
It pissed me off that I seemed to measure every quality against Avery. I was going out with Morgan to get over Avery. It should be good that they were so different. But I was the fool who kept looking for a clone.
I made two cups of coffee and hardly paid attention to how she took hers. What was the point?
I could probably go to bed with her. She’d said something about having an open morning. But the desire just wasn’t there. What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I should just do it, force myself to get into it so I could get over my damn neighbor.
“You don’t talk much.”
“Sorry?” I stopped staring at my coffee and glanced at her, her words taking a moment to register. “Oh. I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”
She studied me for a moment then put her cup on the counter and stood. “I should go.”
“You don’t have to…” What was I doing? I only wanted to keep her here long enough for Avery to think we were fooling around. Good God, I was pathetic. “I’m sorry if this isn’t ending the way you hoped. I have a lot on my mind.”
She smiled and pressed her fingers to the back of my hand. “Hey, tonight was fun, and I got a free meal. At least we’ll know each other the next time we’re out for your sister’s birthday.”
I appreciated her letting me off the hook. “It has nothing to do with you. I’m sort of hung up on—”
“Your neighbor?”
Startled she’d guessed so accurately, I drew back. “Please tell me Laurel told you that.”
Morgan laughed. “She warned me you were getting over a girl who lived in your building. And I sensed we had an audience in the hall. It was the first time you got affectionate all night.”
“Sorry. That was a total dick move.”
“No, I’d call it an extremely human response. How about this? If I ever need to make an ex jealous and you happen to be single, you help me out the way I helped you tonight. Deal?”
Now that the pressure was off, Morgan actually seemed like a pretty cool woman. “Deal.”
“Should we kiss goodnight in the hall or are we good?”
“I think we’re good.” If anything, this was a reality check to how pathetic I’d become. Thank God Morgan was cool, or I’d be totally humiliated. “Thanks again for tonight.”
“My pleasure.” She kissed my cheek and pulled on her coat. “For what it’s worth, Noah, I think you’re a pretty great guy. If she doesn’t see that she probably doesn’t deserve you.”
I don’t know what she sees. “Thanks.”
Walking her to the door, I noted that Avery’s apartment appeared dark. Though she looked hurt to see me with another woman, she probably didn’t care all that much. I needed to nail this coffin shut once and for all.
“Goodnight, Noah.”
“Goodnight. Be safe getting home.”
As I shut the door, I let out a breath. It was a New Year. I’d spent most of Christmas moping into my beer and making my sister’s ears bleed. This had gone on long enough. Even if Morgan wasn’t the answer, she was a step in the right direction.
I was ready to be in a relationship again, but the last thing I needed was a relationship with another woman who didn’t want to be with me. And that truth seemed to shake some sense into me more than anything else.
22
Avery
Sometimes I was grateful I wasn’t some above-average, off the charts prodigy. My classes were never easy, and I struggled to keep my GPA above a 2.5. The goal had always been to make Dean’s List and graduate with honors, but I lived in the real world, where I was lucky to get accepted at a top-tier university and invited back each year. The beauty of my struggle was that it kept my mind occupied for most hours of the day.