“It’s not stupid.”
I wondered if she realized how many men in the office deferred to her. She was my second in command, my right hand. At four foot eleven, she managed to hold authority over the entire staff and keep them in line. And tonight, she took control of her situation by putting herself out there.
“I’d never fire you. But I think you were wrong at the bar.”
“About which part?”
“You said men want women with confidence, but you said it like you see yourself as insecure. You’re confident, Lucy. And the whole office needs you, not just me. You run the show when I’m not there. An unconfident woman wouldn’t be able to do that. I think you know how much you matter, regardless of whether I tell you I need you or not.”
She stopped walking, and I realized we’d made it to my apartment building. “But we all like the reassurance of seeing how necessary we are, Noah. Even the most confident person has doubts. Every time you need me for something, it validates my importance. I’m human enough to depend on that validation.”
No one needed to tell her that she often ran the show more than me. It might be my ideas and my name on the door, but I’d be nothing without her there to keep me organized.
“You know your job’s safe, right?”
She blushed. “I guess.” She smirked. “You’d be a disaster without me.”
I smiled because she was right. I needed her to make the tricky decisions, and that equaled security in her mind. It made her indispensable to my life. She was indispensable because she was the one in control—of my schedule, the payroll, the staff. I’d be lost without her.
She was the boss. I was just … the owner. And it worked.
“That’s it.”
She frowned. “That’s what?”
“You know how important you are to me, Lucy, but you still like when I come to you to solve a problem.”
“Of course I do. That’s my job.”
Actually, it wasn’t. But she’d made it her job, creating a position for herself in my world that no one else could fill. It was why I’d never fire her and why I’d never risk our relationship by getting romantically involved with her. She was priceless.
“Noah, what’s going on with you?”
My hands fisted in my pockets as my muscles bunched against the cold. “Nothing. I just realized something.”
“What?”
“That women need to feel needed.”
She pursed her lips. “So do men.”
“Yeah, but with us, it’s more about our egos. With women, it’s more about security.”
“You lost me.”
“Keep putting yourself out there, Lucy. There’s a good man looking for you, and sooner or later you’ll find him. Just promise me you’ll still keep my life in order when he shows up because I’ll always need you.”
Her smile showed how deeply the compliment resonated. “Thank you—”
The door to the building opened, and we turned. Winston stepped out, and I froze at the sight of Micah, my stomach dropping to my knees.
He’d been here all this time?
My knuckles cracked as my fist clenched at my side. He glared at me then glanced down at Lucy, his expression softening. I fucking hated him.
Lucy’s head tipped up, her lips parting slightly as she stared up at the other man. “Hello.”
“Good evening.”
I scowled, wanting nothing more than to tell him not to talk to her. I could invite her in, but that would send the wrong message. Luckily, he stepped past us and crossed the street, his headlights flashing as his car unlocked.
I glared at him, wishing a bus would come barreling down Delancey right as he crossed. As he glanced back, my eyes narrowed. What the fuck are you looking at?
Then I realized he wasn’t looking back at me. He was looking at Lucy. And she was watching him.
“Do you want me to have the doorman call you a cab?” I asked, stepping in her view.
“That’s okay. I think I’ll walk.”
“You’ll freeze.”
“I’m not that cold anymore. Goodnight, Noah.”
I frowned as she turned and lowered her shawl, exposing the sharp curve of her shoulder as she walked away.
“Mr. Wolfe?” Winston stood holding the door open, his chest flecked with freshly fallen flurries.
I quickly crossed the threshold, and when I looked back, the road was empty. All signs of Micah and Lucy gone.
I took the elevator to my floor and dug out my keys. As I unlocked my apartment, I hesitated and glanced back at Avery’s door. Before I realized what I was doing, my fist pounded on her door.
The wood jerked open, and she glared at me. “What do you want?”
“Did you sleep with him?”
“Oh, my God. Go away, Noah.”
She tried to slam the door, and I caught the wood. “Did you? I have a right to know.”
“What right? News flash, you have no right to me. You’re just my neighbor. We aren’t even friends.”
“Answer the fucking question, Avery!”
She flinched, and all arrogance left her face. “No.”
“No, you won’t answer it, or no, you didn’t sleep with him?”
Her long lashes fluttered, and her eyes shimmered. Voice small, she said, “No, I didn’t have sex with him. But I’m glad you think I’m such a whore you had to ask.”
My head tipped back in relief and regret. “I don’t think you’re a whore.”
“No? You sure it’s not in my scorpion-like nature.”
Massaging the bridge of my nose, I growled. “Why do we always have to fight? Nothing is easy with you!”
“Look, I don’t know why you’re suddenly at my door when you haven’t spoken to me in weeks, but…”
Her lips pursed, and the bridge of her nose flushed, the whites of her eyes a glassy shade of pink.
Her voice broke. “I … I can’t do this right now. I can’t keep disappointing you by being exactly who I am. I’m sorry we broke up. It was my fault—all of it. I never meant to hurt you, Noah. If there was another way for things to have worked out, I would have tried it, but there’s not. I’m always going to be this toxic person. You’re better off not trusting me and keeping to your side of the hall until I move out. Lucky for you that won’t be that long from now.”
A tear tripped past her lashes, and she either didn’t realize she was crying or refused to acknowledge her tears.
“Goodnight. I have to go.”
She pushed the door shut, and the soft click seemed to send a fissure carving into my heart. I stared at the door, unsure what to make of everything she just said. She was crying. Women like Avery weren’t supposed to cry. She was strong. Tough.
So why did she look so broken? Staring down at the knob, I reached forward and turned, my eyes shutting in relief when the door opened.
38
Avery
Hand on my quaking chest, I staggered into the living room and gasped for breath. I’d told Micah I’d stay, but after seeing Noah wearing a smudge of some other woman’s red lipstick on his lips, I knew I couldn’t stay here.