“Weren’t you?”
“Not just now.” She smiled wide.
She and Tim, who were very serious about each other had a date last night and I knew she felt guilty for not seeing me. I wished she wouldn’t though. I knew she was meant to be going somewhere with him today but rearranged so she could see me.
Xander was doing some stuff with Wes and Jack so I would have had the house to myself. It wasn’t a bad thing. Everyone however had decided that leaving me alone was off the table. I understood why.
I literally fell apart after Pa died.
For months I wasn’t myself. there was rarely a minute that saw me without tears in my eyes. Every day was hard. It was only in the last few months… maybe the last two months that I started to resemble something like myself.
Anya turned and grabbed the bowl of candy she’d shared out earlier when she got here. It was one of those party sized serving bowls. Earlier it was full, now it had gone down to more than half.
I rolled my eyes at myself and reached in for a tootsie roll.
“Good, it’s half the fat if we share it,” she bubbled.
I lifted my shoulders into a sassy shrug. The seriousness returned to her face when I popped the candy into my mouth.
“You sure you’re okay?” she asked. “Jia you know I worry about you.”
“You don’t have to, and I really hope you’re going to see Tim later.”
She nodded. “I am, we’re gonna go to dinner. I’ll leave when Xander gets back.”
“Or you could go before and get some time to yourself.”
“But, you know I’m going to pass on that so I can make sure I hand you over to the safety of that amazing man of yours.” She quirked a brow. “You won’t get rid of me so easy, plus I brought the sweets and I’m actively making sure you have enough serotonin to bring out the happy.”
I had to laugh. “You are so funny Anya. You really are.”
“I’m serious though. I know it’s been hard. Every time I think about how hard it’s been for you I remember when I felt so helpless. Every time I felt helpless and it was like there was nothing I could do to help you. It’s been three major times now. Your mom’s death, going to Italy with Armand and your father’s death.”
I looked at her and I understood.
We were as close as sisters could be. She was definitely that for me. I’d known her for so long and we’d gone through life together. I knew what she meant about feeling helpless. I knew if the tables had been turned I would have felt the same as her.
I reached over and took both her hands into mine.
“Anya, you may have felt helpless but your presence was what I needed. That was all. That was all I needed, just to have you. You did all you could do for me by just being there. You’re here now.”
She gave me a curt nod. “Thank you, and please humor me a little longer so I can just know you’ll be fine tonight. I rejoice every day that you didn’t end up with Armand. I just wish things could have turned out different all around.”
“Me too.”
Me too indeed.
I wished Pa didn’t die.
The grief that had taken hold of me after was indescribable. No one had ever seen me in that state. What they didn’t know was that I’d gotten like that as a result of everything.
What kept me going was Xander.
He was my good thing that came out of the darkness.
Between him and Anya they helped me find myself.
And, I had to do that part fast because Pa left me everything. Absolutely everything.
My father left me the whole empire that needed my attention. Things to restructure and sort out.
Everything in Vegas, Italy and the other property development businesses in L.A and New York.
Everything: all is assets and people. The knights stayed together and became mine. All except Armand who’d been incarcerated for the last six months. Who I relied on a lot to help me run the place was Frankie.
I put him in charge of everything. When I could I went to The Grand Marchesi probably once every other week. It was just to check in on the place. It was all I could stand to bear since it was weird not seeing Pa around. Or feeling his strong presence.
Frankie became my right hand man, and truthfully he was more like the boss. He did a lot for me. A lot I never knew about and honestly, a lot I didn’t want to know. I asked him and Vinny to clean up and sort out all the dirty dealings.
They’d know what to do and what I meant.
There was enough wealth to take care of everything. I wasn’t going to fall prey to greed and want after more. I guess I was the boss now and had a multi-billion- dollar fortune of countless wealth untold and the people that came with it.
What I valued most of all was my freedom.
That came too with deciding what happened next.
That part was where I was at. I was finally ready to do more with my life.
Anya grabbed some more sweets and beamed from ear to ear just as we heard the door downstairs open.
That would be the amazing man of mine. It was eight and he was here just as he promised. He was like clockwork and as reliable as the sun.
My stomach still did that little flutter when I knew I was going to see him.
In the mornings though, when I woke up in his arms, it was more of a tingle that flushed over my whole being.
“You should see your face.” Anya giggled getting up.
Heat crept into my cheeks. “I’m just happy to see him.”
“I can see that.”
Xander appeared at the door looking as handsome as ever. The sight of him brought an instant smile to my face.
“Girls, everything okay here?” he asked grinning back at me.
“You know it is.” Anya beamed then waved her hand at him. “I will see you guys later.”
She bent down to give me a hug then sauntered away with a bounce in her step.
As she walked out Xander approached me and I stood when he got up to me, falling into his embrace. I loved resting my head on his wide powerful chest.
I lifted my head though so I could kiss him.
“How’s my girl?”
“She’s good now that her man is home.” I loved saying that. The house had instantly felt like a home when he moved in. Then our place in Italy felt like where my heart wanted to be when we were there together.
I tried to figure out the distinction then I realized there wasn’t one. It was him.
That was the answer.
Home was where ever he was.
“How’s my man?” I asked kissing the edge of his cheek.
“Finally ready to get life on track with his girl.”
I liked the sound of that. I knew it meant more though since he’d seen Jack and Wes today. For this whole time he’d been with me supporting me and hadn’t done much for himself.
We lived together here, we had a home in Italy, and we were planning to go there in a few weeks so that I could continue my studies. That was as much as I knew in regards to us. Except that was all about me.
He pulled me into his lap as he sat on the chair and slipped his arm around my waist.
His expression looked like he had much to tell.
“I’m telling you this because I’ve thought about a lot and decided what I want to do,” he began.
“It sounds all secret.” I smiled.
“It’s supposed to be, but I won’t keep secrets from you. SMF want me back. They asked me to come back over a month ago and gave me time to think about it.”