I was naked under my sheets and completely freaked out when I saw him. Freaked and creeped because no one I knew thought it was normal to do that.
Honestly, when the other guys came they never did anything like that. They always waited downstairs.
Him though… no.
It was the first time that he’d done that and I suspected it was because of Xander. Xander who was nowhere to be found when I awoke.
I was right in thinking that sleep took him from me. I was right and I knew it would happen. It was just a matter of when. I knew last night was just last night.
Armand only left because Pa came by shortly after I woke up.
Pa came and Armand left when instructed to join the others in their search for leads on last night.
Pa’s presence gave me the chance to get dressed properly.
I went downstairs and was greeted by the aroma of eggs, bacon and French toast.
When I got to the kitchen I noticed Pa had made a full breakfast just like he used to when I was little. He and Ma would make sure they cooked together in the mornings for breakfast and at dinner time. It was a standard thing our families did in Italy. It was bonding.
It was nice.
Pa hadn’t done that in years and seeing him now took me back. It took me back despite the absolute shit that had happened over the last few days.
Yet, when he looked at me that embarrassment he’d sported since he hit me filled his eyes. He could barely look at me.
Different to when I was sixteen, probably because back then I did as I was told without question and hadn’t enraged him the way I had the other day.
“What’s this Pa?” I asked, looking over the exquisite breakfast he’d laid out.
“Making breakfast for my not so little girl,” he answered with a wide grin.
“It smells wonderful.” I nodded and offered a little smile.
He left the stove and came over to me, planting a kiss on my forehead.
I thought he would go back but he took my face and inspected my cheek where he’d hit me.
“I’m sorry bellezza. I shouldn’t have struck you.” He spoke with the remorse that glittered his eyes.
I couldn’t tell him it was okay. I couldn’t say not to worry about it or that I was fine, because I wasn’t.
“Papa, what’s going on?” That was the question of importance. That one. Not anything else.
After last night I thought I was well within my right to ask.
He dropped his hand to his side and went back over to the stove to finish cooking the scrambled eggs.
Ignoring my question, he grabbed one of the large ceramic bowls from the cupboard and started serving the eggs. They were the last thing to be ready.
“This was supposed to be breakfast in bed but Armand spoiled it,” he stated, still ignoring my question. “Like when you were sick. When you were little and had a cold or anything like that, you stopped eating everything during the worst part and when you started getting better you’d always like eggs. Breakfast in bed.”
“Papa, I’m not sick. I’m well. Physically I’m well. I don’t have a cold or anything like that. In fact yesterday I ate like a horse in a field. What I need isn’t food. What I need is answers.”
He held the bowl and stared at me. “This is the only thing I’ve done in years that resembles something like your old father. Cook for you. Cook and try to protect you. When I think of it though, you shouldn’t need protection.”
“I wasn’t in danger last night,” I pointed out meaning the gun hadn’t been aimed at me. It was aimed toward him.
“Girl, when bullets fly, everybody’s in danger, doesn’t matter who the bullet was intended for. Everyone is in danger.” He set the bowl down on the table and motioned for me to sit.
I sat but I continued to stare at him, watching him as he took a place and started serving food for me. “Pa, please talk to me. Please.”
He shook his head. “No, this is not something we will discuss. You’re dressed for work and I’m not sure if it’s better for you to stay here away from danger with the guys watching you, or there with me. Or, always with me.”
“Pa, I can’t always be with you. This goes back to everything you’re doing to control me. To control my life. Don’t you want me to live and be happy?”
His gaze hardened. “Jia, do not ask me that. That is all I want. Mostly I want you to live. Mostly I want you to live and not have the worry of threat to your life. Last night opened my eyes. It meant I have to step up my game.”
“And do what Papa? What more can you do?” I didn’t know why I bothered to ask since I knew there was a lot he could do. “Will you really lock me away? In a cage?”
He held my gaze. “Bellezza I will if I must.”
My shoulders slumped and I decided I had to up my game too, this was insane.
“Pa, I’m not going to be locked away in some damn cage. That is crazy. I’m not going to be attached to you either and I certainly won’t stay inside my house and have the guys watch me.” Each of those was a big no for me. “I’m going to work as normal. That is what I’m going to do. But damn it Pa, clearly something is going on. Something big is going on and you owe it to me to tell me what the danger is.”
I wasn’t stupid.
Last night I’d had Xander and he distracted the hell out of me. Being with him renewed me in some way even though I was still in the situation. It gave me strength.
“The last time you got like this was after Ma was killed. You thought your enemies would come for me. It’s the same thing happening again isn’t it?” I added, keeping my gaze on him so he knew I was being more than serious.
He looked at me and set his shoulders back. Biting down hard on his back teeth, he nodded, actually acknowledging my assessment.
“It will get to that stage. Last night told me so.”
So now the question was why.
“Who’d you piss off, Pa?”
I knew him and knew the kind of people he dealt with. Everyone was scared of him. All of them scared to even look in his direction. We’d had it good for years. easy maybe. I didn’t have the feeling I had to look over my shoulder for anything and me going to Europe was always on the table. Always on the cards then suddenly it wasn’t.
Whoever he pissed off had to be someone big time, really big time. Bigger than him.
“This discussion is over,” he replied, pressing his finger into the table. “No more questions Jia. From now on you are to do as you’re told. If you want to go to work fair enough but you are to stay on the main floor only. Someone will stay on watch here while you’re at home. You come to me if you need anything and I mean anything. I won’t take the risk of giving you back your car or access to your bank account just in case you get any bright ideas. I’m your father and it’s my job to make sure these people don’t come at me through you. My heart can’t bear it. Can’t lose you too. Not the way I lost your mother. She was the love of my life, just as you are. End of discussion.”
It was hard to be angry at him with the gamut of emotion his words stirred. And worse when I saw a tear run down his cheek.
It was hard to be angry, but difficult to just accept that I was helpless and little more than a child doing what she was told. Trapped in the darkness of my world.