“I have to be okay. It has to be okay. I can’t worry over everything. There’s too many variables.” Just like last time.
Last time…
I just couldn’t get the past out of my head.
The last time I felt this angst was when Claire was killed. Her and the team.
There were several things at work then but this time the game had a variety of players that I couldn’t keep tabs on. So, like I said to Jia earlier, this was the best way. It was, it had to be.
“I got things covered from my end,” Wes assured me.
“Thanks. just keep Ethan and the rest of the team occupied. I’ll contact you as soon as I can.”
“Cool. Bro, please check in with a text or something when you grab the prints?”
“Yeah.” I could do that. It would stop him from worrying. I’d grab the prints and fire off a message to him the minute I got back to my car. Then I’d head to Mexico and contact him and Ethan from there when I was ready to meet them. Ready and out of harm’s way.
Essentially, when I was long gone. That was the plan and me trying to be one step ahead of the game.
What I hoped was that nothing would happen here in terms of Balthazar. I hoped that with Jia under her mafia protection she’d be safe. I was certain in Italy she’d be safe too. That was what I needed for her right now, to ensure her safety. Then I could figure out the rest. I’d do it.
It didn’t escape me though, that every time I made some form of promise to her it got blown to hell in some way.
The hope was that when Giovanni realized the blueprints were missing he’d lose his shit and it would be known that he didn’t have them anymore. The fucking problem now was Balthazar knowing how I felt about Jia.
Balthazar knew I loved her. It switched up my worry entirely because it wouldn’t take a genius to work out that if Giovanni didn’t have the prints then I’d taken them. Nothing would stop him from using her to blackmail me into giving him the blueprints then I’d be once again torn between my heart and duty.
Providing I got them.
I had to factor that in first.
“Wes…” I had to give the extra warning. “If you don’t hear from me assume the worse.”
He went quiet. I almost thought he’d gone but I heard him blow out a breath.
“Shit. Xander don’t talk like that.”
“I don’t like talking like this but gotta say it. You know what to do if that happens.”
“I do, and I will.”
I left him with two instructions in the event that I’d failed. The first was to tell Ethan straight away what had happened and arrange back up because my failure could mean the prints got moved.
The next thing I asked Wes to do was tell Jia I loved her. That was it. two things. My two last requests I’d left in the charge of my best friend.
Fuck… I had to focus.
Focus and get this shit done. Work out the rest later. That was what I had to do and see success instead of failure.
“Thanks buddy. Gotta go,” I stated straightening up.
“See you on the other side bro. Xander, be careful.”
Be careful…
Yeah.
“I will. You too. You be careful too and get the hell out if there’s trouble. Don’t worry about anybody else, just get yourself out.” That was me thinking of the other variables at work here, the gray area neither of us knew about.
“I will.”
On that note he hung up.
Time to make this move.
I looked ahead at the drain entrance.
I was dressed in my usual black get up. I looked ready for this black op mission in every sense of the word.
I made sure no one followed me, but there was only so much I could do in that respect.
It had just gone eight.
I’d parked up in the park itself near an abandoned greenhouse behind the church. It looked like the caretaker or someone like that might have used it at some point. The whole area was covered with unruly trees and weed. It was a great hiding spot and different to what anyone might have seen if we’d been followed previously by Balthazar’s men.
I proceeded to the drain entrance, my backpack on my back with all that I needed.
I entered, turned on my headlight and made my way to the chamber.
In the darkness of the tunnel, my thoughts of Balthazar and this morning returned.
I hated feeling fear.
I hated it with a passion and hated it worse that the fucking man knew how to reach me. He knew exactly what to do to rattle me.
Jack always said, if you can’t get the head, cut off the foot or stab the heart.
He was right. All villains checked weaknesses first. It made sense to because those weaknesses were the way to cut down your target.
If you were as cold-hearted as Balthazar though and didn’t have a heart, it was so much the better, for him, for men like him.
I couldn’t be like that even with my background. I couldn’t. It wasn’t in me, that innate instinct to care was a part of me as badass as I was. I was a fucking badass, but when it came to it, my heart stood in the way a lot. It was what stood in the way the night Claire and the guys died.
I’d thought of Paul first. He was a comrade and friend. Although I knew rescuing him could more than likely be a trap, I still went. It was that element of a chance at rescuing him that made me do it. It made the guys in the team do it too. Protocol would have told us not to get him because it was too risky, but even Ethan didn’t follow protocol that night.
When we saw that he was on board to go rescue Paul and get us out too, it encouraged us to try. I tried and went against instinct. It made me put my woman in danger by allowing her worries to get to me.
I would never forget what she said to me back at the base. She would have said yes when I asked her to marry me. She mentioned us having kids. I never even thought that far but it was logical. It made sense. It was beautiful when the image of the future came into my mind, and as I’d watched her die the vision wiped from my mind. It became no more. A possibility I wouldn’t have.
Like today with Jia.
This morning when we woke up, she’d been in my arms. I held her and it felt like something we always did. Wake up together, make love again before we left for the day. Try to leave the bed and only bring ourselves to leave because the idea of having breakfast together was nice.
It was nice and I was glad we had it. I was glad I got to tell her I loved her, although the circumstances where shit. It was something I should have said as I made love to her, not as I was leaving her and saying goodbye.
Up ahead was the entrance to the chamber. It had taken me less than fifteen minutes to get here.
Well here goes. I was going in blind. Just like that night so long ago.
There were so many similarities.
Mostly it was the uncertainty. The not knowing if I was going to make it, not just this part but all of it.
I had to just trust in my skills.
Quietly, I got my tools out and looked on the device to see if anyone was inside the chamber.
Everything seemed okay. No one was around, so I went in and headed to the section where Wes and I had seen Giovanni and The Chameleon go through the flooring into the secret vault.
I rushed straight to it and took out the fingerprint mask. Placing it on my thumb I touched the hidden panel on the wall. Thank fuck it worked. I’d hoped like hell it wasn’t his whole hand because it seemed that way from the cameras. It was difficult to tell at the time. I’d thought maybe that it was one of those recognition panels that would allow clearance at a certain percentage of accuracy.