It made me tremble. I guess it didn’t help that I was crying too, he would have hated that.
“What do you expect? Do you expect me to be as heartless as you?” I countered.
“I expect you to forget that prick and focus on the future. We’re getting married in two weeks and here you are bawling over your dead lover.”
Dead?
Christ it was true. Armand had confirmation. He’d spoken to Pa several times throughout the day, maybe he got confirmation that Xander… died.
God, no… please.
I shuddered inwardly hoping against hope that it wasn’t true.
“You know he’s dead?” I asked.
He leaned forward and grabbed my face. I winced when he pressed his mouth down hard against my lips and kissed me. When I didn’t kiss him back he bit my bottom lip, squeezed down with a force that made me scream, then released me. I grabbed my mouth, shaking from the pain.
Although tears poured from my eyes, I raised my hand and slapped him hard across his cheek.
My retaliation, however, did nothing. It was nothing to him.
Completely unfazed, Armand just smiled at me.
He held his face and beamed at me. “Love the fire baby. Can’t wait to get my little slut in bed.” He gave me a deep hearty chuckle. “I hope Xander is dead. Forget him Jia. Forget. Him. You are trying my patience and you know patience is not one of my virtues.”
“I wasn’t aware that you had any virtues Armand,” I spat back.
He leaned forward again. “I’d watch that tongue of yours Jia. I own you now. I own your sexy as fuck ass. If you want to have a decent life I would definitely watch what you say to me.”
I laughed a laugh without humor and shook my head at him. “Armand, threaten me all you want, do whatever you want to me. You people are fools. Don’t you realize that you and Pa killed the only leverage you had over me. You’re basically telling me Xander is dead. So you think you own me, you only think you own me. But, I’m just a shell. A body.”
He smiled and his gaze dropped to my breasts, lingered there for far too long, and climbed back up to meet my eyes.
“I’m very happy with the body Jia. Very happy and I’ll take it,” his viperous tongue uttered, making me sick. Everything about this man made me sick. Sick like I’d vomit, especially when I thought of having to sleep with him. I knew I’d have to whether he forced me to or not. It would happen.
“Do you really have no form of decency?”
“No. I do not. I simply exist and take what I want bellezza.” He touched my face and ran his finger down the length of my neck, down to my chest and over my right breast, brushing his finger backwards and forwards over my nipple.
I cringed and his grip tightened on my breast, the touch becoming a clasp.
I winced, recoiling from him but he pulled me back.
“You’re hurting me, stop it.” I gasped. “Armand stop.”
“When will you tell me yes? Your lover is dead. When will you say yes to me? You used to.”
Every time I was reminded that I used to be with this man I died a little inside. He wasn’t like this. Not at all. The power Pa had given him went straight to his head.
In the past he would never have laid a hand on me and he knew the word no meant no. He would never have forced himself on me or touched me when I didn’t want to be touched.
That was the past and I suspected I was naïve and lacked awareness to see him for who he was until the day I caught him cheating on me.
“I will never say yes to you Armand. Never. I don’t know how you could be okay with that. You’ll have me, but I will never love you. I will never give myself to you. You will be the loser.”
“I’m not the loser here, it’s you. You couldn’t leave well enough alone. Not my fault that you got caught up in shit and burned, you were told what was expected of you and you went against it. The only person to blame in a scenario like that is yourself. Not anybody else.”
I couldn’t answer.
I couldn’t give him any form of comeback because he was right, he was actually right.
I got involved with Xander and there came a point where I should have ended it but didn’t. I should have ended it when I found out who Xander was. I couldn’t resist him though, then I fell for him. He had me hooked right from the start. The only result was this.
I looked away from Armand and he released me.
I gazed out the window, out to the shadows of night, out to the lights that lit the approach to the route that would take us to the airport.
It was better not to think about it, better to go through the damn motions and take each minute as it came. My problem was I was still hoping. I was praying. But there was nothing to hope or pray for.
We got to the airport in the time I’d guessed.
Pa was waiting for us.
Frankie was standing next to him and Freddo. Frankie was a welcomed sight. He’d been nice to me over the last few weeks.
I needed nice and he’d made it possible for Xander and I to see each other.
Pa greeted Armand in the usual way. I couldn’t believe it though when he came to give me a hug and a kiss.
Just this afternoon he’d treated me as little more than a rag doll when he shoved me onto the balcony and tried to get me to rat on Xander.
He was acting now like nothing had happened.
Like this was some meeting we always had and he was simply seeing me off.
“Everything okay?” he asked Armand.
“Everything is perfect and ready to go.” Pride danced on Armand’s stupid face.
“Wonderful. Is there anything you two need?” Pa’s eyes glittered with the satisfaction of this moment I still couldn’t believe was happening.
I was at the airport. I was actually here walking through the motion of this nightmare.
Armand shook his head in response and I just stared back at Pa, blank and expressionless. I just stared at him and stiffened like a statue.
Pa set his eyes on me and he narrowed them. “Jia, a little less tension from you would be appreciated.”
“Did you kill him?” I asked ignoring his shit comments. “Is he dead?”
Pa looked uncomfortable at the question, but he did that usual hard man thing by trying to look like he didn’t care. The thing was, I knew he didn’t care about Xander. What he cared about was what I thought about him. He cared that I’d stopped looking up to him.
“My dear girl, it is time to stop thinking about our enemies. Time to move forward and focus ahead.”
“Did you kill him?” I repeated, ignoring his bullshit. As far as I was concerned Pa was everybody’s enemy. He got involved with the wrong people and this was a symptom of that.
“He will be dead before the stroke of midnight I’m sure. If not, a bullet to the head should do the trick.”
I bit down hard on my back teeth and gave him a long hardened look of despair.
“I hate you,” I seethed. Resentment burned my chest. “I hate you.”
My father had done a number of things in my life, all enough to make me hate him. It was because of him, him with his enemies, that my mother died. They came at her to get to him. It was his fault. He’d done enough questionable things. Despite that, never once had I told him that I hated him.