“When I retire.”
Well, that told me nothing. “You’re thirty-eight. Virile. You are fit like you could win a marathon right now. I don’t know your health history, and please, over lunch, don’t give it to me. But you could be a billionaire, right? If you get that money my dad may have hidden somewhere. You could retire right then and there. So, this could be your second act, and it could be very soon.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever retire. I like working. It’s what I do. I like weekends when I can take them, like today. Quick breaks to have fun, and then back at it. I think the vineyard thing will be one of many things I will do in so-called retirement. I may be even busier then than I am now.”
It was really interesting how he saw his future. That wasn’t how I wanted things for myself. Sure, I was too young to worry about retiring now, but in the future, I did want someone to stay with me when we were older, raise the kids together, watch them as grownups living their own lives. Laugh. Travel—assuming the other person could manage the language barrier—and have fun with.
I did want to stop.
He wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life right now, and all I could think about was what I wanted to do with it then. What did that say about me?
We finished eating and eventually made our way to his motorcycle without any interference. After putting on my helmet, he handed me the terrible sketch we’d had done, and I held on to it while we drove through traffic. I would have loved to squeeze tight to him, to put my head down on his back and close my eyes, just letting myself feel the speed and the wind. But I held on upright instead. We weren’t in a real relationship. It was almost businesslike, and coworkers didn’t squeeze each other intimately like that.
The ride home was so much less fun than the one there. Still, I’d spent the day in Paris, and I hadn’t had a terrible time. Parts of it had been really fun, and I hadn’t anticipated that at all. I’d call it a win. Small incremental steps until I figured out what to do next so I never landed in this position again were the best I could hope for.
I’d lie so that maybe someday, I could tell the truth.
Yep…it still irked me and probably would for a long while.
We got off the bike at his home and made our way inside. He stopped me when I would have turned to go into the guest room. “I have a tendency to blow things up when they’re going well. Friendships. Shit like that. I had fun today. I hope you did, too.”
“I did. Until lunch.” Since I was trying for honesty, I let that just come out instead of trying to shield him from hurt, which was always going to be my instinct.
“Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t blame you on that. Tonight will probably not be a lot of laughs for you. The man I’m taking out, he’s been investing with us for ten years. Your dad needs his money to keep his numbers up. He’s not happy with the quarter we’ve had. Frankly, neither am I. But I have to keep going for now, and I have to keep him liking me so that when I split up with business, he stays with me.”
I nodded. “Right. So my role is to look pretty, let the people watching think we’re together, while letting you handle things the way you want to.”
“Exactly.” He let out a breath. Had he been worried I didn’t know how these games were played? I’d watched them for a long time. If it wasn’t high end finance, it was the music business, entertainment. Fashion. What did it matter? Everyone used everyone else. And right now, I was just in the middle of the deal that he had to land. Or re-land. He had to keep the deal he already had.
Like most things in life, relationships had to be managed.
Thinking of that, I took my phone out to look at my messages. “Don’t worry,” I didn’t look at him as I spoke, “I won’t embarrass you. I’ll be the best little silent date you’ve ever had. Is he French?”
He cleared his throat. “He is, actually.”
“Great. I won’t even know what he’s saying.” I looked up after scanning my phone to see my sisters and my brother had all reached out. With as dazzling a smile as I could manage, I escaped into my room, shutting the door behind me.
I should have been more grateful than this. He was outright helping me, had given me a place to live while this got sorted, and had taken me out for fun today. I sighed. I needed to remember myself and my manners. I hardly knew this man, even if it felt like I did. I only knew what he’d shown me in a very short period of time.
It took a long time to know someone’s soul.
I opened the door back up, catching him right before he stepped through his threshold. “Zeke, thank you. For everything. I can’t…” I couldn’t even really find the words.
He shook his head. “Don’t ever thank a man like me. We take advantage of it.”
I didn’t know what that meant, and I decided not to think about it too hard. He could act like I had no experience dealing with intense, successful men if he wanted to. But I’d grown up surrounded by and living in the house with one.
I took off my shoes, ignored my aching feet, and stared down at my phone as I plopped down at the bed.
My first text was from Hope.
Dad is a disaster right now. Pacing around. Muttering to himself. I don’t know what’s going on. I got a job offer I’m thinking of taking. Oh, and how is Ezekiel Scott? He’s so aloof. I can never get a read on him.
Aloof? I wouldn’t use that word. Not even close to the descriptor I’d have chosen. I answered her.
Sorry you have to deal with Dad. What job offer? Zeke is good.
I usually told Hope more than that. She was great at keeping secrets, and what was more, she cared a great deal about the people in her life. But I wasn’t feeling like I could open up about this. Not yet.
Maybe that was stupid. He’d kissed me once. Since then, he’d given no indication he was going to again, and he was still doing his whole “be nice to me and then turn around and insult me” thing. I didn’t know how I’d explain that if I was asked to, and considering I had decided to lie to my father—and therefore my whole family—by playing a role to help Zeke, I certainly couldn’t tell Hope.
She might understand, but she wouldn’t approve. I didn’t think Hope had ever lied in her whole life. She was kind to a fault and yet still always managed to tell the truth.
What was I going to say? Gee, Hope, I’m engaging in something that is going to hurt Dad in some passive-aggressive maneuvering because Zeke is going to help me get control of my life? Oh, forget the passive part. It was aggressive-aggressive.
Yep, I was going to be silent on this. And continue to hate myself over it. I rolled onto my back and read Bridget’s message.
I hate men. Let’s never get married. Let’s be strange old ladies living in the Hamptons together. We can talk to cats and garden.
I grinned. What was going on with her? What’s going on? And Kit is the one who has to be mad. I did the leaving.
Oh, I’ve just been in love with the same man practically my whole life, and he couldn’t care less that I exist. No big deal. Ignore me, I’m drinking.
She was? That would mean Bridget was day drinking, and I’d never seen her do that. Plus, it looked like we had more in common than even I knew. When I get back home, we can get started on that whole gardening thing. I can’t say that I’ve ever touched a plant. Have you?