“Is it getting better?” Pam asks me under her breath as we’re both bound not to speak of Jacob or his sister.
“It’s going great,” I lie as I lift my beer and heartily drink. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had, and the room gets a little fuzzy, but the outline of Crystal Bloomquist is crystal clear when she enters the bar. That woman has had a shameless crush on me for years. I tapped it once and swore I wouldn’t ever again, but my beer goggles are foggy tonight. I need to get laid.
“Ethan Scott, I have a bone to pick with you.”
“Lucky me, I have a boner you can pick,” I mutter.
“Ethan, be smart,” Pam mumbles beside me, but she knows I’m not. I never am.
Crystal smiles at me as she helps herself to my lap and toys with the edge of my shirt.
“Are you avoiding me?” the brunette with big boobs whispers into my neck.
“Why would I avoid you?” I lie, feeling nothing as she covers my thighs and wiggles against me. What’s happening? Actually, what’s not happening? Why am I not getting hard, and why am I suddenly thinking of one stubborn redhead? Wanting her on my lap instead of this willing woman. Wanting her to straddle me and run her fingers through my hair.
Now, I am getting hard and ready to use it on the wrong woman.
“Meet me in the back,” she whispers at my ear before removing herself from my thighs. I avoid the eyes watching me as I slowly lift myself from my seat within minutes of Crystal walking away from the table.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Pam says, placing a hand on my wrist as I stand.
“Nothing I ever do is a good idea,” I retort. The words come out slow and thick on my tongue. I want something else slow and thick against my tongue. Something sweet and wet. My thoughts race to Ella once more while my legs carry me to the back of the bar. I turn the corner for the short hall leading to the restrooms and stop.
Am I really going to do this? Am I really going to go at it with Crystal Bloomquist in a bathroom stall? Do I need to get laid that bad? Am I that desperate?
I am, I decide, until Jess Carter comes out of the men’s room.
“Ethan? You okay?” I’m standing in the hall, eyes on the ladies’ room door, feet planted before it.
My head feels heavy as I turn to face Jess and stare at him. His chin-length hair merges with his face, and he’s just a scraggly blur before me. His head turns toward the ladies’ room, then back to me.
“I’ve been there, man,” he says. “But is she worth it?”
Ha. Easy for him to question as he’s got a beautiful girlfriend who just gave up her life for this shit town to be with him and his daughter.
“Nothing I do is worth anything,” I mumble. But I’ve taken too long to make a decision, and Crystal opens the bathroom door. She glares at me. “I think I need to go home.” Home. I don’t even have a place I officially call home. I live in a room at someone else’s house. I have nothing.
“I’ll drive you, baby,” Crystal offers, but Jess steps up and interjects, “I got him.”
“You’re such a spoilsport,” Crystal says, eyeing Jess as he grips the edge of my jacket and gently tugs me out of the hallway.
“You just cockblocked me,” I mutter without much ire.
Jess doesn’t speak until we near the table. “You can thank me tomorrow, if you even remember.”
“What’s going on?” Tom asks as Jess still holds my jacket, and I shrug him off.
“Nothing, I’m going home.”
Pam looks at me, but I can’t read her expression. Her features all morph together. I can’t see much of anything as the world tilts a bit.
“Whoa, pal. I’ll drive you home,” Tom offers, being the responsible big brother-in-law.
“I got it,” I state, holding up both my arms.
“Karyn would castrate me if I let you drive like this,” Tom says, referring to my older sister.
“She’ll need to get in line,” I mutter and meet Pam’s eyes or what I think are Pam’s eyes. They blend into one giant cyclops-looking thing.
“I’ll take him,” Pam states as she’s the only one who knows where I’m living. I’m done with all this talk about me, coddling me as though I’m the baby in the group again. I’m not leaving my Harley behind, and Pam doesn’t know how to drive a motorcycle. However, the next thing I know, I’m in Pam’s car, and someone’s revving up my bike behind us.
“Someone’s stealing my bike,” I say, but I’m pretty certain it’s said more like somestealsmysmike.
“You’re so drunk.” Pam chuckles as she pulls onto Main Street. “That’s Jess behind us.” I nod and close my eyes, blacking out before we reach Jacob’s house.
+ + +
The next thing I know, I wake in my bed to a blood-curdling scream over my head. Despite my throbbing skull, I throw off my covers and race up the stairs, taking them two at a time to Ella’s room. She sits upright, rocking back and forth as I collapse on the edge of her bed, gripping her shoulders. Her eyes are hollow as though she doesn’t see me.
“Ella. Ella, you’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe,” I tell her, gently jiggling her. “Ella, wake up. It’s okay.” I tug her to me, hoping she’ll snap out of her horrified state. She doesn’t seem to hear me, and I’m freaking out.
“Ella, shh,” I coo, rubbing my hand up her bony spine. In a T-shirt and shorty pajama bottoms, she feels frail through the lightweight material.
I take a deep breath, hold and release, hoping she’ll follow my lead like the other day after her tantrum with the cookies. Slowly, she relaxes, taking deep breaths with me.
“That’s it, princess. Just breathe.” Her face is pressed into my shoulder, and her nose twitches. Then she leans back from me.
“What are you doing in here?” she growls, her voice harsh as she attempts to keep quiet. Her eyes are wild as they search my face.
“I…You were screaming.” My brows pinch at her questioning gaze. “You scared the fucking hell out of me. You were having a dream. A nightmare.”
“Get out,” she says, her voice dropping.
“What?” My entire forehead furrows as I glare at her scowling face. She’s still shaking, but my hands fall from her clammy skin. How am I the bad guy here?
“I said. Get. Out.” Her tone replicates the hiss from the day of our first meeting. If I didn’t know her already, the sound might scare me off. Anger vibrates around her like a hazy aura, and I can’t believe she’s acting like this toward me. She doesn’t scare me, though, and I’m not pulling back. Patience, whispers through my thoughts.
“Are you okay?” I ask with concern, refusing to move.
“You smell like stale beer and slutty perfume.”
My mouth falls open as her eyes narrow.
“I…” What the hell? The night comes back to me in quick bursts. Town Tavern. Crystal.
“You make me sick.” Her legs kick at the sheets over them, and she shoves me, pressing her thin fingers on my bicep. I scoot off the bed and stand as she quickly untangles herself and springs off the mattress. Brushing past me, she rushes to her bathroom and slams the door. Only it bounces back from the frame and provides me a view of her kneeling before the toilet, wracked with dry heaves.