Sounds…ominous.
“Meaning, I can’t tell anyone who you are or where you live?” I clarify.
“Or where you live as the offer includes you staying here.”
“Are you sure your sister’s going to want another person living in that house?” Are you sure she can handle me being there? She’s so hard-nosed and standoffish in reaction to me. It’s a blow to my ego. However, I do wonder what happened to cause such a nasty mark on her face? I silently pray it was an animal or an accident that caused such a scar and not a human being.
“It’s my house,” Jacob states, interrupting my thoughts. “She follows my rules. She doesn’t always know what’s good for her, but she needs you. You’re going to be good for her.” He speaks like a true older sibling and a man off his rocker because we’ll just see about that last statement.
Either way, I’m starting to think Ella might be bad for me.
Card 4: Pizza
Toppings make all the difference
[Ella]
“I do not need a babysitter,” I announce once Ethan is gone. Ethan. It’s a nice enough sounding name, but I’ve been fooled before.
“You’re almost thirty. Quit being so melodramatic,” Jacob admonishes me. I don’t like to upset him, and he’s a man not easily upset. For my entire life, I’ve watched him hide his feelings. I’m pushing him to the edge with my attitude, but I don’t care. I don’t need this.
“Yes, I’m almost thirty, so I don’t need a babysitter,” I repeat.
We’ve already tried a permanent live-in housekeeper. Mrs. White was her name, and all she wanted was Jacob’s attention. At fifty-five, she had a cougar vibe written all over her, but Jacob was too blind to see it. Just as he’s too blind to see how his girlfriend uses him. And too blind to see Pam standing right in front of him, accepting him as he is, flawed and all.
I moved here a year ago right before my birthday, but Jacob had already been here for nearly a year before me. He had a terrible accident and claimed an angel had saved him. He quickly learned Pam Carter was also a fan who blogged about his books—for better or worse. He hired her to help him organize his business affairs even though he has an official publisher and an assistant with them.
“And I’m not being melodramatic,” I state in a very melodramatic tone as I step closer to the island where Jacob remained after Ethan’s exit.
“It’s a good thing I love you, Belly,” he says to me, referencing a childhood nickname reserved only for extremes. Today must be an extreme. He looks tired. He worked hard on his last book, and I know he’s hoping for a big launch. The fall months are perfect for another mystery-suspense that’s bordering on horror from him. He fits the writer-man in the woods mystique with our current location.
And I’m not afraid to live here despite the location. I’m afraid to have someone else in the house.
“We don’t need him,” I state again.
Jacob sighs as he scrubs at his forehead. “We do because I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“But I’m safe here.” A question lingers. Am I not? The police never caught the man who destroyed my face. They never found him. I swallow back the memory. Jacob had been living in this obscure location in northern Michigan when he asked me to move in with him. He thought I’d be safe here. He wanted me to heal while I wanted to disappear. The healing process is ongoing. I don’t know that I’ll ever be whole again.
“I’d just feel better if someone else was present, okay?” Jacob would never ever hurt me, but I’ve seen his frustration blow, and he’s growing frustrated with me. I’ve seen the fury with which he pummels his punching bag, and I’ve seen him in amateur fight nights. I witnessed the way he eventually fought back against his father. He did it for me, and he still tries to protect me.
I shake my head, words escaping me. I don’t want to argue with him. He’s been a good big brother—stepbrother—yet he’s never felt outside a blood relation. He just gets me on some level. Maybe it’s because of our joint upbringing.
I liken my anger to a light switch, taking me from zero to fury with a single flip. In comparison, it’s a dimmer switch when it comes to calming me down. Jacob typically has that effect on me, bringing me down slowly when I’m worked up. Most days, he’s the voice of reason for me, encouraging me to pursue my dream despite what happened, or maybe because of it. He’s about acceptance when it comes to me and my life—meaning I should accept me for who I am and what I’m capable of outside of who I once was. He’s certainly done that with his life. However, today I just can’t settle. Between the nightmare last night, the overzealous workout, and two encounters with a virtual stranger, my body hums with disquiet. I’m all over the map of emotion, and I’m not giving in on this one.
I do not want someone living with us, especially not such a good-looking guy who has charmer written all over him.
+ + +
“Come out for pizza with me?” Jacob asks me later that night.
Ugh. He knows I hate to go into town. I don’t want people to see me, but more importantly, I worry someone will recognize me even though it’s been a while. On the other hand, pizza is Jacob’s favorite food, and he’s holding out a peace offering after this morning.
“Fine,” I mutter, giving in as a concession on my part for my earlier behavior.
We travel to the small town nearby. Elk Lake City is a quaint three-block village with a rapid river running through the town. The rapid empties into Lake Michigan on one end but begins in an adjoining lake named appropriately Elk Lake. I’d enjoy the town more if I wasn’t so anxious to enter it, and I despise how paranoid I’ve become. I need to learn to go out into the world soon enough if I’m going to make my pitch for my future.
“You know you don’t have to do that.” Jacob looks pointedly at the hood over my head, which I continue to hold against the right side of my face. My hair is also pulled forward like an extra layer along my cheek.
“I don’t want to frighten the children,” I mock.
“I hate it when you talk like that.” He does hate it, but I can’t help myself. I’m still surly over the prospect of a future houseguest.
As the day continued, I couldn’t shake images of Ethan from my mind. How his caramel eyes stared down at me as I sat on the gravel road. His smirky smile and playful expression when he spoke to me in the kitchen. His damn dimples. His hurt appearance when I said no one wanted him. He’s the type of man I would have once admired, even flocked toward, but now, I fear. He’s simply too good-looking. It’s a strange dichotomy, considering who I once was.
Guilt should stab at my chest for my behavior toward him earlier, but it doesn’t. I’m too coldhearted, without any feelings toward anyone but my brother. Jacob is the only person I spare emotion for and Pam. I like her. I should suggest she come stay with me for Jacob’s six-week tour, but I know he’ll reject the suggestion because Pam has another job.
After placing our order at the counter, we take a seat in the corner of the tiny dining room. Four tables with open seating allow other patrons to sit anywhere at random. Thankfully, the place is relatively empty despite the hour, and Jacob learns from the owner that there’s a football game at the local high school. High school athletics is a big deal for small towns. It’s a big deal for a high schooler as well, or so I’ve been told. I never went to a traditional high school. I had tutors and fittings, shows and photo shoots.