10
‘He almost kissed you!’ Sascha squeals clasping her hands together in front of her. ‘I knew it, I knew the Christmas tree plan would work.’
‘You didn’t know any such thing,’ I reply. ‘And anyway, can we please concentrate on the more important issue. Have you seen Ben this evening?’
She shakes her head. ‘He hasn’t been back since the two of you went Christmas tree shopping. Until you arrived here, I assumed he was still with you.’
The afternoon had flown by in the café as we were completely full right up until closing with both bookings and walk-ins and the Christmas cake went down a treat. Being so busy meant that I hadn’t had a chance to think about Ben’s strange behaviour again until after closing. I’d seen Geoff head down towards The Black Horse so I wrapped up the last of the Christmas cake and took it to the hotel to share with Sascha and between us we had unpacked the afternoon from the almost kiss to Ben walking out of the café.
‘So he helped you with the Christmas tree, you fell off a ladder into his arms, he almost kissed you, he helped tidy up the café and then he flipped out at a couple of customers and stormed off,’ Sascha recaps, counting off the points on her fingers.
‘He didn’t flip out or storm off exactly,’ I reply. ‘It was quieter than that, but he was angry about something, the Brass Monkeys race I think.’
‘What was the almost kiss like?’ Sascha asks, completely ignoring me. ‘Did he say anything beforehand?’
‘Just my name in this really gentle voice,’ I say, the memory bringing me out in goose bumps. ‘But don’t you think it’s weird that his mood changed so suddenly?’
Sascha shrugs. ‘Maybe he has a paranoid fear of the sea, or boats, or sailors?’ she says.
‘Nobody grows up in Sanderson Bay with a paranoid fear of the sea do they?’
‘Who knows? I mean really, how much do we know about him?’
‘Not much, although he did tell me that he finds Christmas hard too.’
‘Why?’
‘He didn’t say and I didn’t ask,’ I reply. ‘But it was nice to be with someone who understands that this time of year isn’t all joy and goodwill you know?’
Sascha reaches over and squeezes my hand. ‘I know you find this time of year hard, El,’ she says. ‘I’m just trying to get you to create your own traditions now that the café is yours. You shouldn’t be hanging on to your mum’s traditions after all these years, not if they make you sad.’
‘It’s not just that.’
‘And you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about Marcus,’ she says firmly.
‘You’re right, I do need to start looking towards the future.’
‘A future with a tall, handsome, grey-eyed stranger perhaps.’
‘Not if he just keeps almost kissing me and leaving,’ I say. ‘Although…’
‘Although what?’ Sascha’s eyes are like saucers, wide with curiosity.
‘When I was with him today, when we were at the Christmas tree farm and afterwards…’ I pause. ‘Well I didn’t feel as though I should be avoiding the way I feel. It’s OK to be attracted to a good-looking stranger, even if he is only in town for a short while. It felt like a nudge from the universe to start living my life instead of hiding from it.’
‘That’s such a good thing, El,’ Sascha says. ‘Such a step in the right direction. Even if Ben turns out to be just a quick kiss before he disappears forever it will help you take that next step, I’m sure of it.’
‘He seems to have disappeared forever anyway,’ I say. ‘And I haven’t even had the quick kiss yet!’
My phone starts ringing and when I pick it up I see Geoff’s name on the screen.
‘That’s weird,’ I say showing it to Sascha.
She rolls her eyes. ‘He’ll be getting you to check up on me, to make sure I’m resting. He’s been like a mother hen since I found out I was pregnant and it’s doing my head in.’
‘Hi, Geoff,’ I say into the phone. ‘I’m with Sascha now and I promise you she’s not doing anything more strenuous than eating cake.’
He chuckles. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he says. ‘But it’s not that I wanted to talk to you about.’ I can hear the sounds of the pub in the background.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘It’s Ben,’ he says. ‘I think you’d better come down to The Black Horse, and do me a favour, El, make Sascha stay at home.’
*
Making Sascha do anything she doesn’t want to do is easier said than done but I manage to persuade her that she didn’t want to come out on such a cold night and that I would call her the minute I knew what was going on.
The pub is overcrowded and noisy when I arrive, the windows steamed up from the warmth of all the bodies inside. Christmas tunes are playing on the stereo and Terry seems to have gone completely overboard with the decorations since I was last in here.
I see Geoff standing by the bar and wave to him. He waves back and I walk towards him. It’s not until I get closer that I see Ben, slumped on a bar stool next to Geoff, a half-drunk glass of whisky in his hand.
‘Is he all right?’ I ask Geoff quietly.
‘Put it this way, that’s not his first whisky,’ Geoff replies. ‘And he keeps saying he needs to apologise to you. I figured you might be able to help.’
‘OK,’ I say looking over at Ben again. He doesn’t seem to have noticed me yet. He’s just staring into his whisky glass in the same sad way he stared into his pint on the night of the pub quiz.
Geoff leans down towards me. ‘Thing is,’ he says into my ear, ‘I’m not sure I want him to come back to the hotel in that state. It’s not fair on Sascha.’
I want to disagree. I think Sascha is the best person to deal with this situation – she’d get Ben off that chair, back to the hotel and drinking coffee in no time and I wish Geoff would stop overprotecting her. I get it, of course I do, but I know it’s driving Sascha mad. I don’t say anything though – it’s their marriage not mine.
‘I’ll see if he’ll come back to the café with me,’ I say. ‘I can make him some coffee.’
‘Thank you,’ Geoff says squeezing my arm.
You owe me, I think as I walk over to Ben.
‘Hey,’ I say, nudging him gently.
‘Ellie,’ he replies. ‘I was hoping you’d be here.’ His eyes are glassy but his speech isn’t slurred and I wonder if he’s as drunk as Geoff thinks he is or if there’s something else going on here. ‘I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at those customers and I shouldn’t have walked out like that.’
‘Why did you?’ I ask. But before he can answer Terry comes over to ask if I want a drink or if Ben wants a top-up.
‘I don’t think so,’ I say to Terry. Isn’t there a law about not serving drunk people? ‘Shall we get out of here?’ I ask Ben. ‘Go somewhere quieter?’
He nods and slides off his bar stool. Geoff slaps him on the shoulder.