‘How much longer are you staying?’ I ask, but he just shrugs and avoids the question. I wonder if I should spell it out to him that I have a date with somebody on Friday but he must already know – nearly everyone has asked about it every time they come into The Two Teas.
I try to take my mind off my date with Ben – and take advantage of Marcus working for free in the café – by going to Hull for the day to finish my Christmas shopping. I meet up with Lisa for a quick lunch.
‘So Friday’s the big night,’ she says.
I smile. I always smile when I think of Ben. ‘Why do I get the feeling that everyone is living vicariously through me at the moment?’
‘We’re just excited for you,’ she says. ‘It’s good to see you moving on. Although isn’t it weird that your ex is living with you?’
‘Yes, but I’m trying not to think about that,’ I reply. ‘And I’m hoping Ben won’t get the wrong end of the stick.’ It is a weird situation, even though I’ve told Ben there is nothing left between Marcus and me.
‘Maybe you should just introduce them to each other,’ Lisa suggests. ‘It might make things clear to Marcus that you are definitely moving on while showing Ben that he has nothing to worry about.’
‘Maybe,’ I reply although the thought of it practically brings me out in hives. I’m anxious enough.
In the end I decide to wear my grey wrap dress with my black stiletto boots.
‘How do I look?’ I ask Abi who is staying late at the café to give it a deep clean.
‘Perfect.’ She smiles at me. ‘It’s nice to see you dressed up to go out.’ I don’t think Abi has ever seen me in anything but the black trousers and T-shirt I wear in the café, my Pilates clothes or my uniform of jeans and a shirt that I wear off duty. It wasn’t much more than a year ago that I was dressing up several nights a week – be it departmental dinners in college, nights out with friends or meals with Marcus. My life has changed beyond recognition in the last year and if Marcus coming back has taught me anything, it’s that I have no regrets about that at all. But Abi’s right, it is nice to get dressed up to go out again.
‘You’re sure you don’t mind staying to do this?’ I ask, gesturing towards all the cleaning materials.
‘Absolutely not,’ she says. ‘I could do with the overtime.’
‘Well if you get bored or need a hand, Marcus is just upstairs.’
‘No I’m not,’ Marcus says from behind me. ‘I’m here to help.’
Abi doesn’t look up but I notice her cheeks colour. I have a feeling she might have a bit of a crush on Marcus.
‘Don’t rush back tonight,’ she says. ‘I can open the café in the morning.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous – I’ll be back by midnight.’
‘Why? Will you turn into a pumpkin if you aren’t?’
I laugh nervously. I don’t want to have this conversation in front of Marcus. ‘It’s just dinner,’ I say.
‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Ellie?’ Marcus asks.
‘I’m perfectly sure, thank you,’ I begin, but before I can say anything else the café door opens and Ben walks in.
‘Oh sorry,’ he says. ‘The door was open… and…’
‘I’m ready,’ I say putting on my coat. I don’t owe Marcus any sort of explanation and I turn to give Ben my full attention. He smiles at me and my heart is suddenly in my throat again and it’s not from the weird nerves and concern that I’ve had all week. It’s because he has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and I can’t believe I ever thought it was smug. He holds out his arm for me and I tuck my hand into his elbow.
‘Look after her,’ Marcus says from behind us as we leave.
Ben stops and turns around. ‘I intend to,’ he replies.
18
‘Is everything all right?’ Ben asks as he parks the car outside the restaurant I’ve chosen – an upmarket gastropub about five miles out of Sanderson Bay. I’m fairly sure we won’t see anyone we know here.
I undo my seatbelt. ‘Yes of course,’ I say. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’
‘I don’t know, I felt as though I was walking in on something there. I’m assuming that was Marcus?’ I’d told him during the week that Marcus was still staying with me and showing no signs of moving out.
‘That was Marcus,’ I reply. ‘And also Abi who works with me at the café. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you; it just felt a bit weird. But you didn’t walk in on anything.
‘OK,’ he says.
‘Abi was just telling me that she’d open the café for me in the morning.’
Ben reaches over and takes my hand. ‘Is she not expecting you to be back in time?’ he asks quietly. I look up at him and he catches my eye.
‘Clearly not,’ I say as I desperately try to look calm while my stomach turns cartwheels.
‘So you’re sure everything is OK?’
‘I think I’m just a bit nervous. It’s a long time since I went out on a date and it feels as though there’s a lot of pressure.’
I watch his eyebrows draw together. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he says. ‘If you’ve changed your mind about tonight—’
‘No!’ I interrupt a little too eagerly. ‘No, I haven’t changed my mind and I didn’t mean that I felt pressure from you. Just…’
‘Ah,’ he says, realisation dawning. ‘The knitting ladies.’
‘They seem so invested in this and I feel if I don’t get it right I’m letting them down. I know that sounds ridiculous.’
He squeezes my hand gently. ‘Relax,’ he says. ‘I just want us to get to know each other better. Forget about everyone else. Tonight is about you and me and if at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to go home, just tell me.’ He tucks my hair behind my ear with his free hand, his fingers lingering in my hair. ‘Your wish is my command.’
‘Thank you,’ I say quietly and he moves away to get out of the car. I reach for the door handle.
‘Wait,’ he says. He gets out and walks around to my side of the car. He opens the door and holds out his hand to me. I don’t say anything. I just let the warm fuzzy feeling wash over me and try to do what everyone keeps telling me and relax into the moment.
He wraps his fingers around mine and draws me into his side as we walk to the restaurant. It’s freezing again and I snuggle into the warmth of his body.
‘So how’s work?’ I ask. ‘Did you get everything sorted out?’
I feel him tense against me again. ‘Um… yeah, yeah,’ he says. ‘Everything’s fine.’ It doesn’t sound fine. He stops and turns towards me.
‘I don’t want to talk about work,’ he whispers. ‘And I don’t think I can wait until after dinner to kiss you again.’
‘Nor do I,’ I reply.
Our fingers still entwined he lowers his lips to mine and kisses me so gently, so teasingly as though it’s a taste of what’s to come, an appetiser for the evening ahead. It knocks the breath out of me.