We have a lot to look forward to and I will not allow the sins of the past to cloud that… not ever again.
I will never again allow myself to live in fear. It’s a vow I make to myself right here and right now. Before I know it, Rayne has come back to the vehicle with two overnight bags tucked under his arms.
“What’s going on?” I ask him as he settles the bags in the backseat next to Dash.
“Our house is a crime scene for now,” Rayne informs us. “We need to spend at least one night at the hotel.”
“I’m gonna let you two do your thing,” Dash interrupts us. “I need to grab my car and check into my room anyway. I have a friend a couple of towns over I planned on going to see tonight. We’ll catch up tomorrow,” Dash states as he leans up to give me a kiss to the cheek. “Later, Rayne.” He exits the vehicle without another word said to either one of us. I watch as he makes his way to his rental and gets in and is directed out by one of the patrol officers.
“We’ll make a night of it,” Rayne says as I turn my attention back to him. “We’ll take the pregnancy test, order room service and catch a few pay-per-view movies on the television.”
“Sounds good to me, but first, tell me what all happened while we were away.”
He lays out everything he learned from Lucky as we drive. Drugs? A bomb? Seriously? This guy has a few screws loose in the membrane. He needs some psychological help. He needs to spend his life in the prison’s mental ward to where he can be monitored and given the right drugs for his issues. He’s a menace to society, and my family will never be safe as long as he’s allowed to roam free on the streets. We will always be a target for him, and I won’t sit idly by as my children grow up always watching over their shoulders for a possible threat.
This needs to end, and it needs to come to a conclusion now.
28
Rayne
“Jace, you’ve been secluded in there forever. When can I come in?” My impatience with being locked out of the bathroom while she takes the test is beginning to rattle me. I can’t believe she wouldn’t let me in there for the entire process. Why is it so disconcerting and a declared abomination for her to have me in the same room as she is while she pees? I’ll never understand women and why this is such a damn issue.
“Just a few more minutes, hold your damn horses!” she hollers through the door that separates me from seeing my possible future come to fruition. I wanted to be part of the whole kit-and-caboodle. I wanted to stand in the bathroom while she held the stick under her urine. I wanted to help her wash her hands as she set the test on the counter. I wanted to count down the minutes with her as we anxiously waited on the results. In my mind’s eye, we did it all together, and I’m gonna diplomatically admit that I’m a little pouty that she’s taken that dream away in a matter of minutes.
“Jacey.” I whine out her name like a petulant child. “Open the door,” I beg. Hell, I’ll get on my bended knees if it’d admit me entrance into that room with her.
“Jeez, Rayne. Why are you so impatient?” she inquires through a haughty, irritated tone—one that’s protruded fiercely on her tongue and clearly heard in her voice.
“Because, baby. I wanna be there holding your hand with you while the results show us whether or not we’re expecting. This is not how I saw this happening in my head,” I admit to her as a sigh leaves my mouth.
The door creaks open as she sticks her head between the slit. “I just didn’t want you in here while I was using the restroom, Rayne. I haven’t even looked at the tests yet. I wouldn’t do that without you.” Her admittance has my shoulders deflating. I was allowing the fact that I wasn’t inside that room with her to chap my ass. She reaches out her hand for mine, and I comply by sticking my own out. Once our fingers are interlaced with one another’s, I allow her to guide me into the room with her. My eyes immediately swivel to the sink where the tests are neatly laid out. The first one I pay close attention to. I see what appears to have a time clock displayed as it continues counting down. Closing my eyes, I pray that things are going to turn out how I wish them to, but at the end of the day, there’s a time for everything to occur in your life and that’s when it’s meant to, so if now isn’t the time, I need to be okay with it. That’s something I need to remember when the results are finally revealed. I don’t want her to spot disappointment on my face if the results are negative.
I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her middle as we wait on the sticks to do their thing. What feels like hours but in reality is only several minutes, Jacey’s phone dings indicating that time’s up and we can look at them now. We both look at each other, exchanging looks of anticipation before she scoops up the first one.
Clear as day, in the little indication box, the word ‘pregnant’ flashes before our eyes. Not being able to resist the temptation, I pick her up in my arms and twist her to where our chests are touching and twirl her around. A shout of elation and joy leaves my mouth as we dance our way around the bathroom. Her head is thrown back in laughter and the beauty that shines from her has my heart jumping in my chest. I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.
Not only did we find our way back to one another, but we are growing our family. Hadley was a gift I never knew was waiting for me, but this baby, he or she is going to be the glue that finally bridges the gap that time has thrown into our lives. There’s no longer need for resentment, just pure, unadulterated bliss and delightfulness.
The things I once thought were of the utmost importance to my happiness are no longer something I need nor desire. All I wanna do is run out to the hardware store and buy that white picket fence and put it around our home. The bones of that house are what brought me a sense of belonging and a feeling of finally being home. I can’t wait until we fill it full of laughter and cheer.
Call me crazy, think of me as going insane, but I also am looking forward to temper tantrums and arguments. Preferably ones that end with Jacey riding me as we make up and give our bed a workout.
“Are you happy, Rayne?” She interrupts my thoughts as I place her back on her feet but keep her in the embrace of my arms. Leaning down, I capture her lips with mine. We consume one another as we share our elated joy through actions instead of words. I want to relay to her how truly enamored I am with her, and the fact that she’s giving me another gift of life. I want nothing more than to fill our house full of little Hadley’s. As long as they all look like Jacey… okay, maybe not Hadley’s, but little Rayne’s. I’m not sure my heart could take watching a house full of girls leave me as they go on dates, move off to college and marry some fucking prick that I’m sure they won’t let me vet ahead of time.
That brings a frown to my face and I see the worry cross Jacey’s face. “I was just thinking that any further children we have need to be boys. I have a hard enough time imagining Hadley going out with the opposite sex, I don’t think my heart can take more girls putting me through the same. So, I’ve decided that this one needs to be a boy as well as any others we produce.”
“You’ve decided, huh?” I can see the mirth dancing in her eyes as she works hard not to let a smirk take hold of her features.