"But are you glad it did?" I ask.
He nods, kissing my arms, finding my fingers and lacing them with his.
"How long are you in town for?" I ask.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "I leave tomorrow."
The words shoot straight to my heart, wrapping it up in fear. “So soon?"
He nods. "I have a meeting with a prospective client in two days. We might be filming a training video soon, and…"
"No, you don't need to explain. It's your life. You don't owe me anything."
He frowns. "I know I don't owe you anything," he says, "but I’d like to tell you what I have going on so you know what to expect."
At this, I pull away, getting out of the bed and reaching for my robe. "I don't expect anything," I say, thinking that's the right thing to say at a moment like this, that I have no expectations of him. No demands, no hopes, no dreams because he is a stranger, right? And you can't fall in love with a stranger. You can't expect a life with a stranger.
I cinch the robe tight around my waist. "It's been a long day," I say. "You should probably go."
He gets out of bed, frowning. "Just like that? We just had an incredible time together. From the moment I laid eyes on you, it's been perfect chemistry. But you just wanted to sleep with me and then get rid of me?”
"Something like that," I say tightly, not wanting to say the truth, that this is why I don't give my heart to anyone. This is why I'm closing myself off.
I'm waiting for the cream of the crop because the perfect man for me wouldn't leave me.
But there's a doubt in the back of my mind, reminding me that Mills hasn't said he's going anywhere. He said he has a meeting. That's it. He didn't break things off before they began. No, he has a job just like I have a job.
“Fine, I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted,” he says, dressing quickly, shaking his head in what looks like shock.
Even as it is happening, I realize I'm letting fear get in the way and override all my logic, all the data I've collected over the last few hours — data that tells me Mills is funny and charming and faithful and real. That we have the same desires in life, the same hopes, that we have careers that we care about and plans for the future.
And, and, and… I could go on and on. The data I've collected tells me everything I need to know, especially that I don't need to be scared of Mills checking out before we've started.
But all that logic that I've let rule my mind forever has gone out the window.
And I realize in this moment, as I tell him to leave, see the hurt look on his face as he walks to the door, it's not data I'm collecting at all. It's excuses.
As I shut the door on the man who told me he's falling for me, I know that I've let excuses rule my life and they might just be ruling my future too.
Chapter Six
Mills
I can't believe she tossed me out. But as I walk away from her house pulling on my jacket, feeling more than a little stunned, I realize I shouldn't be so surprised. The moment I met Mallory, she told me she wasn't a risk taker, kept her heart closed up for a reason. It wouldn't get hurt that way.
And although we just met, I can recognize that whatever she's been through to get her like this is something you can't get over with one kiss, with one night, no matter how hot the sex is.
So I walk away, accepting her request without pushing back too hard.
Of course, I wanted to make her understand that I'm not a guy who's going to screw her and then screw her over. No, that's never been my style and it certainly isn't now. I want Mallory to want me, because God, I want her.
It's hard to sleep but I finally manage to get some rest, knowing that I have responsibilities tomorrow morning to the gym, to Grayson, and to my cousin, Trent, for that matter, along with all the people who signed up for the training at the new rock wall I've installed. So I force myself to stop thinking about her, though I'd be lying if I told you when I woke up she wasn't the thing I'd been dreaming about all night long, because she was.
Fuck, I have to see her again. I have to explain that I'll take things slow. That we can take time getting to know one another. Hell, I'll cancel the meeting. I'll turn my life around. I'll make my life hers, whatever she needs. Because I don't want to leave. Not like this, not forever.
When I get to the gym, I realize I have a few extra minutes. So I jog across the street to the coffee shop and order an extra tall hot chocolate with extra, extra whip. After last night, I need something to feel good about.
While I'm there, I run into Trista, Trent's wife. "Hey," she says. "I feel like I haven't seen you at all since you've been in town. You doing okay? You look a little…" She frowns.
I run a hand through my hair. "Like I didn't sleep much?"
"Yeah," she says, laughing. "Don't tell me, you met someone."
I chuckle. “Not sleeping means I met someone?"
She shrugs. "It's happened before. Finding love at first sight seems to be in the water in this town. Or the food.”
"I don't know what it is about this town," I say, shaking my head, agreeing with her.
"So there is a girl?"
I grin, taking a drink of my hot chocolate. "I really got to get back to the gym. The training's going to start in the next half-hour."
"I know," she says. "I'm headed that way too. So tell me, would I know the lucky lady?”
"I didn't realize you were so eager for another woman in the family."
She smiles. "I just think you might be lonely living the bachelor life in Seattle. You never mention dating anybody. Trent says you're single and…"
I laugh. "Okay, okay. I got it. Yes, I've been single, and yes, I met someone."
"So does that mean we might be seeing you around more often?" she asks. I appreciate that she hasn't pressed for the name of the woman I met. It makes me respect her a little bit more than I already do, which is quite a lot.
"If things go how I hope they do, yes."
"Did you already check out of your hotel?" she asks. “Because I was thinking maybe we could all grab lunch before you head out. After the training?"
"I haven't checked out of the hotel," I tell her, running a hand over my jaw. "And I've really got to see someone before I go."
She laughs as we walk outside into the blustery fall day. "Okay, okay. I won't be offended. I get it. If you met someone, she's your priority, not your cousin and his wife."
I chuckle. "If this goes somewhere, you'll be the first to know."
"All right," she says, "keep me posted."
The training goes quickly, but after, when Trent asks how I'm doing, I admit that I've been better. "Well, everyone's totally impressed with this wall. Everyone's going to be competing over the next few years to see who gets the best time."
"It doesn't have to be a competition," I say. "You know that, right?"