He raised one brow. “How can you sound so confident?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s the only option life has ever afforded me. Be confident or be controlled. I chose to stand my ground, so now I’m going to be this annoying until the day I die.”
He stood and reached for her, his eyes so soft and warm that she felt like she would melt. She stepped into his open arms and pressed her ear to his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. Even if they were not meant for each other, she would always call him her mate. She doubted anyone else would ever be able to cut through the thick tension she’d wrapped herself in.
He pushed her hair back from her face. “You’re not annoying. You’re inspiring and comforting.”
“Don’t let my brother hear you say that. He’ll be quick to correct you.”
“It sounds like he’s the one who needs correcting,” Ford said before stealing a kiss from her.
Though it seemed like they’d become a couple, there hadn’t been any formal acknowledgement of it. Daphne wanted him to call her his mate or at least his girlfriend. He’d done neither, and they hadn’t discussed their next step yet, either.
“You’re waiting for the world to fall on you,” she said out loud once she realized it.
He deflated. “Yeah. I think I am. Nothing has ever been this good. Not for a very long time.”
She nodded and hugged him tighter, afraid he might slip away. If he didn’t retreat to punish himself further, then this war might steal him from her. Gavin had asked Ford to help him against Zander. Daphne had never known Zander to lose a fight to anyone. While she had confidence in Ford’s strength, fear took up residence in her mind and refused to budge.
Her confidence couldn’t last forever. It was under barrage from all sides. She couldn’t find everything she ever needed only to have it ripped away from her. Yet, she worried that’s exactly what would happen.
“Make love to me again,” she asked as she pulled him down onto the bed with her.
Alone, the air between them heated. Though she knew there were other shifters under this roof, only a few rooms away, she didn’t care if they heard. She would savor every moment with Ford that she could.
He propped himself up over her and let his gaze rove over her face, her neck, her exposed chest. “I’m afraid I’m confused,” he whispered almost sheepishly.
She caught the way his attention lingered on the claiming mark on her shoulder. A pulsing sensation started beneath the bite mark and traveled to her core.
“Do you feel…as strongly as I do?” she asked.
He laid a gentle kiss on the claiming mark and pleasure exploded around it, making her gasp and arch into him. The feeling was unlike any other. She couldn’t describe it, but knew Ford was at the center of it all.
His hesitation hurt.
She should have prepared herself for this. The interaction between him and Zander had left her too hopeful. She’d assumed Ford’s intervention was because he loved her the way she loved him. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
“I’m afraid to let myself love you,” Ford said finally. “What happens when I convince myself you’re my mate, and then you find the person you were always meant to be with? What do I do when I have to face the fact that it isn’t me?”
She wished she had a good answer for him, like when he asked about this war and forgiveness. Instead, her mind blanked. No amount of preparedness would help her in this situation.
Ford let his forehead fall to her breastbone. His breath washed over her skin, warm and uneven. She buried her fingers in his hair. Desperation made her own lungs tight. She never wanted to let go of him. If they never asked questions, they could believe that they were meant for each other for the rest of their lives.
Until someone else showed up. Daphne didn’t want to think that she could betray Ford like that, but mates were inevitable. No one defied their mating bond. She couldn’t escape what fate had in store for her.
But she could question the past, even if it might hurt him.
“What if she wasn’t your mate?” Daphne asked. She held her breath, waiting for Ford to explode.
He said nothing. His breath still warmed her chest. The only thing that told her that he was still awake was the tension stiffening his back.
“There was a couple that I helped,” Daphne said. “They were a mated pair. He’d been a shifter all his life. She had been changed and found herself under my tutelage. I was supposed to help her adjust to a new life, but she was having problems.
“When Zander had to put her down, so she wouldn’t be a risk to the rest of the clan, her mate lost control. He didn’t attack Zander. There wasn’t enough of the man left in him for him to even think about revenge. We saw him from time to time until he vanished. We think he burrowed, but no one can be sure.”
She hoped this tale held the evidence he needed. She wasn’t trying to sully his relationship with a woman he once loved. Going into a relationship with a man who still loved his last woman was a strange experience that Daphne couldn’t compare to anything else. She was used to men who hated their exes or wanted a fresh start from a troubled past.
Ford had been living in that past. He held it tight, but she wasn’t sure everything he believed was true.
Perhaps that was selfish of her to assume. She wanted him all to herself, and so she tried to diminish what his wife meant to him. At least she was aware of what she was doing and could temper the things she said, so he couldn’t hear the desperation she wanted to unleash.
Ford might have gotten his vengeance for his wife, but he didn’t lose control. She knew what a dragon without a leash looked like after dealing with them for the better part of her life. Had Evangeline had any control when her fear had gotten the best of her, she would have actually hurt Daphne. Instead, both instances had ended with minimal damages.
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Daphne pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes as she lied. She knew exactly what she had said, but feared Ford heard none of it.
She ached to be understood and taken care of. Ford had shown her so much kindness in the past that she now craved it like a drug—not the hard stuff, but like one craves coffee at the break of dawn. She needed him, so she could get through her day.
If they were mates, then he would need something from her, as well. She didn’t know what she could give him. If he couldn’t acknowledge what they were to one another, then he wouldn’t be able to tell her what he needed.
When Ford lifted himself, she thought he would leave. He hovered over her body. The air between them churned with the heat they produced. She thought they might set the bed aflame soon. It was a fire she was willing to perish in. If that was how she ended, then her life had been worth it.
Still, she held her breath and waited for him to retreat.
“There’s no way of knowing what I had,” he said, meeting her gaze.
That’s it, she thought. This is the end of us.
Or so she thought until his hands found her waist and his lips met her shoulder. His touch made her groan, a hunger igniting in her core. She needed more of him. Her desire for Ford would never be satiated. She wished she could show him this, could make him understand that no matter what he’d had in the past that he would be the only man for her ever again.