Noel visibly flinched, and rage twisted in Jai’s gut, hot and ugly. “Greater good? Like abandoning my Other in Purgatory to be tortured and flayed? By looking the other way when Nephilim were murdered in droves? Can that be justified on the scales of eternity merely because they were necessary sacrifices for the greater good?”
“We can’t save everyone.” Malachi shrugged, scrutinizing his cuticles, and Jai nearly scrambled over the table to wring his neck.
But Noel, ever the better man, stopped him. “Calm down. Breathe. This doesn’t help Riley.” He fit himself between Jai’s body and the table, his hand on his Other’s chest where the ache had grown to a pulsing throb.
Th-Thump, th-thump, th-th-thump.
“Start the search in Purgatory, then.” Gideon directed the order at the councilmen. “If time is what Lucifer is after, then he will find it there. If we search Styx first, we waste a day, a day and a half at most. But that’s what? A week in Purgatory? It only works in their favor, not ours. Not Riley’s.”
The three councilmen exchanged weighty looks. Michael scrubbed the top of his bald head. “Yes. We’ll fit a battalion immediately.”
“I’ll lead them,” Malachi interjected, squaring his shoulders. “I have a good group, trustworthy, covert. We’ll slip in and search under every rock and sand dune. And my men are discreet. We don’t want to run the risk of throwing Utopia into an uproar at the boy’s disappearance.”
Jai wasn’t the only one shocked at Malachi’s offer. The entire table fell silent.
“Like Hades you’re going anywhere near Riley.” Jai clutched at Noel’s waist to keep himself from launching across the table to punch the Archangel in the face. “You stay the fuck away from him.”
“Watch your tone.” Gabriel glowered, his hand flexing on Malachi’s shoulder in support. “You got off lightly for your unwarranted attack in the spring. Do not test our mercy.”
“Unwarranted?” Gideon puffed his chest, preparing for battle, but Michael intervened. Again.
“Lay aside the bad blood between you,” he scolded. “We are all on the same side.”
“We all want Riley to come home,” Uriel added, his young face scrunched in sorrow.
Fuck, just hearing Riley’s name made Jai’s heart shriek in agony. He ducked his head in submission and massaged his chest.
Th-Thump, th-thump, th-th-thump.
They were right. He hated Malachi, didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him, but he wouldn’t allow his pride to stand in the way. If Malachi was finally going to make himself useful, even if it was for his own glory in the end, Jai would accept it. But he’d be watching the slimy Archangel like a fucking hawk.
“How soon can you have your men ready?” Michael asked.
“We can move out by the end of the afternoon.” Malachi waited a second for authorization, but when no one spoke again, he dipped his chin purposefully. “I’ll make arrangements.”
As he rushed from the room, Malachi pulled out his phone, his fingers flying over the screen. Jai tracked his every step, and he must have felt Jai’s gaze because he paused at the door. Malachi lifted his head and stared right at him. That smug grin returned, and he puckered his lips and blew Jai a kiss.
Fucker.
Gideon and Gabriel sniped at each other, and Jai retreated to escape the bickering. He found solace in the back of the room where there was just enough space for him to pace. The marble wall was cool against his forehead, his skin too hot. He massaged his pec over his withering heart as guilt and desperation mixed into a toxic cocktail in his gut.
Jai pictured the sorrow in Riley’s eyes as he climbed into his lap. Riley’s wild audacity as he begged. The way he gazed into Jai’s eyes as their sweat cooled.
He’d been saying goodbye. How did Jai not see it?
Pressing his forehead harder against the wall, he heaved a sigh that sounded more like a sob as a headache bloomed at his temple. Good. He deserved the pain, relished the agony searing his back and stabbing his lungs. This was his fault. He should have known, should have seen. But he hadn’t because he’d been too distracted thinking with his fucking dick!
Riley knew he was leaving, and what did Jai do to stop him? He took his fucking virginity! What kind of sick asshole did that make him?
Riley’s tree coiled and cinched, and the muscles lining Jai’s spine seized. He gritted his teeth as he begged them to relax. His heart felt like it was being strangled, crushed in a trash compactor, and roasted over a fire all at once.
He couldn’t pretend anymore. There was something wrong with him. As impossible as it was, he was sick; he was dying. He could feel it in his bones. And Riley was the only thing that could save him.
Illogical. Irrational. Insane.
Something hot and wet trickled down Jai’s cheek, and he captured the tear on his index finger. He stared at the droplet with wide eyes. He never cried, not really. Yet another tear chased the first as a wave of nausea rolled through him.
Maker in Heaven, what was this?
“Jai.” A voice whispered through his mind, so soft he barely heard it. He spun in a circle, searching the room for a face he knew he wouldn’t see as fear arrested his heart and squeezed. He was losing his fucking mind. “Jai.”
“Riley?” Jai lowered himself to a crouch as Riley’s voice echoed through his veins, calling his name, and he clamped his hand over his ears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Riley’s voice taunted him, punishment for his weakness, for his mistakes, and something inside him broke. Wallowing in misery that wasn’t fully his, Jai curled into the fetal position and sealed his mouth shut, suffering in silence.
But inside, he was screaming. And somewhere deep within the recesses of Jai’s soul, Riley screamed with him.
Th-Thump, th-thump, th-th-thump.
Chapter Two
“Your Secondaries are waiting for you.” The Cherub waved him forward, and Gideon rose from his chair.
Nerves clenched his stomach, sending nausea through his system, but he forced his feet to follow the slender male. His Secondaries. It was a strange thought.
These weren’t the first Secondaries he’d worked with, but they were the first pair that had been created and trained specifically with Gideon in mind. It filled Gideon with pride and something akin to terror.
He’d followed their training, their progress since their creation. But he had yet to be properly introduced. It was better this way, to allow them the space to learn and grow before the weight of their responsibilities were truly felt.
When they’d opened their eyes for the first time, he’d been there, watching through a magical portal called a two-way mirror. Gideon was never good with new technologies, even when Cherubim took the time to try and explain it. He simply believed them when they said they were on the brink of discovering new things.
Apparently, there would come a day when candlelight would no longer be needed to light up the night. The humans wouldn’t discover it for another sixty years, they said, but the angels were close.
Gideon didn’t understand, but he would adjust and evolve as he’d always done. It was the only way to survive.
As he trailed after the Cherub, bile coated his throat. He felt foolish being this nervous, but it wasn’t every day he would meet the pair he’d watched from afar for so many decades. He knew them, even if they didn’t know him, except by name and the unfortunate infamy of his past.