That’s also when she realized that things had to change. No longer did she have the luxury of living for herself anymore. Chantell could no longer be selfish and think of only her needs, her desires.
Having a child would change everything. Although she loved Tanner with everything she was and ever would be, she was no longer willing to live this half-life. He either had to be all in, or he had to let her go. There could be no other option.
“Tanner, I do trust you. Hell, I’ve trusted you for over half my life. But can you blame me for how I felt?” She tried to pull out of his arms, but his hold tightened.
“Stop pulling away from me. Physically and emotionally,” he barked.
“I’m still mad at you,” she mumbled.
“Then get glad real fucking quick.” He stood quickly, coming to his full height, his arms wrapped around her waist. “I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be upset. I know what the fuck I’ve asked of you, okay? I get it. But I’m not going to keep apologizing for something we both agreed to. If you want to change the rules, then you talk to me first. You don’t throw me out of the home we’ve shared for years. You don’t cut me off from you and shut me down every time I try to talk to you. You don’t get to decide this shit on your own. Especially when it involves our child.”
Chantell could hear the anger in his voice. It pissed her off and turned her on at the same time. Damn, she was so fucking gone for this man. How she ever thought walking away from him was an option, she’d never know.
“Well, I thought I had to do something.”
Bending his knees to look into her eyes, “You were supposed to come to me. We handle this shit together. We don’t go off half-cocked and do our own thing. No matter how pissed off you are at me, you come to me when shit is going off the rails. We didn’t come this far for you lose your damn mind, Chantell.”
“You’re gonna stop insulting me. I haven’t lost my mind,” she yelled. “I was worried about our child and the type of life they’d have living in this sorry ass town with these racist ass people. You weren’t moving fast enough.”
“I wasn’t moving…? Chantell, what are you even talking about?”
She attempted to pull away again, but he scooped her up in his arms before sitting on the bed with her on his lap.
“Dammit, woman. Stop trying to escape. We’re having this conversation no matter what you think. Clearly, it’s long overdue if you’re trying to run from me.”
“I wasn’t running,” Chantell denied even though she knew he had a point.
“You were. You were scared and you wanted to protect yourself. From me. From us. As if I’d let that shit happen.”
Laughter bubbled up inside her. Okay, fine. Maybe she’d been a little afraid. Who wouldn’t be? Looking at him, she saw his lips thinned in frustration, his brow creased in that way it does when he’s upset and can’t express himself. Lifting her hands to cradle his strong jaw, she rubbed her fingertips over his upper brow, gazing into the face she’d woken up next to every day for more than six years.
Taking a deep breath, she spoke the words she’d wanted to say for years. The thing she should have told him when she felt herself losing who she was after living a false life. “I won’t be a hidden secret anymore. I don’t want that for my life or our child. Yes, I know why we’ve been doing things this way, but it’s time for us to decide, Tanner. We weren’t thinking this through. Actually, I wasn’t thinking this through when I agreed to this arrangement.”
Tanner’s hands rubbed along her ass, but he stayed silent, listening to her words.
“If you want me, want us, then it’s time. No more hiding. I won’t do it anymore. Lord knows I want to be with you for the rest of my life, loving you until we’re old and gray,” she bent her head and kissed his lips, “being the woman by your side,” she kissed him again, “having your babies.” Just as she went to kiss him again, he stopped her.
“Three.”
Pulling back, she stared at him. “Three what?”
“I want three babies, Chantell. All with your beautiful smile and my green eyes,” he smiled before capturing her lips in a deep, sensual kiss.
He pulled her lower body closer and she could feel his thick length pulsing underneath her. “I know we still have some shit to work through but just know that I heard every word you said. I want this life with you. It’s the only life I’ve ever wanted. I don’t need my father’s money. Ask me to walk away and I will. Tell me you’re with me no matter what and we’ll leave this town tomorrow.”
Tears fell down her face as she shook her head. “I know I said I hate this place, but this is where we grew up. I just hate how we’ve been living and existing. I want to let everyone know you belong to me, and I belong to you. I want to show you off. I want to walk around here proudly, big belly poking out because of your bighead kid growing inside me, and let everyone know you’re my baby daddy.”
His laughter stopped her speech. “Really, Chantell? Baby Daddy?”
Twisting her hips slightly, she pressed down on his thick cock, her channel slickening as they moved to the make-up phase of tonight’s activities. “Yes, because that means everyone will know we fucked. That you fucked me good and long and claimed your woman in the best way possible by knocking her up and getting her pregnant.” She grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and lifted it over her head.
Even during these short weeks of her pregnancy, her breasts had already begun to change and become more sensitive. “You’ve been in our home for more than two hours and you haven’t made love to me yet. What am I supposed to think about that?”
Reaching his hands up to knead her soft flesh, he leaned forward, his lips brushing hers. “I’m trying to show you that I’ve changed. That I’m here with you. That you mean so much more to me than just sex. You’re my future wife. The mother of my child, and any future children we plan to have. Not listening to you—”
“It wasn’t fair of me to say that. You do listen to me. I wasn’t telling you how I really felt.”
Shaking his head, he looked into her chocolate brown eyes. “No, I should have known. It’s my job to know what makes you happy. I failed to do that. It won’t happen again.”
“Well, in that case, do you know what would make me happy right now?”
A wicked smile came over his face, “Sweetheart, I already know.”
Nine
Tanner
Chantell relaxed against him with a sigh and he almost collapsed in relief. She was his again, at least for the night. No, one night would never be enough for him. Placing a hand on either side of her face he raised her head before leaning down to kiss her softly on the lips.
Each kiss was more amazing than the last and each time their lips touched, it turned him inside out. With a groan, he pulled her closer knowing that it would never be enough. In all the years they’d been together, the burning need to possess her had never left him, and now it was driving him to the point of insanity. She’d been trying to leave him. Did she not understand what that would do to him if she ever left?