Maybe some people would call her fat or overweight, or whatever the hell they wanted to say about her pants size, but that had never factored into how she felt about herself. Working out regularly was a part of her normal weekly routine. She visited the gym at her office at least three times a week, walking or jogging on the treadmill, or gliding on the elliptical machine for at least forty-five minutes every visit.
Yes, she was pleasantly plump, but what the hell did that have to do with anything? Did that give another person the right to say anything to her and belittle her without provocation? Standing at five feet nine inches, with golden brown skin and luscious curves, she was more than enough woman for the right man. There were plenty of men who looked at her with lust and desire in their eyes. Every single damn day. And, yes, she ate it up every time. No, a lack of self-esteem or body issues would never have entered the conversation if it were up to her. Clearly, Denise was the one with the issue, not Faith.
Deciding that now was the right time to end this conversation, she addressed the woman sitting across from her, “Denise, let me stop you right there." Teeth clenched tight, her voice was strained as she tried to control herself and not make a scene in a public place. Heat radiated from her body and she knew her eyes must be shooting fire right now.
"I’m not sure what made you think that today was the time and place for you to lecture me on how I look or the shape of my body. How I look is none of your damn business.” She could feel her hands beginning to shake as she barely controlled the urge to smack the smug look off her former friend's face.
A fabricated look of shock and surprise came over the other woman's face as Faith laid into her. The entire facade was completely lost on Faith and it was really quite pathetic. At one time, Faith would have wanted nothing more than to look more like the woman sitting across from her. The long wavy hair, the thin, but shapely body, and the upturned hazel eyes. There was no shame in stating that Denise was a very beautiful woman. But today, she had become someone very ugly on inside. Her once beautiful face had transformed into something quite hideous.
She and Denise had known one another since their college years, when they were both two young freshmen trying to find their way in this big, bad world. Supporting each other through successes, failures, relationships, and long days when only a pint of ice cream would make it better, had become the norm. That was simply what they did for each other. That relationship had meant so much to her as the years had passed, and now, in one afternoon, it had been burned to the ground.
“Faith, girl, what are you talking about? I’m just trying to keep it real. You know how we do.” If she could truly believe her friend’s intentions were real and true, then Faith would have backed off in a heartbeat. But something about the words were hurtful and tinged with a whole lot of cruelty. No, this had definitely been intentional.
“No, Denise. You’re not keeping it real. Why you choose today to tell me how you really feel about me, I’ll never know. But now that I see the real you, all I can say is thank you.” Shaking her head at the feeling of betrayal coursing through her veins, Faith continued, “Thank you for showing me that you had been faking all these years. Thank you for freeing me from a friendship that was as fake as those damn nails on your fingers.”
Denise seemed to finally sense that she had gone too far, “Faith, you’re being entirely too sensitive. You know I’ve always told you that you were kind of big and needed to lose some weight.” Glancing away from Faith for a second, Denise smiled at a handsome man standing across the room at the hostess stand, but his gaze never captured hers.
Faith watched the interaction and noticed that the man seemed to look everywhere but at Denise. There was no interest whatsoever. And then it hit her. Yes, this was about her and the way she looked, but not the way she had initially thought. Understanding hit her like a brick.
Voice raised, she confronted Denise with her newfound knowledge, “Is this because of that bullshit party we went to a few weeks ago?” At the sudden turning of her head to look at Faith, the truth of her words was confirmed.
Faith continued, unable to hold the words back, “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re coming at me with claws bared because of a man? A man whom you hardly knew. A man that I had absolutely no interest in.”
Denise’s face suddenly turned ugly with rage and hate as she snarled her next words, “What the fuck ever, Faith! You knew that I was going after him, but you just had to swing your big, fat ass in his direction. I don’t even know why I brought you to that party anyway. You weren’t even invited.”
“What is that supposed to mean,” she questioned. Had she ever really known this person at all?
“It means I only brought you with me out of pity. Did you not see the people in the room?” Snidely, she looked at Faith with a look akin to disgust, “You were clearly out of your league. I have no idea why a man would be interested enough in you to spend two hours talking to you at a party full of beautiful women. You would never fit into his world and men like that only want women like you for a booty call. An experience. Nothing more.”
Damn, this was some cold shit. “I never knew you at all, did I? All these years, you thought you were doing me a favor by being my friend? Did you really think I needed you to help my self-image?” Pausing for a second to get her bearings, Faith started to laugh. She laughed at all the time she had wasted on trying to be a good friend. She laughed about the utter gall of the woman sitting in front of her.
She was jealous. The vitriol coming out of her mouth could only be explained by that one undeniable fact. Laughing harshly at the utter stupidity of her former friend, she noticed the looks and glances from the other patrons of the restaurant. Sitting across from her with crossed arms, Denise's body was tense and stiff. She seemed baffled by what was going on, and Faith almost felt pity for her.
Her laughing slowly came to a halt and she wiped her eyes. Steeling her voice, she spoke to Denise as her friend for the last time, “How about this, from this point forward, you focus on you and I will focus on me.” Gathering her purse that had fallen to the side during their argument, she prepared to leave the restaurant and return to the office. This lunch had turned out to be a very bad idea. “You have let your jealousy ruin a friendship that lasted for more than fifteen years. What you did today was petty and spiteful, and I will never forget what you said to me. If you see me on the street, keep on walking. From this point forward, we are strangers. Keep your distance.”
Standing up from the table, she dug into her purse, pulled out some bills from her wallet, and threw them onto the table. “I may have a few extra pounds on me, but I know who and what I am. I will never allow envy or jealousy to turn me into an ugly person. Too bad you never learned that lesson.”
Walking away with her head held high, Faith exited the restaurant and breathed in the crisp air of the nation’s capital. She loved living in Washington, DC. There was no other place like it and she loved the feel and pace of the city. The diversity of the people walking around her was welcomed. Various shades of skin color, some in suits, others in jeans, tall, short, skinny and not-so-skinny, and people from every walk of life.