Oh no.
Oblivious, Val continued berating me. “Is it because your loyalties are shifting, or because I’m still of use to you?”
My shoulders hunched, and I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes as if reining in a tirade. “I’m already risking my life by walking in front of a firing squad tomorrow. If that doesn’t answer your question, then you can go fuck yourself. Find somebody else to insult. I’m going to bed.” In a flurry of movement, I stood, wiping my hands on my shorts.
Val’s voice was sharp and loud. “Sit down.”
“I prefer to stand, thanks.”
Was that a glint of approval in his eyes? I couldn’t be sure because as quickly as it appeared it, it was gone. “Suit yourself.” Refilling his glass, he strode toward me, one step at a time, until he stood in front of me, staring at me as I stared back.
That was when I saw it.
The last time we met in a stash house in Houston, I’d won. I looked Valentin Carrera in the eye and recounted all the ways I’d trapped him in my web. I was too busy gloating to realize I’d been staring into a mirror.
The war raging inside my head radiated to my fists, and I clenched them by my side. Whether he took it as a sign of insolence or not, it was Val who finally broke the silence.
“I took a chance in allowing you to come here, against my better judgment. Against multiple better judgments. And it wasn’t only to draw information out of you.”
I needed air. Slumping my ass against the back of his overpriced couch, I spread my arms wide, forming a tight grip on the leather. It was probably bad etiquette. Like I gave a shit.
“I’m listening.”
He let out a tired sigh, his iron mask slipping. “Adriana, you’re my sister. When Eden brought me the proof Brody found out about you, I didn’t know if you’d ever accept who you were. Even if you did, I had my doubts we could repair what has been broken for twenty-four years.”
Why did everything always circle back to Eden? I glanced at Val, the words sitting on the tip of my tongue. But as much as I longed to say them, I swallowed them. Today I suffered alone. Tomorrow, I made no promises.
Instead, I offered an alternate truth. “You have no idea what it’s like to suddenly find yourself alone in the world without a damn person to care if you live or die.”
“Actually, I do.”
“What?”
He shifted his weight, his eyes not quite meeting mine. “I came to Houston to get away from our father, Adriana. As far as I was concerned, he was dead long before he took his last breath. But the damage had been done. He succeeded in turning me into the same heartless bastard he’d been. So, I lived in isolation.”
“To protect yourself?”
His laugh made my skin crawl. “No, to protect everyone else. Alejandro Carrera created a beast, and it feasted on the pain of others. It controlled me. It smelled fear and hungered to hear their screams.” Palming the back of his neck, Val turned away, pacing the room as he spoke. “I’m not a good man, Adriana. I know a seat in hell awaits me, for the things I’ve done. But that beast?” He shook his head, his hand slipping from his neck to the collar of his black button up shirt. “It wasn’t just criminal,” he said, unbuttoning the first two buttons. “It was demonic. It craved the blood of the innocent.”
“What did you do?” I had to know because the beast he spoke of was an entity grown and cultivated by the very culture of a life centered around death. I knew because I fought the same one.
He dragged his hand across his mouth. “I did the only thing I could do. I starved it. I built a fortress of solitude around myself, and I still felt it clawing at my chest.”
“But how did you beat it?”
“Beat it?” His lips twisted in a sardonic smile, and he huffed out a breath. “It’s still with me. You can’t slay a dragon when you’re the one breathing its fire.”
“But how—”
“Eden.” The moment the word is out of his mouth, his whole demeanor changed. “She crashed into my life and refused to let me shut her out. She was the first person to look the beast in the eye and tell it to go fuck itself.”
“You really love her, don’t you?” It was the same question I asked Brody.
“Love her?” Val dipped his chin, a piece of midnight black hair escaping his slicked back style. “I refuse to live without her.” Raking his hands through his hair, he forced the errant chunk back in line. “You’ll find someone who won’t run from your beast too, Adriana.”
Not in this lifetime. That took trust, and trust took time, and that was something I didn’t have to offer.
“Is that all?”
Val stiffened, the brother fading as the ruthless king reared his head. “No. I want to discuss what’s expected of you on your trip to Guadalajara.”
“Ah, yes, where I prove my worth.” I rocked back on my heels and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Well, let’s hear it.”
“I don’t have to tell you what the Muñoz Cartel has done to our family in the past. Another cartel war not only weakens our hold on our ports and distribution channels, it causes unnecessary bloodshed I don’t need. Whoever is restructuring your former soldiers is good, I’ll give him that. I’ve had my best men and associates pulling intel and they’ve come up with nothing.”
“And they won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
I considered a straightforward answer, but having the upper hand felt too good. Plus, I wanted to push his buttons a little just to see how he’d react. “Because I know how these men think. Muñoz soldiers care nothing about order and protocol. Your wife murdered their leader, and your lieutenant exposed their queen as a fraud. They’re blind ants in a constant state of anarchy who’d follow the great and powerful Oz if he promised to avenge what they lost.” Emboldened, I poked a finger against his chest. “Let me be clear. His name is Ignacio, but it could be Francois for all they care.”
Val’s face darkened. “You need to back up and remember who you’re talking to.”
“There he is.” I smirked. “The real Valentin Carrera. The one who hates me. Nice to finally meet you, sir.”
“Dios mío, would you stop being so fucking dramatic,” he growled, batting my hand off his chest. “I don’t understand some of the things you’ve done, but you’re my sister, Adriana. I don’t hate you.”
“Your wife hates me.”
“Eden is protective, that’s all.” He stared at me as if those five words wiped the slate clean.
They didn’t.
“We had quite the chat earlier. Did she tell you that? The one where she barged into Brody’s room to accuse me of murdering her family.”
“Didn’t you?” It wasn’t a question.
“Sure, take her side.”
Val chuckled on his way back to the bar. “You two are more alike than either of you will admit. Both of you were deceived by the one person who was supposed to always protect you. You both lost your brothers to a war that should’ve never escalated to the point it did. You’re both headstrong, stubborn women with too much pride and not enough tolerance. But mostly, you’re both survivors.”