The guilty were always the first to announce someone else's sins. Every one of them spent the last four years turning a blind eye. Now, it was too late for forgiveness.
Instinct made me pull away, forcing a much-needed distance between us. The space lifted the pressure on my chest, and I took a breath for the first time since she sat down. Unfortunately, one was all I got as she pulled out a black clutch and placed it next to me.
“Are you sure about this?” I whispered.
“Why would I lie?”
“The same reason everyone does. Greed. Money. Power.”
She gave a slight nod. “All good reasons, but this is a hard limit for the most corrupt of hearts.”
“Well, I suppose morality does grow in the most barren of fields.”
“Watch it.” Her casual tone thickened. “Stone throwing isn’t the smartest move for a woman who’s already broken two of the ten commandments.”
Five, but who’s counting.
“Nice hat.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Thanks.”
“Who are you trying to hide from—them or yourself?”
The hairs prickled on the back of my neck. She intended to prove a point, and it worked.
“Don’t forget your purse when you leave.” Her full lips parted, flashing a brilliant smile that had kissed both the devil and an angel. “I’m out of this now. It’s all on you. I’m washing my hands.”
I swallowed hard. “I’ve changed my mind. I can’t do this.”
Out of patience, she grabbed my arm. “You can’t puddle jump morality, Leighton. You’re either all in or all out. Ever heard of an eye for an eye?”
“Ever heard of eternal damnation?”
Her wink was deadlier than her smile. “Signed that contract a long time ago.”
She left before I could say another word. It was just as well. Carrying on a conversation while trying not to vomit wasn’t the easiest task. I’d learned long ago that truth and justification made deadly lovers.
Hugging the clutch to my chest, I stood with its imprint burning into my skin. Every step I took felt like my feet were encased in concrete, and just as my fingers touched the brass handle on the wooden door, I paused. A heavy weight settled on my shoulders, as if God, Himself tried one last time to hold me back, warning me that once outside, His protection would be lost to my own twisted need for revenge.
An eye for an eye.
As soon as the thought filled my head, the pressure released, and my feet moved on their own. Once the doors closed behind me, my heart beat again for the first time since stepping inside the sanctuary. At that moment, I knew the darkness had claimed me.
Destiny was an intriguing concept. I’d always condemned the acts of those around me, standing on the side of the righteous and winged. However, maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe the ones I loved suffered because I’d refused to look in the mirror and accept the truth.
I’d spent my life running from monsters when I was one of them all along.
Chapter One
Leighton
San Marcos, Texas
Hamsters running in a caged wheel that went nowhere.
After sitting on a concrete bench for two hours, that’s what the flurry of activity in front of me resembled. Day after day, the students of Texas State University zigzagged across the quad without a care in the world.
Same routine. Same mundane worries.
My dad used to come home from work with tales of the precinct’s revolving door of hamsters—stupid criminals getting caught committing the same crimes. Watching the parade of uselessness, I realized criminals and ignorant college students only had a few degrees of separation.
Eventually, time got away from me, or maybe I subconsciously put off the inevitable. Regardless, before I knew it, darkness had blanketed the sky, comforting me like an old friend. Most women would be afraid to sit alone outside with nothing but thoughts as a shield, but I wasn’t most women.
Tipping my head back, I stared up at the night, my mind wandering back to a time where I believed in wishing on stars. I didn’t try to fight thoughts of Matty this time. It was useless. The more I tried to give my heart to Luis, the more it ached for the man who destroyed it. Especially on nights like this. The dark had always been our secret. It shielded us from worlds neither of us belonged in.
Knocked out of my private thoughts, I gasped as a middle-aged man stood over me in a wrinkled gray suit that had seen better days. “Can I help you?”
The wind blew his mass of salt and pepper hair as he ran his finger across the dimple in his chin. “It’s not safe for a young woman to be out at night all alone.”
“Security poles are everywhere.” I waved behind me. “I think I’m safe.”
“Are you sure about that?”
His remark caught me off guard, and something about him unnerved me. “You’re right,” I said, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind my ear while sliding to the opposite end of the bench. Standing, I stepped backward and slung my worn backpack over my shoulder. “I’m late. People are expecting me.”
He grabbed my elbow, his breath smelling of stale cigarettes and coffee. “I’d be careful if I were you.”
Warnings weren’t made to be ignored, so I ran hard and fast until I’d slammed the car door.
It was close to nine-thirty when I finally found a parking spot nestled between two huge overflowing garbage dumpsters.
God, I hated coming here. Not that I lived in the most affluent neighborhood, but the one Luis lived in usually headlined the six o’clock news. I’d contemplated doing this at my place but decided coming to him was the better option. I still had to stop by my grandparents’ house, and I was unsure of his reaction. An easy exit strategy worked in my favor.
My lukewarm feelings weren’t the only reason for my decision to end our lackluster relationship. The situation between Luis and me had gone from bad to worse. Not that either of us were ever truly invested, but he’d changed in the last few weeks. Both his recent talent for disappearing and the strange late-night phone calls were enough for me to walk away.
Or maybe I’d just been looking for an excuse. Either way, I wanted out.
With my knuckles inches from the door, I paused mid-knock as muffled voices seeped through the peeling green paint. They were low but heated as they faded deeper into the apartment. My logical side screamed at me to run, but my impulsive side ignored it and turned the doorknob with a shaking hand.
Three steps brought me into the living room and four more drew me into the hallway toward the kitchen. My insides turned to ice while a thin layer of sweat trickled down my temple. I tried telling myself the fear I felt was unfounded, and the way I hid in the corner was ridiculous. Shaking my head, I’d just pushed off the wall when the sickening sound of shattering bone ricocheted throughout the apartment.
Get out. Get out. Get out.
My brain screamed at me in warning, but my feet remained cemented to the ground.
“What do you mean it’s not done?” a heavy Spanish accent roared.
“I need more time.”
Luis. I’d recognize his slightly accented voice anywhere. Although hearing it frantic and desperate did nothing to calm my panic.