That’s it. That’s fucking it.
Jerking the wheel, I pulled off a darkened side street and threw the SUV into park. Bracing my forearm against her seat, I leaned in so close our noses touched. “Let’s get one thing straight. You don’t know the whole story. You never did.”
Chapter Twelve
Leighton
Some claimed silence was golden, but after sitting across from the fuming man beside me, it seemed more blood red. Mainly, because I was about to crawl out of my skin wanting to know what he meant by, “You don’t know the whole story.”
I didn’t dare ask, though. Eventually, Mateo gave up waiting for a response and pulled the Tahoe back into traffic, focusing on the road with a tightly clenched jaw until we reached our destination.
My mind had become a jumbled beehive of activity, and by the time Mateo unlocked the door to the familiar townhouse, I was a house of cards ready to crumble. All it took was one look inside, and I burst into tears.
“Hey.” Mateo’s hands covered my shoulders and turned me around as tears blurred my vision. Through the haze I saw him dip his knees to meet me at eye level. “What’s wrong?”
I managed a laugh. “What’s not wrong?” Still trapped in his hold, I motioned around us. “You’re staying at my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s place—who’s presumed to be dead, by the way. I’m being blackmailed to bring down an entire cartel, which includes my brother. Oh, and a few days ago, I shot and killed a man. But most of all, after all this I realize how much I miss—” catching myself, I bowed my head and sighed, “—how much I miss home.”
The corners of Mateo’s mouth turned down as he stood to his full height. Releasing one of my shoulders, he closed the door behind him. “Let’s try to put some of this in perspective. One, Eden isn’t dead. She’s alive and well and due in July with the son of the man you’re trying to bring down.” I opened my mouth for a rebuttal, but he held up his hand. “Your second problem is the one we have to focus on. As for killing Luis, did you fear for your life?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Then you’re justified in what you did.” Mateo caught my chin just as I lowered my eyes to the floor and gently lifted my face to meet his unwavering stare. “Do you feel guilty?”
I waited only seconds before answering. “For choosing my life over his? No.”
Regardless of what Alex told me, or what any of the Carrera Cartel had to say, no one but me looked down the barrel of Luis’s gun, and no one but me had a split second to make that call.
His large palm still gripped my shoulder, and my hand shook as I squeezed his fingers. Electric shocks jolted up my arm, but I forced myself to maintain the contact, lifting our entwined hands and settling them between us. He watched every movement, his eyes never straying. It was as if once he looked away, the moment would evaporate.
I wouldn’t let that happen. This moment meant everything.
For years, I’d held onto the belief that he’d walked away from me without a second thought. I’d tried my best to hate him for the events that led up to his abandonment and the mind games that plagued me afterward. However, what he’d said to me at Brody’s left me starving for the truth. I had to know, even if what I found out left me in more jagged pieces than before.
“What did you mean when you said I didn’t know the whole story?”
“Now’s not the time for this, Leighton.” Mateo let out a heavy sigh and pulled away from me, severing our brief connection.
He could pull away all he wanted, but I wasn’t backing down. “Really? Where else do we have to go?”
His eyes narrowed. “You want to hear the truth?”
The sudden predatory danger radiating off him shook me. I was honestly confused if I did or didn’t, but I stood my ground. “I think I deserve it.”
Mateo let out a sardonic laugh. “You think this is about what you deserve?” He stalked toward me, backing me up until my spine bumped against the hard marble of the kitchen island. “What exactly do you think happened that night, Star? You think I just didn’t feel like having the perfect life with the perfect girl and decided to piss it all away?”
“I—I don’t...” My words broke off and stuck to the inside of my throat like molasses. All I could breathe in was the scent of his leather jacket as he planted a hand on either side of me. We were so close that if he took a deep breath, his black T-shirt would rub against my tank top and judging from the outline of the six-pack hugging the fabric, I wouldn’t survive the impact.
My gaze still traced the lines indenting his shirt when his hands settled on my hips, and I found myself being lifted into the air. My lips had just started forming the word “no” when my ass landed on the cold marble of the island with a hard slap, and Mateo slid in between my open knees.
“Have a seat, Star,” he said as if I weren’t already in place. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t speak. The deadly look in his eyes would’ve been enough to silence me. “What I have to say may knock you off that pedestal you’ve put yourself on.”
My chest heaved as he wedged himself tightly in between my legs.
“You think I sacrificed you? You immediately thought the worst and damned me without knowing the hell I went through. Get ready, little lamb. You’re about to find out the meaning of real sacrifice.”
Chapter Thirteen
Mateo
Four Years Ago
I paced outside Emilio’s office, the loud laughter of the departing drunks in the cantina adding to my anxiety. I wished he’d get the hell off the phone and let me get this over with. A few minutes later, the smell of a freshly lit Cuban cigar wafted into the hallway letting me know my chance had arrived.
“Cortes,” he yelled, my name garbled around the cigar clenched in between his teeth. “Trae tu culo aqui.” Get your ass in here.
Before he could change his mind, I pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. “Sí, jefe.”
His thick mustache circled the overstuffed cigar as he puffed and stared at me, his dark eyes narrowed in curiosity. “I need you to do a run for me tonight.”
Shit. Emilio’s runs either involved putting a bullet in some asshole’s head or unloading a new shipment and distributing it to our street dealers. Thankfully, in the last four months, I’d risen up the ranks and no longer sold on the street. Still, I didn’t have time to follow an order tonight.
Or any night from this point forward.
“Can’t one of the other guys handle it?” I asked, making sure to keep my voice even.
“You got somethin’ better to do?”
I shoved my hands in my pockets so I didn’t take a swing at him. “I have an appointment I can’t cancel.”
“Mateo, when I found you stealing change on the street, how old were you—thirteen?” Emilio’s scarred face was expressionless, although a hint of smugness glimmered in his coal black eyes.
“Fourteen, jefe.”