When Levi made a happy squeak between them, Matt took him from her arms and held him to his chest, turning toward the large window. “Hey, Levi. You won’t remember this parade, but it’s the first of many. Uncle Max will be up front.”
Carly moved to stand next to him and he put his arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze.
“I can’t stay long but I wanted to check in on you two.” He turned to her. “Sorry about this morning. I promise I’ll let the doctor know what happened.”
He’d keep that promise, too. He didn’t want to fuck up what he and Carly had. She took on a lot when she took on him. And just like he said in the note, he was grateful as fuck that she hung on through his rough times. Every single one.
She ran her fingers over Levi’s dark downy hair, tears still in her eyes. “Thank you for doing everything you’ve done to work on getting better. For doing everything in your power to make it so we could bring a child into our life.”
Matt hoped that his son’s eyes stayed blue like Autumn’s, so they’d be like his. “I know how much it meant to you. I needed to do it for you. I didn’t want you to regret never having the child you so desperately wanted. Regret giving up that dream because you married a broken man. I’ve only wanted you to be happy.”
“Same here,” she whispered, turning toward him and cupping his cheek. “I love you, Matt. And I would have given up that dream to keep you.”
Now there was a damn sting in his eyes. Must be the forced hot air from the salon’s heating system. “Knowing you would’ve made that sacrifice for me was what made me work harder. I didn’t want you to do that. I think it would’ve eventually killed me knowing I destroyed your dream of being a mother.”
“I just feel we owe Autumn so much. I extended the invite to her for tomorrow, but I doubt she’ll come.”
“That shouldn’t be surprising. Plus, I think Sig’s worried about her leaving the farm right now. Things are still very fresh for everyone involved.”
“Thank goodness everything turned out okay. Let’s hope it stays that way.”
He ran a knuckle down his wife’s damp cheek. “It will. This kid’s a Bryson. He’s got an army behind him.”
Carly laughed. “That’s true. When I ran into Judge outside, he said he’d step in at any time.”
Matt didn’t need an MC stepping in to take care of his family. He understood why Judge would offer, but it was unneeded.
“I need to go.” He might go have a word with the club’s Sergeant at Arms. Just a little reminder that Matt had his family covered.
She wiped at her face. “Can you give me a minute to run to the restroom?”
“Yeah.”
As Carly rushed toward the back of the salon, the bell jingled above the door and his mother walked in.
“There’s my baby boy with his baby boy,” she cried, her face all lit up.
“Ma, there’s only one baby in this place. It’s Levi.”
His mother came over and pinched his cheek anyway, making him pull back. “You’ll always be my baby.”
“There are plenty of grandchildren you can smother... I mean baby.”
Mary Ann whacked his arm lightly. “I’ll never stop smothering my sons.”
Matt groaned.
“I’m so happy that your life is coming together, Matt. That you created your own family. You are my baby... But, truthfully,” she took a shaky breath, “you scared me for the longest time.”
“I know.” For fuck’s sake, now he’d upset the two most important women in his life. He seemed to be an expert at it. It was not a skill he was proud of.
Every time he reenlisted his mother took it hard. No, not just hard, it devastated her. She couldn’t understand why he did it, but Matt hadn’t been ready to deal with civilian life. He had joined the Marines and became a Raider for a reason, and he struggled with leaving an incomplete job behind. But now, after years of therapy, he realized that job would never be done. There’d always be another conflict, then the next. He couldn’t fix things over there and he needed to stop letting that burden, that pressure, eat at him.
“I’m not scared anymore.”
Thank fuck for that. “I’m sorry I worried you.” He closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment. He’d avoided this conversation for a long time. Too long. But now he had a son, he better understood the love between a parent and a child.
He couldn’t avoid it anymore and he owed his mother that much. “I know you think I chose serving over there over you. Over our family. I know that hurt you. I’m sorry I did that to you. It wasn’t my intention. My intention was to do my service like every other Bryson and follow in Pop’s and Granddad’s footsteps. It was what was expected. But when I came home, when I went through the police academy, I felt like it was fake. It wasn’t real. War was real. People dying was real. Driving around a quiet town, going to calls of cats caught in a tree weren’t. It all felt meaningless, and those incidents were just unimportant. I felt that what I had done over there was more important. It was real.” He had a hard time explaining how he felt, like his life in Manning Grove wasn’t important, anyone else could step in and do it, but his life overseas gave him meaning.
His heart knew it was wrong, but his brain said otherwise.
“It broke you. And that broke my heart.” Her eyes were brimming.
He didn’t want to see his mother cry. Fuck. “I’m sorry.”
A noise had Matt turning his head. Carly stood at the back of the salon, crying, a hand covering her mouth. She dropped it as she came forward and said, “This is supposed to be a happy day!”
His mother squeezed his arm, then got up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry if I ever pressured you boys to get married and give me grandchildren. I thought that was why you stayed away. I should’ve known you three would settle down once you met the perfect partners. And you did. I couldn’t be happier with the women you’ve chosen. And now?” She glanced at Levi in his arms with a soft smile. “I have what I’ve always hoped for.”
“And you still have Pop.”
Mary Ann laughed past her tears. “Yes, I still have him.” She turned to Carly. “If you need me, yell.”
“I will.”
“I’m going to walk Ma out.” He planted a kiss on Levi’s forehead and placed him back into the stroller. He pressed a kiss to Carly’s lips and whispered, “I’ll see you later.”
With a last look at his family, he walked his mother out the door.
Chapter Seven
Teddy & Adam
Teddy couldn’t control his foot tapping nervously on the sidewalk. But it was better than chewing his nails down to the quick. Plus, if he did that, all he would do is get a mouthful of blech since he was wearing leather gloves.
He wanted to feel better after his conversation—and hot sex—with Adam early this morning, but something still niggled at him. He needed to talk to his best girlfriend.
Where the hell was Amanda, anyway?