I’m going now, you’ll be on my mind.
‘Cause, Baby, you’re one of a kind.
I gave you my heart, it’s forever yours.
The hardest thing I’ve ever done was to walk out that door.
It’s time for me to say goodbye.
It’s time for me to get high.
It’s time for me to party all night.
It’s time for me to stand in the spotlight.
And he recorded it. The Dear Jane song, though he titled it It’s Time. Now it’s my turn.
I don the sexy outfit Lana insists I wear. As I zip up the second knee-high boot, then stand in front of the body-length mirror on the door, I grin. Lucian’s never met this side of me before; he left before this side emerged. His loss. But tonight, he’s only going to get a taste, and I’m going to walk away, leaving him thirsty.
Lucian
“Big fucking crowd,” Justin mumbles as we watch Weathered, a new and upcoming band, blast out their latest hit.
I nod. “They’re good.”
“Not as good as we are,” I hear someone say behind me. I turn, and there stands Xander Mackenzie, the drummer for the bestselling band Falling Down.
“What’s up, man?” I ask, doing the fist-bump thing.
“Nothin’ much. Thought for sure you’d be the headliners,” Xan tells me.
“Nah. Your latest is kicking our ass. We’re still working on some new stuff,” I reply.
Jesse, Ben, Kennedy, and Ethan walk up, fist bump, and keep on walking.
“Gotta go,” Xan tells me with a half hug and a thump on the back.
“Damn,” Justin whines. “No hot chicks.”
I chuckle. “They’re all paired up except Kennedy.”
“Fuck that,” Justin tells me with a shudder.
“You say that now, but one day there’s going to be a girl who you’re going to want to keep.”
He shrugs. “Maybe, but until then, I’m gonna enjoy my share of the fair ladies who wish to share my bed.”
I roll my eyes. A new chick every other night, sometimes every night. It’s gotten old. I’m a shitty match for anyone, especially the one I left behind. Every time I tried to contact her, she changed her number or moved. The last time she moved, she moved somewhere I can’t find her. She was from SoCal at one time, but if she’s still here, I don’t know where. It’s impossible.
“We’re up next,” Kael tells me. He’s our rhythm guitarist. His twin brother Gage was our lead guitarist right up until a couple months ago when we had a freak bus accident that shattered his hand. Now we’ve got Meggie Melody, formerly of Blush. Our drummer chose the family life right after the crash, so we picked up Meggie’s other half, Trace Styx. We’ve been working well together, and we’re pretty psyched to get into the studio.
I hop up and down, shaking out my hands and fingers, then lean my head to the left and right. I bend forward and reach for my toes, then stand up straight and twist side to side. It’s my pre-show ritual. I don’t know why I do it exactly or how I got started, but it both amps me up and focuses me.
“It’s hot as fuck,” I tell Kael as he hands me a water bottle. I snag my wrist bands and tie my bandana over my head, securing it in the back. Tonight we’re gonna sweat our balls off, and the bandana will stop it from getting in my eyes.
“Where’s Tabitha?” Justin asks. I just shrug. “What’s the point of having an assistant if they’re not going to actually assist? She should be fixing that shit for you, so you know it won’t come off.”
“I’m a big boy. I don’t really need her to tie my do-rag.”
Justin snorts, and I roll my eyes.
“Who the hell came up with that name?” Trace asks as he steps behind me.
“Who cares?” Meggie asks.
I point at her. “Exactly. This is why you’re my favorite.”
Trace side-eyes me, and Justin snorts. “We all know I’m your favorite.”
Meggie snorts in reply.
“The crew is kicking ass for this one. Setup hasn’t even taken the full thirty,” Kael informs me.
“Good, good. We can go on a little early. Sing an extra song.”
We put our hands together. “Let’s rock this joint!” We holler together and make our way to the stage.
Aria
Lana elbows me. “Here they come.”
“I can see.” My stomach is up in my throat, and I’m sweating profusely—it’s not just from the heat. Nerves.
“You okay?” she asks.
I turn to face her, grabbing her arms. “What made me think this was a good idea? I’ve never been good at confrontation. What am I thinking of trying to pull this off? I mean, for real. I should just let it go. Forget about the past instead of focusing on revenge. Right? Right?!” I ask, giving her a shake—or is that just my hands shaking from nerves?
She grabs my shoulders and gives me a jolt. “Snap out of it! You’ve got this!”
I look up at her. Lana’s a tall five-eleven while I’m a mediocre five-three. “Yeah. Yeah. I can do this,” I reply, mustering up all the false bravado I can.
“Well, there he is. Let’s see if he picks you out of a crowd from twenty rows back.”
“Oh, god.” Please no. I want the element of surprise… but even if he spots me out here, I’ll still have that.
“Just sing and dance. Sex it up,” Lana instructs, doing precisely that.
When the music starts, I put earplugs in. I can’t listen to their music without hearing his voice, and hearing his voice sends me into one of two things: Either a rage or a full-on ugly cry. There is no in-between.
I can still feel the beat, and I begin to sway to the music. I close my eyes and begin to dance. Lana grabs my hand, and my eyes open, looking at her. She’s all smiles, in complete bliss, and I smile back. To hell with it. I pull out the earplugs and join her in singing the lyrics.
It’s when the song ends that Lucian commands my attention.
“Hello, LA! How you all doing tonight?” Everyone screams—of course. Lana included. “How did you like Weatherly? They’re the burning up the charts!” More screams. Lucian takes a drink from his water bottle—at least I think it’s water in there. You never know.
“Hey! Do you all know our newest band members?” Screams. “Let me introduce you properly! On lead guitar, we’ve got Meggie Melody!” Meggie raises her hand and bows a bit. “She’s a spitfire, and she can rip on that ax! Show ‘em a little something, Megs.”
Meggie plays a fantastic solo, her fingers flying across the board.
“She’s fucking amazing!” I yell.
Lucian’s head whips around, and he scans the audience.
“Oh shit. Did he hear you?” Lana asks as I duck in behind the dude in front of me.
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t think,” she replies. “Let him see you.” She smirks.
“Not just yet.”
Meggie finishes up, and we all clap and cheer.
“And how about our drummer, Trace Styx!” Cheers and screams. “He’s big, and he’s a wizard on the drum kit. Show ‘em what you got, Styx!” Lucian urges.