The anger had eased enough with Aphrodite’s departure for me to know Persephone was right, but frustration replaced the fury fast. If Ares and Aphrodite were together, fine. But for her to talk about him like he was just some toy, some shiny trophy? Telling him she would only sleep with him when he had his power back was the same as saying she didn’t want him for what he really was, only for his strength. It was cruel. If a man told me he wouldn’t sleep with me unless I had bigger boobs or longer hair or a bigger bank balance, I’d tell him to go fuck himself. Why was Ares letting her treat him this way?
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, hard.
Why did I care?
Whatever it was between me and Ares that made the drums bang and the fire dance was physical. Nothing deeper than that. I had no right at all to get involved. He was a grown-ass man, he didn’t need his freaking honor or heart defended by me. And if Aphrodite was jealous of us spending time together, or whatever it was that had made her go all mighty-goddess-bitch on me, there was nothing I could do about that.
The knowledge that she could call me names and belittle me, and I couldn’t do a thing about that either, bothered me though. Of course it did. She had basically just challenged me to a fight I couldn’t win. That was like offering freaking drugs to an addict. But it wasn’t a real fight. When you won a fight you earned money, respect, a title. You didn’t win a fucking man. That wasn’t how it worked.
I glared into the crowd where she had disappeared, trying to let my anger go. I needed to help Ares win the Trials, catch the escaped demon, and save Joshua. Aphrodite’s love-life and bad fucking attitude was not my problem.
28
Ares
I could feel Bella’s anger as she stared after Aphrodite. Unease was gripping my muscles in a vice-like hold as I watched the Goddess sashay through the crowd.
She knew. I knew that she would sense something if she spoke to me, which was why I had done my best to melt into the shadows since arriving.
But somehow she knew before she even saw my face.
“It’s not like you to play so well with others.”
The voice belonged to my sister, and my stomach sank. “Eris, not now.”
“You know, that lover of yours is going to make Bella’s life a misery if you fight so well with her tomorrow.”
“I have to work with her,” I grunted.
“Not necessarily.”
“You’re suggesting I work against her now?” I turned to Eris, scowling. “Earlier today you yelled at me for draining her power.”
“That’s because you had another fight to complete straight away,” she shrugged, her burgundy gown rippling as her shoulders moved. “Tomorrow is the last one. Drain her all you like.”
“It’s only the last one until the next Lord’s Trial,” I snapped.
“I’m sure she’ll have time to recover before then.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, and she sipped from her glass. “I thought you liked Bella,” I said. “Why are you telling me to do this? She’ll hate me.”
“Ares, I don’t like anyone, you know that. And what’s your problem? You’ve already done it once. Do you like her?”
Eris’ eyes sparkled as she looked into mine.
“I just want my power back.”
“You do like her,” Eris breathed, delight on her face.
“Don’t be stupid.” My eyes flicked to Aphrodite instinctively, and Eris caught the look and snorted.
“Sweetie, last I checked, you two were not exclusive. You know she’s with someone different every night, right? She’s the Goddess of Love, for fuck’s sake.”
Heat and anger burned through my veins at the thought, and I was glad for my helmet hiding my reaction. “Go away, Eris.”
“You’re always saying that to me,” she pouted. “Baby brother, at some point that girl is going to find out just what a monster you really are. May as well get it out in the open now.” She gave me a small, knowing smile, and strode off toward the crowd.
I leaned hard against the column beside me, grinding my teeth. What a gods-awful mess.
For centuries I had shared the bed of the most beautiful being in existence. So why, why, why I had I never felt anything like what I had when Bella kissed me? Why had I never seen fire burn in Aphrodite’s eyes? Why had the drums of war never beat to the rhythm of my racing pulse when Aphrodite kissed me? Because whenever I was with Aphrodite, I was only aware of her. I was never aware of my own feelings or body. I always wanted more of her delight, her pleasure, her satisfaction, only considering my own release later. But with Bella... I’d desired her for my own pleasure, unable to stop myself imagining what it would feel like to be inside her, what her own pleasure would have felt like for me.
I let out an angry hiss. This was untenable. Bella could not be more off limits. The memory of the hurt on her face earlier, her anger with me, made that unfamiliar feeling grip my chest again. The one I believed to be guilt.
I couldn’t tell her why kissing her was such a bad idea. I couldn’t tell her anything, and for the first damned time in my life, I felt guilty.
I tried to rationalize my confused emotions as I watched the party, unwilling to believe they couldn’t be explained. I was the God of War, and as such had an innate appreciation for valor and fighting skill. Bella’s courage and her fire compelled me to respect her. The thrill of adrenaline I had experienced after fighting the Hydra must have combined with that, resulting in my desire for her. The fact that I could taste my own power within her now just made her feel more connected to me than she actually was.
Yes. That was surely all there was to it.
But she felt it too.
Maybe Eris was right. Maybe the best way to end anything we might accidentally have triggered was for me to do the one thing I knew would make her despise me. Show her what a monster I was. Maybe I should use up all of her power again, in the next fight. It would prove to Aphrodite that I didn’t have any allegiance to Bella, and it would ensure Bella would never kiss me again.
The jolt of loss I felt at just thinking about never having my lips so close to hers again only served to strengthen my resolve.
Whatever it was that was causing these feelings had to be stopped.
29
Bella
It was easy to spot the Olympian gods amongst the guests. If they didn’t stand out so much for their sheer aura of power, the many other guests fawning over them would have identified them as special. Once again, I was disappointed not to see Hera. I was desperate to ask about Zeeva, and her interest in me.
Hermes and Dionysus both came to speak to me though. I liked Hermes instantly, his cheerful red beard and hair brightening my mood as soon as he began to speak. He asked me about being human, and where my power came from. When I told him I didn’t know, he shrugged and told me that he couldn’t keep track of his offspring either, and that was one of the many troubles of being immortal. He didn’t look troubled though, and was soon waving cheerfully at me as he left to talk to a woman who was over ten feet tall.
Dionysus, on the other hand, I struggled to talk to at all because his words were so slurred and his accent so odd so that I couldn’t really understand him. In the end a small troupe of silent women with tree-bark skin - just like the girl at the caravanserai - gave me apologetic grins and carried him off.