“I lied—” Charlie’s voice was soft, quiet “—when I said I think of you as a brother.”
Tell him something he didn’t know.
“I’m sorry I slept with Nick,” she said. “It wasn’t fair to you.”
No, it wasn’t, but he was guilty of a far greater wrong by not telling her that he loved her and not telling Nick to back off.
“If I could undo it, I would,” she said. “You don’t have to worry about getting under my skin. You already are.”
A flutter of hope beat inside him. Was she saying what he longed to hear?
Confessions were dangerous; they exposed a person, made them vulnerable.
Charlie would give him some but, some out, an excuse in the end to protect herself. He just had to wait for it.
“Please, look at me,” she said, her tone soft. He didn’t move, and she squeezed his arm. “Aiden...for me, home isn’t a place or a house. It’s you. You’re home for me. I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”
His heart kicked hard in his chest. His first instinct was to look at her, make her say it again while meeting his eyes. But the expectation of disappointment inextricably tied to this miraculous admission from her made him sick. With sadness. With anger. With love.
Lovesick.
Wait for it.
Her voice grew brittle and her hand fell from his arm. “But...”
A lead weight dropped in the pit of his stomach. Everything inside him tensed. Here it comes.
“I can’t give you happily-ever-after. A family. All the things your parents had. I can’t have children.” Her words stalled time, stilled the beating of his heart.
For a nanosecond.
He rolled over and faced her.
She was wrapped in a towel, stripped of all her defenses. Her gaze lifted to his, her eyes pink and her face flushed like she’d been crying in the shower. He read the misery and fear in her unguarded expression, saw the icy bravado melt, and he took her hand in his.
“I had endometriosis. Nothing worked to help, and I had to have a full hysterectomy. I know I’m damaged, and I don’t mean just the surgery. You can have everything you want. A great wife. Kids. The kind of family your parents had. Big and loving and warm. But not with me,” she said, her voice cracking. Tears leaked from her eyes, a pinch of pain between her brows, the strain of sorrow pursing her lips together.
He wiped at her tears with his thumb, slid his palm over her hair, his heart aching for her. For them both.
“I want you to have that,” she said. “You deserve it. More than anyone that I know. Any woman would be lucky to have you and you’ll make a fantastic dad one day. The absolute best.”
Neither of them breathed for what seemed like an eternity.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a whisper.
“I tried. Once, when you took me home for your mom’s funeral.”
He remembered the moment she was talking about. They’d been sitting on the porch, watching his nieces and nephews play in the yard. He’d gone on and on about how much he wanted a big family—four or five kids. To be a good dad like his own father.
His sister had given Charlie her youngest to hold. Charlie held the baby close to her chest, rocking him. He’d imagined marrying her, how beautiful she’d be pregnant, her belly heavy and round, her face glowing, her holding a baby that was a little bit of him and a little bit of her one day on that very porch. He’d envisioned their life together, happy and playful and satisfied, side by side, growing gray and old together.
She’d turned so somber that he’d put his arm around her and waited. For her to share. That was what he did. Gave her space, showed her patience until it hurt. She’d put her head on his shoulder and he’d sensed she’d been close.
“That afternoon on the porch,” he said. “But my brother asked me to go horseback riding. You insisted that I should, and I went with him.”
Charlie nodded. More hot tears streamed down her cheeks.
He’d taken it as a sign of progress when she’d chosen to go home with him, that they were headed to the next level, but he realized he’d been wrong once he got back from riding with his brother. She’d left. Packed and taken a taxi to the airport. Given his family some excuse and had asked them to pass along the message that she’d see him back in San Diego.
He’d been shocked. Confused. Unbelievably hurt. Half tempted to run after her and demand an explanation like a lovesick fool, which he didn’t want to be, and had chalked it up to Charlie being Charlie.
It all made sense now.
Aiden kissed her cheeks and wrapped his arm around her, bringing her in close. Held her tight, soothing her until she stopped crying. “I should’ve gone after you. To the airport. Made you talk to me and hashed it out then and there. It would’ve saved us so much time.” So much grief.
“I’m sorry. You could’ve moved on sooner.”
He pulled her deeper into his arms, cradled her head against his chest. “There is no moving on from you.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” She trembled against him and he held her tighter. “I can’t give you a family. You want kids so badly.”
“I want you more. You’re my family. I love you, Charlie. The only future I want is one with you.”
She shifted away, lifting her head. A tear slid down her cheek as she stared at him, lips parted. “No. You’re supposed to understand. You’re supposed to let me go.”
“I’ll never let you go. I’ll always choose you.”
“Aiden, I won’t deny you—”
He stole her words with his mouth and kissed her.
Chapter Fifteen
His lips brushed over hers in a gentle, sweeping caress that made Charlie’s heart turn over in her chest as he swallowed her objections. The kiss was raw and open and full of honesty.
She wanted Aiden to have the whole world. His greatest desires.
Not to choose her over having the family he wanted.
Aiden dragged his mouth across her cheek, slid his hands into her hair. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Charlie.” He planted kisses along her throat to where her pulse pounded. “Let me love you.” He nipped at the thundering beat in her neck. “Let me love you.” The words sank into her, healing some gaping wound, and he repeated it like a mantra.
A demand.
A call from his soul to hers.
One she could no longer ignore, no longer refuse. Need unfurled inside her. A deep ache entangled with a much deeper longing to be with him in every way. To be his.