I didn’t want to waste time doing full hair and makeup, so I slapped on the bare minimum, pulled my hair out of its tie, gave it a fluff, and slid my feet into my boots. With one last look in the mirror to make sure I looked okay, I started out of my room only to turn back halfway down the hall and retrace my steps.
I’d been contemplating doing the same as my son and packing a toothbrush and a change of underwear in my purse on the off chance tonight went as I was hoping, but I’d gone back and forth on the idea. Now that it was go time, I changed my mind once again, deciding it was better to be safe than sorry.
I grabbed my toothbrush out of the bathroom and rummaged through my underwear drawer for a pair that was sexy enough without going overboard. With that done, I hit the lights and skip-walked to the front door.
Nerves and excitement coursed through me, making me jittery and giddy at the same time. It felt like I’d just chugged a whole pot of coffee.
I whipped open my front door and took a step out only to jerk to a halt at the sight of the man standing on my front stoop.
“Jensen,” I breathed in wonder. “What are you doing here?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jensen
I’d fucked around, spending too damn long pacing my office until I damn near wore a hole in the expensive-as-shit but cool-as-hell rug I’d let Laeth talk me into getting when we were setting everything up before opening.
He and Gage had stayed away the rest of the day, knowing my mood had gone down the drain when Shane walked out.
I knew I needed to get my miserable ass out of there when Willow, our super shy receptionist, had popped in for all of one second to apologize for letting Shane through without an appointment and I bit her head off.
Being a jerk to Willow was as cruel and inhumane as punching a cute little dog in the face, so I packed my shit and went home for the rest of the day—making sure to stop at the reception desk and apologize for being an asshole first. We couldn’t afford for Willow to quit. She might have been shy to the point of painfully awkward, but the woman was a godsend when it came to her work.
She’d graciously accepted and I went home to brood into a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I’d poured myself two fingers before realizing I was repeating the same mistake I’d made all those years ago. I’d let her go back then without making any attempt to fight for her. Drinking myself into a stupor wasn’t going to make any of my problems go away, and it sure as shit wasn’t going to help me get my girl back.
Leaving the whiskey untouched, I snatched up my keys, hopped on my bike, and took off for Shane’s place. As I rode, the wind in my face calmed the storm that had been brewing inside me.
Killing the engine, I swung off my bike and started for the front stoop, taking the rickety steps two at a time. Just as I raised my knuckles to knock, the door swung open and Shane stutter-stepped. “Jensen,” she breathed with wide, surprised eyes. “What are you doing here?”
She was dressed in a different outfit than the one she’d had on earlier. The jeans she was wearing now were practically painted on, accentuating her full hips and long legs. Her coral tank top hugged her like a second skin, dipping lower at the neckline than what she usually wore to show off her incredible tits and an inch and a half of soft, smooth skin between the hem and the waistband of her jeans. Her long hair was down and wild, her minimal makeup made her eyes pop and her plump lips shimmer. She looked like she was heading out for a night on the town.
“You going out with your girls or something?” The question came out a lot gruffer than I’d intended, almost harsh.
“I—what?”
Looking at her now, her outfit making my dick stand at attention, I knew I was losing steam and needed to reel my shit in fast. “Nothing. Look, it doesn’t matter. Can I come in for a minute, there are some things I need to say to you.”
“Oh, uh . . .”
“Please, Shane,” I pleaded. “It’ll only take a minute, and if you want me to leave when I’m done, I will.”
She hesitated for a beat, still looking a little shell-shocked at my sudden appearance. Finally she shook herself out of it. “Y-yeah. Sure. Come on in,” she mumbled, stepping aside so I could enter.
“Brantley here?”
“No, he’s with Caro and Scooter tonight,” she answered while tossing her purse onto the couch and crossing her arms over her chest. It wasn’t a casual stance, it looked more like she was trying to hold herself together. “So, what do you need to say?”
There really was no other option than to just rip the Band-Aid off, so that was what I did. “I’m still in love with you,” I announced, drawing a gasp from her. “I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen, and I never stopped. I came back to this town because I needed to know my son, but also because I need you. I don’t exist without you, Shane. Haven’t since the first moment I saw you. I need you to know that. There’s no amount of apologizing I could do that will make up for what I did to you, what I put you through, but you have to believe me when I tell you I’m so fucking sorry for not trusting you enough to give you the truth. That’s the biggest regret of my life, sunshine. There hasn’t been a day since I walked away from you, and there won’t be one in the future, no matter what happens, where I don’t regret that decision. But I’m not giving up.”
“Jensen—”
“I walked away from you without a fight once, and I’ll be damned if I do it again. I know you don’t trust me, but I’m going to bust my ass to earn that back. You can hate me for the rest of your life, but I’ll never stop trying to fix what I broke.”
Moving in close, I placed my palms on the sides of her neck and bent lower. “I never had a family until you. Grew up living in that goddamn house for eighteen years but never had a family until the day I met you. I wouldn’t take any of it back. Not a single thing I went through livin’ there, because it led me to you. I’d do it all over again if it meant having a chance to know you.” I lowered my forehead to hers and squeezed my eyes closed, my words a pleading whisper as I said, “I know I don’t have the right to ask you to forgive me, but I’m going to anyway, because there is no me without you, Shane. So please, please let me try. Let me try to fix us. Let me try to earn your trust and your forgiveness.”
“I was going to you.”
Pulling my head back, my brows pinched in confusion. “What?”
“I wasn’t going out with my friends when you showed up. I was going to you. I had time to think today, then Caroline came over and put some things in perspective. I was going to you so I could ask you to forgive me for being an idiot this afternoon and walking out on you.”
My chest rattled on a strained inhale. “Baby . . .”
“There’s no me without you either, Jensen, never has been. I’ve spent this past five years only existing, because I never stopped loving you either.”
She barely got those last words out before I slammed my mouth down on hers, sealing our lips together. A surge of adrenaline shot through me with that first touch, and the second her lips parted on a gasp, I dove in, my tongue flicking against hers. Her body instantly succumbed to the kiss and she melted into me, reaching up and fisting my hair tightly on a needy moan. Fuck, I’d missed this. The taste of her, the feel of her in my arms, her body pressed against mine.