“I’m trying to get to you.” His nose drops to my neck, and I suck in a cracked breath. “I’m really trying to be fucking nice here, but if you keep hiding in that ice castle, I’ll have no choice but to conquer.”
My fingers dig into his T-shirt, wanting to inflict pain. “Do I even have a choice in this?”
“You always have a choice with me. A queen or a pawn.”
Of course. There’s no in-between with him. “Either I become the most important piece or the most insignificant one. How… poetic.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You play chess.”
“How do you know that?”
“Those who don’t play think that the king is the most important piece because the game is over when he dies. They don’t know that the king is useless without his queen.”
Now, that is… poetic. Who knew someone like Aiden cared about the queen?
“We can play?” I ask tentatively. I’d take any option to dissipate the tension and get him off me.
“We have to take care of you first.”
Of course, he wouldn’t fall for that. Dickhead.
“Take care of what?”
“Have you heard about rape fantasy?”
My breathing catches in my throat. Fuck, fuck.
How the hell does he know about that? I mean, I read about it, I even so shamelessly searched it in the porn site bar. I felt sick to my stomach for the entire week after. How could I be interested in something that ruined women’s lives?
How could I be so deprived to fantasise about it?
Maybe Aiden is my karma. Maybe I’m being punished for ever thinking about that.
A spark shines in his eyes. “You have heard about it.”
“No,” I murmur turning my head to the side. “You’re the only one who’s interested in these perverted things.”
God. I’m such a hypocrite.
“You should look it up.” He grabs my chin and makes me face him. “I think you’ll find it useful.”
“Useful how?”
A wolfish grin curves his lips. He knows he got my interest. Bastard.
“There are people who like the rush of adrenaline that comes with rough, out of control sex. So they like being forced into it.”
“People like to be raped?” I thought it was just a fantasy, not practical… right?
“No. They like being forced to have sex. They usually plan it with their partners, so it’s technically not rape.”
“Is that the excuse you tell yourself?”
“I don’t tell myself excuses. I’m completely assertive of who and what I am. I know I’m different, I just don’t care.” His finger traces down my cheek. “The excuse is for you since you seem to so desperately need it.”
“I do not.”
“Fuck, Elsa. Stop being so damn stubborn.”
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” I hate the tremors in my voice. “Why don’t you let me go?”
A strange tightness grips my chest at the thought.
What if he really lets me go. What if he —
“I can’t,” His voice drops.
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
Something sharp and heavy slices through my chest. Aiden always has a choice. Hell, he even makes it clear that all choices are to his benefit.
It doesn’t make sense that he’s the one without a choice.
“Are you playing another mind game?”
“Are you, Elsa? Because I was never supposed to like you this much. Hell. I wasn’t supposed to think about you more than I think of myself.”
I was never supposed to like you this much.
Did I hear that right? Did Aiden just admit to liking me?
I think it’s right. I think… Aiden likes me.
And I believe him.
Unlike me, Aiden is assertive to a fault. He’s not afraid of admitting what he wants.
He’s free in ways you aren’t. Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to him.
Kim’s words hit me like an unexpected blow.
I waited for you to want me.
I’m not supposed to like you this much.
Those words dig black holes into my defences.
I let my hand travel up from his chest to the rippling tendons of his collarbone. Aiden grabs my hand in his stronger one.
He shakes his head once. “Not so fast.”
“W-what? But why?” Shame at being rejected sinks at the bottom of my stomach.
Isn’t this what he wanted?
“Kiss me,” he says.
“Kiss you,” I repeat, still confused out of my mind.
“This time, I want you to wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me first, Elsa.”
He’s so unfair. I should’ve known that he won’t only take. I should’ve known that he’d eventually want me to give.
He’s not interested in one battle, he wants to win the entire bloody war.
A small voice whispers that I’ll regret this tomorrow, but I don’t care about tomorrow right now.
I retrieve my hand from his and wrap both my arms around his neck.
Then I seal my lips to his.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
My kiss is tentative. Experimental.
It’s the first time I initiate a kiss. The first time I kiss Aiden without him basically forcing it on me.
At first, it’s a slight press of my lips against his firm ones. Then, my tongue darts out and I lick his bottom lip over and over. Gaining more boldness, I pull myself up and slightly nibble on it before trailing soft kisses on the corner of his mouth.
The whole time, Aiden watches me with hooded eyes. Both his arms are taut as he leans his hands on the bed.
He’s not touching me.
My bold phase shrinks a little. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe —
“Fuck this,” Aiden groans as his lips crash to mine.
His kiss is the complete opposite of my gentle ones. Aiden kisses like a madman searching for his sanity. It’s always out of control. My breathing ceases when he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth and devours me.
That’s what Aiden does. He devours. He shreds me apart and strips me bare until he owns every part of me.
Now that he’s taking charge, I feel like I can… let go.
Let go.
What a weird sensation.
I was never tempted to let go before. If anything, I did everything by the rules so I wouldn’t have to let go.
Aiden’s body is all over me. His legs barge between my trembling thighs. His chest flattens my aching breasts. His hands are all over my hair, my cheeks, my face.
He’s all over me.
His raw intensity seeps under my skin and shoots straight into my veins. It’s contagious.
He’s contagious.
Aiden wrenches his mouth from mine, and we both pant, breathing each other in.
I’m caught in his stormy gaze.
Since the beginning, he’s always looked at me differently like we’re connected.
Like he knows me better than anyone else.
And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to know him better than anyone, too.
He breaks eye contact to fling my pyjamas’ top over my head. The cloth rubs against my hard, sensitive nipples, sending a chill of pleasure between my legs.