I remembered that day like it was yesterday.
“I’ll make you and Mama proud of me.”
He stood from behind his desk, walked around it and stared into my eyes. My heart had picked up, and for the first time in years, I thought I saw a spark of happiness. And it was there because I was doing something he and my mother wanted.
“I’ll be the best nurse, Dad. I swear it.”
He smiled, placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead. “Oh, Timber, I know you will, sweetheart. I know you will.”
It had been the first show of affection from him in years. In that moment I saw his acceptance and love. We had gone out to dinner that night to celebrate, and it was when my father kept mentioning how great of a nurse I would make that I realized I had sealed my own fate. I signed up for a future I knew I wasn’t going to be happy with, all to make my father happy. If I had told him I wanted to work with horses, maybe even own a horse rescue, he would have looked at me like I was insane. So, I pushed my dreams to the side. How foolish I had been. It had only pulled me further away from my father.
With a sigh, I looked at my best friend. “I did it hoping to make my father happy.”
She rolled her eyes. “He certainly doesn’t act happy about it.”
A rush of sadness swept over me. “It’s complicated, Candace, and I really don’t want to talk about it.”
With a forced smile, she nodded, and I decided it was time to change the subject. “Kaylee invited me back to Montana for Christmas. She said she has some news she wants to share, and she’d love to have family there.”
Candace smiled. “I wonder what it is? She can’t already be pregnant, could she?”
My own face broke out in a wide grin. “I think she is!”
Candace grabbed my hands and we both jumped around and screamed, acting like middle school girls. Candace had met Kaylee only a handful of times, but it was hard not to fall in love with my cousin. She had a way of making everyone her best friend. I sure hoped Kaylee was pregnant. Plus, it would be another reason for me to pick moving to Montana over Utah. That and the blue-eyed man I couldn’t stop thinking about. But I refused to acknowledge that reason.
“How can her parents not want to be in the picture?” Candace asked, dropping my hands and taking a step back. “I just don’t understand it.”
I shrugged, a sadness coming over me. I had told Candace about how cruel Kaylee’s parents were. How they basically didn’t want anything to do with her unless they needed her for something, like a party where they could show her off or brag about her. Once I got into college and Kaylee told me more about it, it was strange to me how her father and my father were nothing alike, yet similar in so many ways. I sometimes saw the love in my father’s eyes when he would look at me; I simply couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t show it. That was so unlike Kaylee’s parents, who probably only had a child to give off the appearance of a well-rounded and happy family.
“If I ever have kids, I’m using your father and Kaylee’s parents as examples of how not to parent.”
I forced a laugh, but clearly missed what Candace said.
Candace regarded me closely. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Sorry, what did you say?”
She pulled her scrub top off, revealing a white tank top underneath, as she made her way toward the kitchen and reached into the refrigerator for a beer. “I said, were you able to get off work to go visit her?”
I glanced at my blurry reflection in the window. My blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail band, the hazel eyes looking back at me seemed so empty. It was a reflection I had seen for as long as I could remember.
I sighed and pushed away the sad thoughts and feelings. Tomorrow was my twenty-fourth birthday. The day my trust fund was finally mine. The day I could finally follow my own dreams.
“No,” I said to Candace, “they told me I couldn’t get Christmas off. I haven’t paid my time, apparently.”
She sank into the couch. “That sucks. Can no one pick up your shifts?”
“It doesn’t matter. None of it does, because I quit today.” I kept my gaze on the window as I answered, but I could feel Candace’s eyes on me. I knew if I turned around, she would be giving me one of her open-mouthed, shocked looks. Then she would launch into a sermon about how irresponsible I was being. I held my breath and waited for it. Her wrath would be nothing compared to what I could expect from my father when he finally found out. Of course, I would be a coward and not tell him until I actually left.
“You did what?”
“I quit,” I repeated.
“Um, Timber, you do realize that you have bills to pay? I can’t afford to cover your half of everything until you find something new.”
“Of course, I know that,” I said as I faced her. “I wrote you a check for the next six months’ rent and utilities.”
She stared at me in disbelief. Candace knew I came from money. She simply didn’t know how much money. I got a job as soon as I started college and worked as much as I could without it affecting my grades. Since my father paid for my tuition and living expenses, I tried to never touch the extra money he put into my account—I simply let it grow. I had hired Cory, a financial advisor, the moment I turned eighteen at the advice of my father. He was happy to see I was looking out for my own future, and even more impressed that I wasn’t going to “piss away your mother’s money,” as he put it.
“What! You just wrote me a check for the rent for six months?” Candace asked, her voice higher than normal.
“Yes, because I didn’t want to leave you in a lurch. I’m not only going to Montana for Christmas, I’m going to stay. At least, I think I am.”
Candace smiled, but I saw the instant sadness in her eyes. “Your horse rescue and training stables, right?”
I nodded, but her smile faded and worry etched across her face. “I thought that was always just one of those…what if dreams. I didn’t realize you were serious. I’m going to miss you so much, Timber.”
My chest squeezed. “I’m going to miss you too, but I know this is the right thing to do.”
She sighed. “Can you make money off of that kind of venture?”
I gave her a cocky grin. “Don’t worry. It’s all going to work out.” Candace didn’t need to know I had enough money with my investments and the money in my trust fund to last me the rest of my life if I simply wanted to live off of that alone. But I needed a purpose, I needed to follow my passion.
She shook her head as if trying to shake off some confusion. “What a pair we are. Isn’t it always me saying things will work out and you’re the one saying nothing will go right?”
We both laughed.
Candace stopped laughing and looked at me seriously. “How are you able to write me a check to cover the next six months? I mean, I know your dad is wealthy and all, but six months’ worth of rent money, Timber?”
I let out a breath. “Tomorrow I have access to the trust fund my mother left me. Well, actually, it was her trust fund, and when she died it went to me. I didn’t have access to it until I turned twenty-four. Honestly,” I said with a halfhearted laugh, “I think my father has forgotten about it. Anyway, I want to use that money to find myself a nice-size piece of land. Something with at least one stable on it and a house. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but I want the space to be able to grow my business. And with what I saved up during college from working and not touching the allowance my father gave me, I have a nice nest egg. Covering the rent for six months isn’t going to be an issue.”