Her latest story, accordingly, had been betaed by TopMeAeneas, not BAWN, even though—for once—she’d delved a bit into canon, or at least canon-compliance.
She shoved her glasses more firmly onto the bridge of her nose.
Okay. No more delays.
She could either sit against her headboard and think about BAWN, or read the man’s actual messages from that morning and respond to him. Tell him what he needed to know and gauge his reaction.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: You went canon-compliant, huh? Bold choice, Ulsie.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: Didn’t I say you’d rock canon if you ever tried it? You really captured Lavinia’s resentment at the marriage, the reluctance in her attraction, in a way most can’t. Also, the description of her wielding the sword: A+. Narrating a clear action sequence informed by her character’s history, her personality, and the skills she would and wouldn’t have is damn hard, and you pulled it off.
She smiled at the screen. BAWN was so supportive of her work. Always.
Funny how his praise of her action sequence echoed Marcus’s description of how the Gods of the Gates crew handled the show’s battle scenes. That approach must be more common than she’d realized as a fight sequence newbie.
Later that morning, he’d sent one more message.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: You said you had something to talk to me about this weekend?
Well, she supposed that was her cue. He deserved to know what was happening. In so many ways, for so many reasons.
She wanted to know more about him too. Wanted to meet him in person at the next Con of the Gates, despite his professed shyness. Maybe tonight, once she took that first step and told him who she was on Twitter, showed him what she looked like, they could move toward a relationship that didn’t exist solely online.
And if whatever was happening between her and Marcus would damage her chances with BAWN, she would happily—or at least, not overly unhappily—DM the actor and tell him the second date was off. He could comfort himself with one of his many hair products.
Biting her lip, she winced at her own callousness.
He wasn’t the shallow, uninteresting man she’d once thought him. She knew that now. He could be hurt. Would be hurt, if she changed her mind about their second date. But for BAWN, she’d handle the guilt and forgo the opportunity to dig deeper beneath Marcus’s surface.
For BAWN, she’d expose her heart now.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Thank you for the lovely comments, here and on AO3. I have a feeling I’ll be writing a lot more canon in the near future. Which is related to what I need to tell you, actually.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: So . . . you saw that uproar the other night, when Marcus Caster-Rupp asked out a fan on Twitter?
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: That fan was, uh, me. I use the handle @Lavineas5Ever there. Please don’t tell the rest of the group yet. I will eventually, but I wanted to talk to you about it first.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: We had our date tonight. Dinner at a restaurant. I’m posting pics later tonight on Twitter, although other people in the restaurant probably have their own shots up already.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: When you’re online, please let me know. Let’s chat.
With that information, he could see her at long last. Face. Body.
Caught talking or eating. From the side, the back, the front. In motion. Still.
Oh, God, her heartbeat was echoing in her ears. And when BAWN’s response popped up within seconds, she literally jumped.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’m here.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: Wow. This is a surprising development.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: It’s wonderful to see your face, Ulsie.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Only my face?
Book!AeneasWouldNever: All of you. I just checked, and there are some very nice shots of your dinner tonight appearing online, as you said.
Wonderful, he’d said. Very nice.
Slowly, her heart rate was calming, the prickle of nervous sweat at her hairline diminishing.
It was okay. It was okay. He’d seen her, and hadn’t turned away.
She should have known. BAWN wasn’t shallow or unkind.
He hadn’t even seemed especially shocked by news that she’d gone on a date with one half of their OTP, weirdly enough. Unable to resist, she did a quick internet search of her own, to discover what version of herself he’d just seen, and . . .
Yes. There she was, on Twitter and Insta and one entertainment blog post already. In some shots, those bastards had caught her midchew. In others, though, she was smiling.
In one, Marcus was leaning across the table, staring at her intently. Touching the back of her wrist in a way that made her shiver to remember, shiver to see from an outsider’s perspective.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: You’re right. I just found a few of the pics.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: I imagine it must be hard to have your private life suddenly so visible. Does it bother you?
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Well, it’s not my FAVORITE thing in the world, but it’s okay. In general, I don’t give a shit what strangers think. Just the people I care about.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: Good.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: So how was the date?
Here be dragons, she thought.
Because she couldn’t really tell him much about her topsy-turvy dinner with the man who played Aeneas, could she? Not without violating Marcus’s privacy and contradicting his chosen public persona, which she refused to do.
Even if that hadn’t been an issue, though, she wouldn’t have described the date in detail. If BAWN cared about her the same way she did him, hearing those details would sting, and she wasn’t about to hurt him. Not for anything.
God, if he’d gone on a date with a famous actress, she couldn’t even imagine how insecure and worried she’d be. So no, she wasn’t sharing specifics. And depending on how he responded to their conversation tonight, there might not be any future specifics to omit.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: It was pleasant. He seems like a genuinely decent man. The food was EXCELLENT too. If you make it to San Francisco for Con of the Gates, maybe we could go there? My treat.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: Any interesting tidbits? Behind-the-scenes secrets he let slip? Or personal anecdotes?
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Nope. None.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: He was very circumspect.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: Do you want to see him again?
His assumption that Marcus would be willing to see her again, that the existence or lack of a second date was entirely up to her, was flattering—but BAWN had entirely ignored her mention of meeting in person. Dammit.
And she wouldn’t lie to him, so double dammit.
She hoped he wouldn’t take her answer the wrong way.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: We agreed to meet again.
While she was still in the midst of typing the second part to her answer, the part where she’d explain her willingness to cancel that agreed-upon date with Marcus if BAWN wanted to meet in person instead, her friend’s next message blinked to life on her screen.
Then—
Then, she had to swallow against the taste of bile as she read BAWN’s DM. Read it again, just to be sure she’d understood it correctly. The actual information, yes, but also the possible implications.
Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’m glad we got a chance to chat tonight, because I wanted you to know I’m traveling again soon. I have a new job. Where I’m going, I don’t think I’ll have much internet access, if any. So this may be the last time you hear from me, at least for a while.