She’d been wrong. Oh so wrong about everything. She’d judged Rand unfairly for years, comparing him to her father. Yes, he was dominant and arrogant and self-assured and controlling. But he was nothing like her father. Nothing at all.
He wanted her to be an independent, take-charge woman in every aspect of her life except one. The one place where she wanted him to control her, where she wanted, needed his dominance.
Sexually.
“I don’t know what to say.”
He grinned. “Say what you feel.”
She shuddered a breath. “I’ve been scared of you my whole life. Because of my dad, and what he did to my mom. I knew what kind of man you were, and I swore I’d never be the kind of woman my mother was.”
Tired of looking down at him, she dropped to the ground and sat. Rand sat with her and cradled her hands in his.
“Go on,” he said.
“After my first few sexual experiences, I came away empty. I deliberately chose guys I could control, because I was afraid to be with someone who was too dominant. The men I chose left me unfulfilled, though, and I knew then I was a sexual submissive, that I wanted to be dominated in the bedroom.”
“Bet that really scared you, given your family history.”
She nodded. “But I was determined to stay away from men who were like my father. And I lumped you in that category. You were strong, self-sufficient, arrogant, and powerful. I couldn’t control you. You made my heart thump like a wild beast in my chest, and you made my toes curl. You made my panties wet whenever you walked by or talked to me. For years it was you I fantasized about when I masturbated. With every man I fucked it was your face in my mind, your hands all over me.”
Part of her couldn’t believe she’d just admitted that to him. The other part of her felt free and unafraid that she had. Because she knew Rand wouldn’t use it against her, wouldn’t think her weak because of it.
“That’s hot, babe,” he said, reaching out to caress her neck. “Thank you.”
Her skin flushed at his touch, her nipples tight and achy.
She finally drew a deep breath and spilled her dark secret. “I’ve loved you from the first time my heart knew what love was, but it scared the shit out of me, Rand. I’ve never wanted a man more than I’ve wanted you. All these years, all those guys, all I ever really wanted was you. The only man I’ve ever surrendered to was you.” Her body, her soul, and her heart. She’d just handed it all to him. And as she did, she realized that she wasn’t afraid anymore.
Her heart swelled with the love she’d been too afraid to show him.
“I love you, Rand.” She pushed to her knees and hitched up her skirt, then straddled his lap. Winding her arms around his neck, she smiled at him, her heart swelling so much she felt it might burst through her chest. So this was love. Giddy, disgustingly sweet. She didn’t care how stupid it was. She felt fabulous. “I love you.”
He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her against him. “Does this mean your answer is yes?”
She waited for the inevitable clutch of fear, the urge to run. It didn’t come rushing toward her. The path before her was clear for the first time in her life.
“Yes. Oh, hell, yes, I’ll marry you.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, breathing in his scent, tasting the coffee and peppermint on his lips before she slid her tongue inside his mouth to claim him as her man. Hers. Forever.
She was now a one-man woman. Maybe she always had been.
He scooped his hands under her butt and stood, lifting her and placing her on her feet.
“Now, Ms. Newcastle,” he said with a stern voice and an arched brow, “I believe I said something about you stripping.”
She shivered at his authoritative tone, more than ready to do whatever he wanted. No barriers this time, no fear. She belonged to him and was his to command. But she could also tease him a little while doing his bidding. First she made painfully slow work of shrugging out of her jacket, folding it ever so neatly before turning to place it on the chair of the vanity across from the bed. When she turned back to him, she smiled.
“Don’t be all day about it, Blair.”
“These are very expensive clothes, Rand. I have to be careful with them.” She undid the buttons on her blouse. One by one. Slow and easy, keeping eye contact with him. Watching every breath he took, the way his nostrils flared, the way his gaze moved down the row of buttons with her fingers. The heat of his eyes singed every inch of skin as she undressed for him. Taking this much time to remove her clothes was excruciating. She wanted to rip them off and get naked so he would touch her. But she wanted to tease him, to make him anticipate.
Or maybe she just wanted to dare him to take her. So far he was showing amazing restraint as she finished the last button on her blouse and spread it apart, letting it slide off her shoulders and skim down her arms. It floated to the floor. She left her bra alone and reached for the side button of her skirt.
“You’re not moving fast enough. How expensive is that skirt?”
“Oh. Very.”
In a flash he had her in his arms. The button on her skirt went flying, the zipper tearing as he lost the last of his restraint. She gasped as he made short work of yanking the skirt down and ripping her panties off.
“I’ll replace it.”
Like she cared.
He held her against his chest and with one hand reached behind her to undo the clasp on her bra, then stepped back, drawing the straps down her arms as he did. His gaze roamed over her naked flesh, her body reacting in the same way it would as if he touched her. Her lips parted, and she fought for air as she tried to anticipate what he had in store for her.
“Let’s try out this new bed,” he said, drawing her hand in his and motioning her to the bed with the other. “Get up there and put your hands on the canopy.”
She knew he’d like that part of the bed. He held her hand while she climbed onto the mattress, then grasped the top rail of the canopy. Oh, she’d measured everything, made sure she could comfortably reach the top rail. Not that she expected to ever have the pleasure of using it, but she knew Rand’s desires and figured some woman would.
Yeah. Her. She was that woman. Standing on her bed, gripping her canopy. She shivered in anticipation as she looked down at Rand.
He removed his gun holster, unbuckled his belt, slipping it through the loops of his jeans and holding it in the palm of his hands. She smiled down at him, wondering if he’d spank her with it.
Did she want him to? She grabbed her bottom lip with her teeth and watched intently as he laid the belt on the chair in the corner between the nightstand and dresser.
“No, baby,” he said as he turned back to her. “If I smack that fine ass of yours, it’s going to be with my hand. I want to feel your skin heat up with every swat.”
She inhaled sharply and kept her thoughts to herself, watching as he peeled his shirt off, revealing his bronzed chest, then went to work on his jeans. Like her, he tormented her with a slow revelation of his golden body. Impatient, she wanted him to hurry and undress. But he took his damn sweet time, flipping the button open on his jeans, then drawing the zipper down, pausing to look up at her as his knuckles brushed his hard-on.
God, that was hot. She wanted to touch him, to undress him, to unveil his cock and engulf it with her mouth. She swallowed and stayed silent, her palms beginning to sweat as she held onto the canopy rail.