Emotion battles its way through the center of my chest and I clench my jaw to keep from crying. I need to face Cora. Apologize. Thank her for her help. But how am I supposed to do any of those things when I can’t even look at myself? Not without breaking down.
Fuck it. I’ve made her wait this long. What’s a few more minutes?
I flip on the shower, cranking the heat as hot as I can stand it. The scalding water and soap wash away the evidence of today’s outing, even if the memory is inked permanently in my mind as much as the tattoos on my skin.
When I step out of the shower, the mirror is fogged up. Thankful to avoid my reflection, I dry off and tug on my sweatpants. “Don’t be a little bitch,” I mutter to myself, then reach for the door. It’s only been a few minutes—ten tops, but I wonder if Cora decided to slip out unnoticed. I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
The blast of cool air from the air-conditioned room hits me first. I pause at the foot of the bed. David’s chest rises and falls with his even breathing. No more excuses. My feet drag on the worn carpet and I grab a white T-shirt, pulling it over my head before finally stepping into the living space.
David’s booster sits next to the closed door, my backpack at its side. Cora isn’t on the couch as I expect, and it isn’t until the clatter of cutlery from the kitchen catches my ear that I exhale the breath I’m holding.
She didn’t leave.
“Hey.” I drag my eyes to meet her reserved stare.
“I made coffee.” She pushes one of the ceramic mugs across the counter.
Her kindness is almost too much. “Thank you,” I manage to choke out before I pick up the mug. My exhale cools the liquid at the surface before I enjoy a tentative sip. Leaning against the counter opposite her, I take another drink then set down my cup. “I’m sorry I raised my voice earlier.” I hold her gaze. As difficult as it is to witness her pain and disappointment, I deserve it. “I’m sorry for the hurtful things I said. They weren’t true.”
“You had every right to be angry. I pushed you to take him out today.”
“Even still, I had no business taking out my frustrations on you. You deserve better.” I scrub a hand over the ends of my damp hair and exhale despite the tightness in my chest. “That’s why I . . .” God, why does this hurt? She was never mine. Not really. Yet the thought of letting her go kills a little of the hope planted in my soul. “I’ll understand if you want to take some time apart. Or end this.”
Her gaze snaps up, her eyes widening with the part of her mouth. “What? No.”
“Look, I can’t give you the kind of life you deserve.” I wring my hands together and stare at my feet. “My temper is short, especially under situations like that. We’re a lot of trouble, David and I, and I’d understand . . .”
Her hand cups my jaw, lifting it as she invades my personal space. “You can stop right now. No one makes me do anything I don’t want to.” Her thumb brushes against my jaw, so gentle, but the fierceness in her tone betrays her emotion. “Just ask my mother.” A wry laugh escapes her lips. “And I like you. I like you a lot.”
God, I want to pull her close. Wrap my hands around her waist and drag her chest to mine. Only, I won’t sway her choice with sexual dominance. Her decision doesn’t only affect me. “But David.”
“David is a part of you.” Her hand slides around my neck and she steps between my parted legs, holding my stare. “You’re a package deal. I knew that going in.” Her brows raise after a beat of silence. The hint of a smile plays on her lips. “What? No argument for that?”
Of all the things I expect her to say, this one has me utterly speechless. She wants me. She wants us. My pulse races with the yearning that blooms inside my chest. I finally allow myself to touch her. Wrapping my hands around her waist, everything feels right in my world again. Balanced. Beautiful. More. “I think you might be crazy, woman.” I chuckle, and nuzzle the crook of her neck.
“Excuse me?” She giggles, shoving playfully at my shoulder.
I lift my gaze to hers, the smile on my lips spreading with a freefall of abandon. “Yeah, you heard me.” I capture her mouth, laying claim to her lips and kissing her to communicate how grateful I am for her affection. I pull back before my entire body explodes with desire. Taking her hand in mine, I wait for her to meet my stare. I need her to understand. “I don’t know anyone who would stay after today.”
“You know me.” She squeezes her fingers, tightening our bond. Offering a promise. “I’m here.”
My throat constricts and my nose stings at the sudden urge to cry. I’ve never had a partner in any of this. A confidant. Someone to lean on. Yes, my sisters and my parents are a huge support, but I can’t tell them my biggest fears. Voicing them would be like dousing my family’s worries in gasoline next to an open flame. Still. I want to open up to Cora. I feel as though I might shatter if I don’t. “I’m scared for him.” As difficult as it is to get the words out, holding them in is harder. “He still isn’t talking. What if . . .” I shake my head. “How will he navigate this loud and messy world? I want to always be there for him. I do my best. Give him everything he needs. But what if it’s not enough?” I exhale, biting my lip to keep from shedding tears. “What if I’m not enough?”
“Oh, baby. You are.” Her hands wrap around my body, hugging me to her. Her kisses press against my neck, her voice steady and sure. “Isaac, you are.”
I swallow back the knot in my throat. “You have to say that.”
“What?” She pulls back, her brow furrowed. “I do not.”
“Sure, you do.” I slide my palms over her hip, needing to touch her. I don’t deserve her understanding, her patience, or her affection, but she gives it freely anyway. My lips lift with the start of a smile. “You want in my pants.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “I think the feeling’s mutual.”
“Do you want to stay?” The night. Forever.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Yeah.” I do. Selfish as it is, I never want to let this woman go. “Stay. Stay with me.” I can’t worry about tomorrow or where we go from here. All I know is that trusting my heart has rarely led me astray. Besides, I’m willing to risk it breaking for the chance of something real with her.
Thirty-Two
Cora
I stay. In fact, I spend the rest of the weekend with Isaac at his apartment. We talk, cook meals together, and I clean the kitchen while Isaac puts David to bed. When David’s asleep we make love. We don’t talk again about the incident at the festival, but it doesn’t leave a cloud over the rest of our weekend. We talk a lot about David’s development and I listen, sensing that’s what Isaac needs most. Everything we do is normal and low key. Familial. While that’s something I’ve never placed much priority on—not with how much I work and travel—I finally understand the appeal.
By the time Sunday afternoon rolls around, part of me doesn’t want to leave. Not only because I enjoy Isaac’s company, but because we’ve created this bubble away from the world where it’s safe and easy. Where I feel loved. All of that will change, if not tomorrow then eventually, and I only hope the challenges that lie on the horizon won’t ruin what I’ve discovered with Isaac. I want to be with him but we’re still so new, and relationships take a lot of work.