“Hey.” I reach out to brush a few errant tendrils of hair back from where they fall in her face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Sorry.” She shakes her head, then nods. “Actually, yes. I’m sorry I’ve been distracted tonight. Lots on my mind.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quite light up her features. “I wasn’t rude, was I? Did I offend your parents?”
“No. They loved you.”
“I loved them too. Your sisters, the food, everything was wonderful.” She swallows hard, as if there’s more she wants to say, and shifts in her seat. Her leg bumps the box under the table. “Sorry,” she says, reaching down to move it. “What’s this?” Cora lifts my sketchbook from the box; she flips through the pages.
“It’s nothing,” I say, but then clarify at the lift of her eyebrow. “Something I picked up again. It’s been a good stress reliever.”
She flips through a few more pages. “Isaac, these are amazing.”
“They aren’t, but I appreciate you thinking so.”
“I know you’ll probably hate me for suggesting it, but I think you should call Gwen. At least send her photos of some of your pieces.”
I’m already shaking my head. “No.”
“Isaac.”
“I’m not that good.”
“I think you are.”
“You give me too much credit.”
She sighs, setting down my sketchbook to brush her hand along my jaw. “You don’t give yourself enough.”
“So, we gonna talk about this audition? The one you dodged discussing at my parents.”
She blows out an exaggerated breath, folding her hands on the table, and I wonder if she’s going to avoid it again. “My agent called Friday.”
“Bad news?”
“Opposite, actually. I have a final callback on Tuesday.”
“And you don’t wanna do it?” I guess.
“Not exactly. It would entail a good amount of travel.”
She’d be gone. “Oh.” My stomach sinks at the idea of her not being here. After the last month, I feel almost spoiled for all the time we’ve spent together.
“Yeah.”
“But otherwise, you’d want to take it?”
“If it were here in LA, it’d be a no brainer.” She spins her mug in her hands and shrugs. “But.” She doesn’t finish, almost as if she’s scared to speak the words. I hate seeing her this way. Conflicted. Uneasy. Cora’s light shines bright, and I won’t be the guy responsible for dimming that.
“You should take it if that’s what you want.” I lay my hand on the table, palm up, next to hers.
She intertwines our fingers. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“Don’t turn it down because of me.”
“It’s in Scotland.” She bites at her lip. “The filming.”
“Oh.”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “And I would never ask you to follow me, or wait.”
“I’ll wait.” It’s not even an option. She’s it for me.
“Isaac. It’s for a series.” Cora closes her eyes. “It could be years.”
“Years?” I whisper, the word tightens my throat. “But you would get breaks? Get to visit? I could come see you. We could talk.”
“Don’t.” She shakes her head. “I might not even take it.”
“You want to pass?”
“I don’t know. Honestly.”
“Because of me.”
“They haven’t even offered me the role.” She sits up straighter, smiling brighter. “This is silly. We don’t have to do this right now. It could all be for naught. That’s why I didn’t tell you before. I wasn’t trying to hide it; I didn’t want to stress you out. I wasn’t trying to pressure you into a commitment. That’s not why I brought it up.”
“Hey. I don’t want you giving up things for me. You don’t have to do that.” I squeeze her hand. “I want to be with you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah.” She smiles and releases my hand to take a sip from her coffee. “I’m going to visit my mom and sister for a few days. If that’s okay.”
“Cora, you don’t need my permission to do anything.”
“I know.” She rolls her eyes. “I just, I didn’t want you to think it was weird or that I was rushing off.”
“When are you planning to go?”
“Wednesday. Maybe Thursday. I have that callback and a few meetings before I can leave. I think I’ll stay the weekend. I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.”
“Your sister will love that.”
She grins. “Yeah, I miss her.”
I lean forward, catching her chin in my fingers, then press a chaste kiss to her lips. “I’ll miss you.”
“Yeah?” She brushes her lips over mine and abandons her coffee to wind her arms around my neck. “How about you show me?”
“We never got to have trailer sex.” I tug her closer, and she pops off her chair to sit on my lap.
“We didn’t.”
I glance at the open door to where David sleeps. For now. I really need a bigger apartment. “We could sneak into the bathroom. Pretend we’re at work”
She chuckles, her smiling chasing away all my worries. “I’m down with that.”
Forty-Seven
Isaac
The night I met Emily, I was drunk, out celebrating my first completed year of art school with old friends from high school. I was staying with my parents for the summer, and we drove out to a party at one of my buddies’ cousin’s. I noticed her the minute we walked in, and after a few beers worked up the courage to talk to her. She was beautiful, but her quick wit kept my attention.
A night of shameless flirting resulted in us hooking up in one of the bedrooms. The sex was hot and over too fast. I think I made her come, but I can’t recall. It wasn’t a love connection. We weren’t anything more than two consenting adults looking for a good time. Afterward I asked for her number, but instead she programmed mine into her phone. She promised to call, and I hoped she would. We could have some fun over the summer before I left for school.
I don’t know why she never called.
By the end of summer I’d forgotten about her and our stolen night. I hate myself for that most. What if I had tracked her down? Asked her out again? Would things have been different? Would I have been able to save her? At least save my son?
I only know the information available on public record. That she was arrested for drug trafficking. Her boyfriend was behind bars for much worse. My son lived in that environment until he was removed by Social Services. By some miracle, Emily remembered my name and gave it to them after her arrest. I wish she had done so sooner.
Anger boils at the years she robbed from me. It’s the reason I’ve never gone to see her in prison. We weren’t a couple. Hell, we weren’t even friends, but what she did to our son was unforgivable. Keeping him from me, only worse.
But today I’m putting aside my own demons for his best interest. I have questions only she can answer, and now with my visitor application approved, I have no excuses.