“Shit.” I groaned.
Not only did Avery steal the truck, but she left me with blue balls on top of it.
10
Avery
Avery
When I dropped Casey’s truck off at his parents’ house at seven the next morning, Mrs. Malone was sitting on her front porch looking for all the world like she was ready to vanish into thin air.
I’d meant to walk away, really I did. To go home and get back to my bed, which I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep in after leaving Carter in bed. I couldn’t help it though. He’d insulted me, called me a fuck-up, and then accused me of pretending. He didn’t know anything about me. I didn’t owe him shit.
Seriously, I started walking away, and then I heard her sniffling, and my heart broke right there in my chest. Resigning myself to the fact that I had to do something, I turned around and headed onto the porch. They lived in a large old Colonial style house with a wraparound porch, and Mrs. Malone was sitting on the side of the house staring out toward an empty field that would have more of the yellow Bellwort that I loved in the spring. Her bench didn’t rock or move in the slightest, and if I hadn’t seen her right off the bat, I wouldn’t have noticed her.
She didn’t acknowledge me as I stepped onto their porch, and my heart continued to ache for her and everything she’d lost. “Mrs. Malone?” My voice barely rose above a whisper, and even I could barely hear it. But she turned her head and a pair of dark brown eyes locked on mine.
At least now I knew where Carter got his eyes. With that thought, I immediately flushed while the memory of what I’d just done to him a few hours before came flashing back.
“I’m sorry, Avery. None of the boys are here, if you’re looking for them.” Her voice hitched, and she sniffled some more.
“Oh,” I hedged while putting a bright smile on my face. “I’m not here for one of them. I’m here for you. Plus.” I pointed at Casey’s truck, which I’d left a few hundred feet away. “Casey left his truck somewhere easily accessible, so I thought I’d return it.”
Her eyes were still listless, empty shells reflecting back at me without any substance.
“You know,” I went on. “I don’t have to work today. Why don’t I keep you company? At least for a little while, okay?”
She didn’t nod, but she did scoot a little bit to the left so that I’d have space.
“Thanks for that,” I told her brightly. “You know I’ve got tons of curves, so it’s not always the easiest for me to squeeze down onto a bench.” The truth was that I loved to eat and hated to exercise, but I didn’t think I needed to say that.
Instead, she reached down and took my hand in hers, squeezing for all she was worth. Admittedly, that wasn’t much. Not with the state she was currently in. Usually, I couldn’t stand to be touched by almost anyone. The panic didn’t come. In fact, all I felt was calm, and her desolation—which I had to fix.
“Did you know, Mrs. Malone,” I went on like nothing had happened. “I used to sneak over here in the summer when the boys were out playing sports or doing whatever they were doing, and I used to lay in your field in the summer. You and the Johnson farm are the only places in Birch where the Bellworts grow. At least with yellow.”
I rambled, but I rambled for a reason. She needed me. Otherwise I wouldn’t be there. I believed in fate and fate told me that Mrs. Malone needed me.
“Amy,” she coughed, clearing her throat when she stumbled on her name. “You’re an adult now, Avery. You can call me by my name.”
I squeezed her fingers lightly as she released the tight grip she had on my hand, encouraging her to keep hold of my hand. “Of course you knew. You always knew everything. And one year, there was a path, right to the middle of the field for me.”
“Carter did that,” Mrs. Malone whispered. “Deacon came to the house, worried up a storm because you’d gotten covered in ticks. And your mother wasn’t going to let you come over anymore. The next day, Carter went out before the sun came up, and he mowed down a path.”
“What? Carter didn’t even know who I was in school. It made no sense that he’d do something like that. For me.” Disbelief filled every pore of my being, and I struggled to even think of an alternative.
“Of course he did.” She leaned her head on my shoulder, throwing me off completely.
I expected revulsion, to panic at the increased touch. But I didn’t. She didn’t panic me, or worry me in the slightest. Being able to enjoy someone’s touch, without initiating it meant the world to me. Except, even as I thought about it, I remembered that not once the night before had I panicked with Carter.
“That boy of mine always saw you. Just don’t tell him I told you that. He’d lose his mind.”
“I won’t,” I whispered conspiratorially. Part of me didn’t believe her, though. “I’m so sorry about Keegan, Mrs. Malone.”
Keegan was in my class in school. But just like his brothers, he’d been one of the golden boys of Birch. Elite, untouchable, and so far out of my orbit it wasn’t funny.
“You know he cheated from you in school, right? And I told you to call me Amy, young lady.”
I laughed, unable to help myself. “Of course I knew. I had to make sure to leave my tests on the edge of my desk for him to see every page. How did you know?” I wouldn’t be calling her Amy, either. If my mother ever heard about it, she’d wash my mouth out with soap.
“He told me, and asked if he should tell the school. Does it make me a bad mother to admit that I told him not to? Keegan’s the smartest out of all of them.” Her breath hitched. “He was the smartest. But he always froze when it came to taking tests.”
“I know,” I whispered. “He knew all the answers in class. That’s why I didn’t mind him copying. Half of my notes for those tests came from answers he gave during the regular classes.” The admission hurt my chest, and with my free hand I rubbed the ache, trying to make it better.
“He’s gone.” She started to cry, letting the tears flow, unchecked. “He’s gone, and I can’t even ask for revenge or vengeance, because the man who took him is dead, too.”
“Hey.” I reached up and put my hand on her cheek. “You know Keegan wouldn’t want that, Mrs. Malone.”
Her eyes flashed with anger, and I found myself happy she felt anything.
“He really wouldn’t,” I went on. “And Keegan? Keegan wouldn’t want any of the others going after him either. And if the man hadn’t died, that’s exactly what would have happened. You might have lost more than one child. Either they would have died in the pursuit, or they would have lost a piece of their soul. And trust me, that’s a lot worse than anything you could possibly imagine.”
Now, I was crying too. But neither of us moved. Even as the sounds of someone stirring in the house behind us grew louder, we held onto each other.
“Don’t you dare break my boy’s heart,” she whispered. “He lies to himself, putting up walls and rules all day long. But you have the power to walk right through them. You always could, Avery. If you hurt him, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get him back.”