Laughing, Lucas handed him a box, and I handed the rest to Carter. Then, while they got plates and napkins, I stole his chair and rolled over to Remy’s side.
Remy didn’t look up from his phone, scowling the entire time.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?”
“Parker’s got a date,” Linc offered from his desk across the room. “Lover Boy over here is trying to spy on her.”
“Ha.” I laughed. “You’re an idiot. If you like her, you should ask her out. Be a man about it. Like Carter.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Carter appeared at my side with a plate. “Either that or let her steal your truck.”
Glaring at him, I took the plate he offered and ate the pizza with a growl. “Technically, it was your brother’s truck.”
Everyone in the bullpen laughed at that, including Lucas, who’d heard the story multiple times.
“Hey.” Carter kissed my forehead when we were leaving a little while later. “Thank you.”
“Any time,” I winked. “I’ll be asleep when you get back, so don’t wake me up.”
Carter rolled his eyes, but nodded all the same. “I wouldn’t dare.”
He would, however, pick me up and carry me to bed. Which he did almost every single night. Not that I was ever going to complain about it.
And when I held Lucas in my arms as he fell asleep on the couch later, I couldn’t help but feel like my life was absolutely perfect.
“Miss James?” Lucas’ soft, sleep-filled voice broke the peaceful calm of the night.
“Yea, sweetheart?”
“I wish you were my mom.”
Thankfully, Lucas couldn’t see the silent tears that tracked down my face. He couldn’t see the anguish that overtook my entire heart and soul.
My voice broke, and I barely managed a whisper. “Me too.”
If only wishes could fix the damage that had been done to me. But there was nothing left. Nothing.
18
Carter
My throat dried up as I stepped into the clubhouse, and I knew that I had multiple sets of eyes on me, all at once. But there was no backing down, not now. Even if my stomach turned, and I had to swallow the bile back down before I threw up from nerves.
“Deacon,” the bartender called out over the noise blaring through the club. I recognized her, from the bar the night of Keegan’s funeral. “Your sister’s man is here.”
Deacon turned around, an older version of him standing by his side, and they both started walking in my direction. Alex James, former biker, and one of the founders of the Twisted Kings, smiled warmly at me even though in our current surroundings, I was his enemy. His leather reflected in the light around us, and the skull on his cut gleamed bright. Next to Deacon’s, though, it seemed ancient.
Every single person in the clubhouse stopped what they were doing to watch our interaction. Clearly, there was the expectation of trouble, but I didn’t have a choice about my attire. This was literally the only time I could get away. So, I was standing in the middle of the Twisted Kings clubhouse, in my full police uniform, and there would not be very many happy campers about that.
I met Deacon and his father in the middle of the room, and the song playing through the speakers cut off abruptly.
“Everyone, out.” Deacon’s voice boomed. “We’ve got business. Sissy, you wanna grab us a few drinks on your way out?”
Less than ten seconds later, we were completely alone, and all the nerves I’d tried to bury came rushing out.
“Here.” Deacon shoved the beer into my hand. “Just take a sip. It’ll calm your nerves.”
I shook my head and handed it back. “Sorry, man. I’m on the clock. Can’t. You understand.”
My fucking palms chose that moment to sweat, and I could see the light shining brighter. Seemed like the perfect time to have my first ever panic attack.
“I want to marry Avery,” I spat out.
There. Finally I fuckin’ said it. I silently dared either of them to tell me no.
“I’ve known that since you took a hit meant for me,” Deacon laughed.
His father looked at us both, eyebrows raised. “He did what?”
Deacon sat down, waving both of us down with him, and drank the beer he’d offered me. “Seriously, Dad. You should have seen it. One of the guys lost his temper and a bar fight popped up. Some drunk asshole from out of town thought it’d be a great idea to punch the Prez, and Carter here stepped up at the right time.
“Why are you asking permission to marry her, though?” Alex asked me. “You have to know that’s not a good idea.”
“Oh,” I shook my head. “I’m not an idiot. I’m not asking your permission. Are you kidding me? If Avery thought for a minute that any of us considered her to be property, we’d all be castrated and left for dead. I’m telling you. I’m going to marry your daughter. I love her, and I know she loves me.”
“She’s said it, then?” Deacon sipped his beer, watching me closely.
I didn’t even flinch. “You know her better than that. I don’t need to hear the words. I see them. In the way she’s there. In the way she yells at me. When she offers to rub my neck. And yeah, if you must know.” I added. “Avery talks in her sleep.”
“If you’re not here for permission,” Alex interrupted. “Then why are you here?”
“Because I respect you.” I put my hands on the table. “Avery’s a teacher, but she’s still part of your world. And the news that she’s marrying a cop isn’t going to sit well with people in your world. I thought you might want a heads up, to mitigate any of the fallout, ya know?”
“I’m impressed,” Alex said quietly. “It’s not many men who would even get involved with a woman like Avery, knowing who her family is. But you’ve done it, jumped in with both feet.”
I shrugged, realizing that I needed to be honest.
“You know she saved my life, right?”
Both Deacon and Alex leaned forward, and I coughed.
“Man, I wish I could have that beer right about now.”
When Deacon held an unopened one out to me, I shook my head again.
“I have to hear this,” Alex said while lacing his fingers together on the tabletop. “How did Avery save your life?”
“Well.” I started. “You know I went to USC after high school with a full-ride scholarship for football.”
Both of them nodded. Deacon had actually been at my party to celebrate, so I knew I was just rehashing the beginning.
“Both me, and LJ. We played together all four years in college. Refused the draft until we were seniors. Wouldn’t even enter. But man, we were good. They called us Golden Boys for a reason. And when we were drafted together, we went out to celebrate.”
I sighed, rubbing my forehead, and took a deep breath, needing to go back in time to tell the story.
“When we graduated high school, Avery came running out of the house as I picked Deacon up. I’ll never forget it. All frowns and frustrated shouts. She told us we were stupid and scoffed at our plans to party, refusing to come with us or to invite any of the other girls in her class. That’s what caused Karen Zucker to firebomb her car, but she held firm.”