Gritting her teeth, Cornelia replaced the lid and moved them aside.
“We met Mr. Burnell on the stairs and were just advising him that he mustn’t pine for you, dear, while you are incapacitated. You wouldn’t wish it, I’m sure.” Mrs. Bongorge slid onto the sofa beside the object of her speech.
“You must urge him to partake—even while you cannot. Lord Fairlea and I are both in agreement.” She gave a conspiratorial smile.
“It’s almost Christmas, after all.” Lord Fairlea gave a small cough. “Rather a shame not to have some fun. Jolly good game of charades this afternoon. Mrs. Bongorge is awfully clever.” He cast a wistful look in her direction. “The children wrote book titles on pieces of paper, all folded within a hat. Colonel Faversham pulled out Memoirs of an Old Wig, and Lady Pippsbury The Matured Enchantress. Hilarious, I tell you!”
“And, for me, the little scallywags gave The Nunnery for Coquettes.” Mrs. Bongorge gave a tinkling laugh. “Such things children think of.”
Cornelia watched as, turning in her seat, Mrs. Bongorge’s knee pressed to Burnell’s and she rested her fingers upon his arm. “We’re planning the forfeit game after dinner, which I’ve told Mr. Burnell he must play.”
“I’m rarely one for party games.” He moved away slightly, but Mrs. Bongorge leant forward. Cornelia was certain her bosom was resting against his arm.
“Ah, but this you would like.” The vile woman fluttered her eyelashes. “If we cannot tell which of your three statements is the truth, you may command any forfeit you wish.” She lowered her voice to a sensual whisper. “Even…a kiss.”
Burnell looked momentarily taken aback and cast a glance at Cornelia.
Mrs. Bongorge laughed again. “I see you look for permission from your beloved but if she is secure in your affections, there is nothing for her to fear. Besides which, there is so much mistletoe about, every gentleman in the house must be ready to oblige the ladies.”
Cornelia felt an unnerving sensation welling within her. How dare that vampish tease entice Burnell with her wiles. He’d as good as told everyone they were to be affianced and still she threw herself at him. For the purposes of their contract, he belonged to her.
In fact, he ought to have sat next to her rather than allowing that Bongorge hussy to smother him with her outrageous breasts.
“But there are many ways to find entertainment on these long winter nights, are there not, Mr. Burnell?” Mrs. Bongorge went on. “And you must have so many stories to tell. I could sit until the small hours listening. I assure you I am quite indefatigable.” The tip of her tongue flicked out to lick her lower lip. “How I should love to hear how you hardened yourself to overcome your challenges.”
Burnell’s eyebrows rose several inches. “I’m sure you’ve heard enough from me.” He looked to Cornelia, as if seeking her help, but she merely folded her arms. “Mrs. Mortmain, how is your foot this afternoon? Not aching too badly, I hope.”
“Improving daily.” Cornelia gave a tight smile.
“I know how painful a turned ankle can be. Did it myself in the early days at Palekmul, while exploring one of the underground chambers. It still gives me the odd twinge.”
“Oh, my poor dear!” proclaimed Mrs. Bongorge. “Such injuries can plague one for years, but massage can work wonders.” She looked speculatively at his booted foot, as if contemplating offering the service on the spot.
Cornelia contained the impulse to scream.
“I’m sure you were brave about it, Mr. Burnell.” Again, she smiled through gritted teeth. “It was a badge of honour among the Maya, I understand, to endure excruciating pain. I seem to recall a ritual of bloodletting from the genitals. What was it they used?” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Stingray spines wasn’t it, or obsidian blades?”
A look of horror passed over Lord Fairlea’s face and he promptly crossed his legs.
Burnell made a show of wincing and laughed. “I tip my hat to you, Mrs. Mortmain. You’re exceedingly well-read.”
“But look!” Mrs. Bongorge alighted on the pile of books on the chaise. “Here is Mrs. Mortmain’s reading material beside her. Perhaps she would let me see. We are all capable of improving ourselves, with the right tuition. Perhaps I shall learn something.”
Before Cornelia could intervene, Mrs. Bongorge picked up The Lady’s Guide to All Things Useful and turned the pages with the tips of her fingers.
“My goodness. What a strange little volume.” She wrinkled her nose. “Treatments for warts and chilblains? Surely you have no need of those remedies, Mrs. Mortmain?” She perused some more, then tilted the book towards Burnell. “Look! A chapter on how to make a man fall in love! You must read it, sir, and let us know if the advice is apt.”
She cast an exultant leer at Cornelia. “We shall be learning all your secrets, lambkin.”
Taking the book, Burnell turned a few pages, then shot Cornelia a grin. “Now here’s something more interesting. Advice on achieving satisfaction from the marital bed.” He scanned a few lines. “It says here that ‘any union without true love may result in sour and spiritless offspring’. Well, how about that. Sounds like, to ensure a healthy brood, the act should be performed with the greatest enthusiasm. I call that good advice right there.”
Lord Fairlea turned a sudden shade of pink and adjusted his cravat. “Rather near the bone, old chap. Not really a subject for discussing in front of ladies, even if it is in Mrs. Mortmain’s book.”
“Give me that!” Cornelia snatched the volume from Burnell, giving him a death-by-daggers glare.
Burnell held up his hands in surrender. “I’m judging nothing, sweet one. All brides like to prepare for what awaits them on their wedding night. It’s only right and natural.”
“So true.” Cornelia threw the book onto the chaise, making poor Minnie jump. “And you’ve no need to be anxious about your little problem.” She smiled sweetly. “There’s a whole chapter dedicated to that very thing, and several remedies that may serve in time for the nuptials.”
“Well I never!” Lord Fairlea’s mouth opened and closed several times.
Mrs. Bongorge’s expression veered from shock to dismay. She laughed nervously. “I’d no idea…that is to say, no idea you’d set a date…that the engagement was formalized.” She rose from her seat. “A spring wedding, I assume? Even when it isn’t one’s first, there’s so much to organize.”
Lord Fairlea also found his feet and, offering hasty felicitations, took Mrs. Bongorge’s arm.
Only as the door closed behind them did Cornelia realize the mess she was in.
Cornelia contemplated throwing her books at him—all of them, Desert Adventure included—but it wouldn’t change what had just happened.
“Look what you’ve done!”
“What I’ve done?” Burnell looked taken aback. “It wasn’t me who passed intimate comments on my lovemaking ability.”
“You goaded me into it! Besides which, it wasn’t me who started talking about preparing for the wedding night.”