It scared me. I didn’t say it, but more and more lately, her highs and lows reminded me of her mom’s—so much so that I’d been pushing her to see a therapist. That discussion always turned her depression into anger. Because to her, needing help meant she was like her mom.
Lily leaned in and pressed her body against mine. She shut her eyes and looked up at the streaming water as it rained down. A huge smile spread across her face, and I couldn’t have stopped the one that broke out on mine if I’d tried. That’s the thing with Lily—her smile was contagious. When she didn’t have the flu, she was so full of life and happiness, more so than the average person. The happy times always made me forget about the sad ones…until it happened all over again a few months later.
She pushed up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to mine. The water from overhead streamed down over our joined lips. It tickled, and both of us started to laugh.
“I’ve been thinking about something,” she said.
I pushed the wet hair from her face and smiled. “I’m hoping you’re thinking about bending over and hanging on to that wall behind you.”
Lily giggled. “I’m serious.”
I took her hand and slid it between us, down to my erection. “So am I. Can you tell?”
She laughed more. “I’ve been thinking about how much I love you.”
“Well, I like the sound of that. Go on.”
“And how much I love living down here with you.”
My grandfather had given me a boat a few months ago on my twenty-first birthday—the very first boat he ever built. When Mom died, Lily and I decided to move into it and live down at the marina. It wasn’t exactly a traditional home, but my girl wasn’t exactly traditional either, and it made her happy. Plus, we spent every weekend sailing and exploring new places together. Since I’d started working for my family’s company after graduating college a few months ago, we could pretty much afford to live wherever we wanted. But this boat felt right for us. And it made Lily happy, most of the time.
“I love living down here with you, too.”
“So what I was thinking was…” Lily looked down and went quiet.
I slipped two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up so our eyes met. “What’s on your mind, Lily? Talk to me.”
“I was thinking… Well…” She dropped to her knees.
Not the direction I thought she was going, but that sure as shit worked for me.
But then she looked up and took my hand and lifted from two knees to only one. My heart beat out of control,
“I love you, Grant.” She smiled. “Will you…marry me?”
I pulled her up from the floor. “Get up here. I should be the one down there, not you. I’ve actually been thinking about us a lot lately. And I would love to marry you.”
Lily smiled.
“But…” I said.
Her smile wilted.
I’d been thinking a lot about having this conversation, though I would have planned it a little better—so we weren’t having it naked in this small shower. But this was life with Lily, unpredictable and always an adventure. I’d learned to roll with the punches because of her.
I cupped her cheeks. “I want to marry you more than anything. But you’ve been getting…the flu…a lot lately. And I really want you to talk to someone, go see a doctor.”
The look on Lily’s face broke my heart. Any discussion of her needing help sliced straight through her. She abruptly turned, swung open the shower door, and ran out of the bathroom.
“Lily! Wait!” I twisted the water off and jumped out of the shower. On my second step, I hit a patch of water she’d left behind and my foot slipped out from under me. I landed on my ass. “Goddammit. Lily, wait!”
But it was too late. While I climbed up from the floor, Lily just kept running. She was already up the stairs and outside the cabin before I could even grab a towel and follow her. I emerged on the back deck, still wrapping the towel around my waist just as she jumped off the boat, buck-ass naked.
“Lily!”
She ignored me and took off down the dock. When I caught her, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. “Stop. Stop running. We need to talk.”
Just then, an older couple came out from the cabin of their boat. Their eyes grew wide. I put my hand up and spoke to them. “Sorry. We’re leaving. We were just…playing a little game, and it got out of control. Everything’s fine.”
Realizing what it might look like, that I was holding on to a naked woman who was trying to run away, I spoke to Lily. “Right, babe? Tell the nice couple everything is good.”
Lily had run out upset and angry, but her mood shifted at the calamity we found ourselves in. She started to laugh. “Naked tag,” she yelled to the gawking couple. “I guess I’m it now.”
We started to crack up. I took the towel from around my waist and wrapped it around Lily’s front to cover her up. I kept myself pressed tightly to her back so as to not fully expose myself as we turned back to our boat. I waved as we walked in tandem. “Sorry about that. You have a good day.”
Once we were back on the boat, we laughed inside the cabin for a solid five minutes. This was my Lily. My wild, beautiful, adventurous girl who one minute made me panic and the next had tears of laughter running down my face. I plopped down on the couch and pulled her onto my lap, stripping her of the towel in the process. I took her face in my hands.
“I love you, my wild girl. I want to marry you. But I do think you need to see someone.”
Lily frowned. “I’m not crazy like my mother.”
“I know that. But do it for me anyway.”
Lily thought about it, then nodded. “Fine. I’ll go see whoever you want. Get me an appointment today.”
I smiled. “I didn’t mean it had to be this minute. But I’ll look for someone. Okay?”
“Then we can get married?”
I looked deep into her eyes. “I promise. But give me a little time to do this right.”
***
Today was the seven-year anniversary of the day we’d first met. I’d bought a beautiful ring, made reservations at a fancy restaurant, and talked the owner of Lily’s favorite art gallery into opening for us privately tonight so I could propose. Everything was going perfect. It had been three weeks since Lily’s proposal, and a few days ago she’d gone to her first appointment with a therapist. Surprisingly, she’d come home and said she liked the doctor a lot. Yet even though everything was perfect, my palms were sweating like a bitch as the gallery owner slipped out so we could be alone.
“I can’t believe you did all this.”
“Anything for my girl.”
We walked around hand in hand, taking our time in front of each painting like Lily loved to do. The day I’d come into the gallery to talk to the owner, I’d walked around and looked at all of the artwork. One in particular caught my eye and solidified that I’d made the right choice to propose. Two canvases away was a piece titled Promises. It was an abstract of a woman standing at the altar. Only the back of her wedding dress showed, but the focus of the piece was all the flower petals on a white runner along the church aisle. While everything else was black and white, the flower petals were colorful and vibrant. The minute I’d seen it that day, it reminded me of Lily—she was those petals on the floor to me. I knew it was the perfect spot to propose.