But Neri wants to do other stuff when she’s not working. She’s an athletic woman with interests that don’t involve cooking or checking the perimeter. And she wants me to do some of these activities with her.
When I tell her no, she just says okay. No guilt trips or mocking of my house husband status. Nothing negative. She only smiles and goes to prepare for whatever she wants to do.
Then I imagine something bad happening to her because I was too stubborn to come along. What if she drowns while snorkeling? Or falls during horseback riding? Or a man flirts with her? I still haven’t located the asshole she was talking about at the hotel. I’m sure I’ve met him, but none of the men are dumb enough to flirt with her in front of me.
I get so wound up on what could go wrong that I always decide to join her. Just as Neri planned.
Despite all my bitching to the contrary, I don’t mind the stuff we do. I spent a decade taking care of a house in the middle of nowhere. Before then, I was surrounded by stupid rich fucks doing the kind of stupid shit that rich fucks do. My entire life has been about following the will of others. Even when I didn’t have a boss, I still went along with what I assumed I ought to be doing. It’s how I’m wired, I guess.
And now I have this sexy, patient woman holding my leash. If the worst she ever forces me to do is jet-ski, I can’t complain.
Neri and I don’t move into our house right away. Sure, I’d prefer a bedroom farther from her parents so we can make more noise. Plus, the kitchen at the other house is bigger and more high-end than the one at Jake and Mia’s place.
But I prefer waking up in the morning and walking downstairs to where Robin sleeps—and he shows no interest in the newer house. I drink coffee with Neri on the back patio with a view most people would kill for. An hour later, we’re joined by Kai, Sunny, and Ani, followed by Jake and Mia. The kid isn't scared of me in the least anymore. She’s also under the impression I’m riveted by the never-ending saga of her fucking duck.
Sunny is my sidekick in the kitchen. We don’t talk much. What’s there to say? Our pasts offer only miserable conversational topics. Mainly, we talk about food, the kid, or the dog.
Still, Sunny helps me understand why Neri would want a fucked-up man. When I first arrived here, I spent many nights imagining the burden she and Kai must feel from taking care of so many damaged people. I don’t sense either of them wants to be a martyr.
In the beginning, I figured Kai craved Sunny for the same reason that Jake chose Mia. They were weak and easy-to-control women. Except I’m not. Many days, I’m a huge asshole. Plus, Sunny cried a lot after we first arrived in Playa Cielo. What’s the prize for putting up with our shit?
Then I realize helping a miserable person smile gives me power. That’s why I find such pleasure in Sunny’s growing knowledge and confidence in the kitchen. I helped that happen. Killing is easy. Quick too. Building up a broken person takes time and effort.
When Sunny cooks dinner once a week on her own, I’m the person that helped her get to that point. I gain value by helping her find her value. I finally get why Neri doesn’t view my baby steps as a burden or why she makes such a big fucking deal out of Robin choosing to join us in the family room during a storm rather than hiding in his corner. She finds beauty in helping to un-fuck someone fucked by life. I get now why she puts up with my shit and why she loves the dog so damn much.
During Robin’s final sixteen months of life, he eats well, lounges on the beach like a tourist, and even regains the purpose he’s been missing for years—someone to guard.
Ani is a stubborn kid. Despite knowing to stay away from Robin, she keeps trying to pet him. Neri finally supervises the child and animal. Afterward, I keep catching Robin watching Ani and assume he’s considering whether to eat her. Except whenever she calls his name, he always forces his elderly ass up and comes to her. For the rest of us, he pretends to be asleep.
A few months after we arrive in Playa Cielo, he starts following Ani when she goes for walks. I know the dog’s hips are shot, but he wants to keep an eye on her. When she squeals dramatically about a crab, he growls at the threat. Though not easily amused, I enjoy Robin’s attachment to the kid. Trained as a guard dog long ago, he finally has someone to watch over.
When Robin passes away peacefully one night, Ani loses her fucking mind. Unable to understand why he’s gone, she lets out a wail that sends my balls into my belly. The kid’s sorrow makes me miss the dog more. All those years with nothing to do and no one except me to entertain him, Robin deserved more time living the good life.
“His last days were happy,” Neri says, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting my face between her tits.
“Shut up.”
Used to tolerating my shit, Neri doesn’t shove my rude ass off the bed and let me sulk alone. It’s why I love her. Despite knowing I’m an asshole, she remains gentle and offers me the comfort I don’t deserve.
We talk about getting a new adult dog but decide to put off the decision until the kid is calmer. The stress of Robin’s death already fucks with Ani’s progress in the sleeping department. Now she’s back to sharing her parents’ bed. Everyone is depressed in a way that a new animal won’t fix. While we still plan on adopting a dog eventually, life gets in the way.
More than once, Neri promises she won’t ask for a baby for at least five years. Of course, she gets pregnant two years after I arrive in Playa Cielo.
“I don’t know how it happened,” she cries while pissing on another pregnancy test. “I never missed a pill. I’m militant about my birth control.”
Standing at the doorway, I shake my head. “You failed. This isn’t me.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Well, in that case, stop crying. I forgive your failure.”
Still weepy, Neri shakes her head. “I’m not ready.”
“Neither am I.”
“Is nine months long enough to get ready?”
Her question is filled with panic while her smoky brown eyes look to me for comfort. Suddenly, I’m forced to be the sensible one.
“Sure. But if not, we’ll ditch the kid with your parents and visit it occasionally.”
Neri finally smiles. “I’m sorry.”
“I already forgave you.”
Neri’s second piss test shows the same as the first. We sit on the king-sized bed she bought me and that we’ve broken in with much vigor. I wonder if my kid was created here or possibly on the couch downstairs. Can a woman get pregnant during ocean fucks? It probably doesn’t matter, but thinking about that distracts from worrying about a child depending on me for its survival.
True, my daughter has a mother and close-knit family to cherish and protect her. I’m unnecessary for her to grow up happy and healthy. Perhaps, that’s why I find fatherhood so fucking easy.
Or maybe I’m ready to be a dad since it marks the end of Neri’s nine months of terrifying nutty twat behavior. Has anyone been as insane as she is during pregnancy?
“How about the name Bahira?” I ask as we rest in bed one night, and my fingers caress her smooth swollen belly.
Nudging my crotch with menace, she growls, “Is that the name of the Berlin vacuum whore?”
“Who?”