“We’re just friends, Aunt.” I take a carrot and munch on it. I need to keep my stomach full in case Knox takes me to dinner in a place where they don’t serve my special food.
She grins. “Sure thing, Elsie.”
“Stop it, Blair.” Uncle comes behind me and massages my shoulder. “You go and have fun, pumpkin.”
I nod, glancing back at him.
Since the pool accident, I can’t help noticing the change in Uncle’s demeanour or at least the way he looks at me. It’s like he’s torn inside and doesn’t know how to communicate it.
He releases me and heads upstairs, probably to freshen up before they’re out again.
“I’m going to change,” I tell Aunt and she beams at me.
I take the steps two at a time so I can follow Uncle. I freeze at the top of the stairs when I find him standing in front of my room.
He’s clutching his briefcase with the jacket on top. His shoulders are drooped and he gazes at my room with utter sorrow as if he’s about to cry.
My own eyes fill with tears at the sight.
What is it, Uncle? What is it that you’re not telling me?
He shakes his head and continues to his room.
“Uncle...”
He stops and turns around with a smile plastered on his face. The smile falls when he meets my gaze. A tear must’ve fallen on my cheeks because I taste salt.
I don’t even know why I called him or why I’m crying, I just know that I need something.
Uncle lets the briefcase and the jacket fall to the ground and hurries towards me.
“What is it, pumpkin? Are you okay?”
I nod, but more tears fall on my cheeks and my lips wouldn’t stop trembling. I don’t want to worry him.
What the hell is wrong with me and these tears coming out of nowhere?
“I’m sorry.” I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand. “I don’t know where these tears are coming from.”
“It’s okay. Come here, pumpkin.” He wraps his arms around me and I’m a goner.
A complete utter goner.
I couldn’t stop the tears even if I wanted to.
My nails dig into his shirt and I inhale his aftershave with the scent of cinnamon and citrus.
A scent from my childhood.
It’s like I’m that little girl again. That seven-year-old girl who slept in Uncle’s embrace for weeks because I couldn’t fight off the nightmares.
Back then, Aunt would sleep on a chair because I didn’t want her with us. I couldn’t sleep if she touched me.
“It’s okay,” he soothes, caressing my back. “I’m here for you, pumpkin. No matter what happens, you know that I love you, right? You’re the only child I ever had and ever will.”
I nod in his chest, gripping his shirt tighter.
“What’s going on?”
At Aunt’s voice, I break away from Uncle wiping my eyes, but I keep my back to her.
Damn it.
I don’t want Aunt to see me this way either.
“Elsa was just having a bit of exam stress, right, pumpkin?”
I nod, not turning around.
“Go on and change.” Uncle smiles down at me. “Your friend will be waiting.”
I run to my room.
“Elsa,” Aunt calls, her footsteps sounding behind me. “What’s going on?”
“Let her go, Blair.”
I’m glad Uncle stops her as I go into my room. I barge into the bathroom and wash the itch beneath my hands. That stupid itch that wants to break free.
After freshening up, I change into simple skinny jeans and a tank top.
It’s going to be okay.
I think.
My phone vibrates.
My heart flips at the thought that it’s Aiden. I need him so much right now. I wish he’d just text me something.
Anything.
If he tells me it’s okay to have a life and my own decisions, I’ll cancel with Knox.
I’ll go to him instead.
Knox isn’t the one I want to see right now. It’s strange that when I’m a mess and need comfort, Aiden is the first one who comes to mind.
The text is from Knox, telling me he’ll be here in a few minutes.
Disappointment tugs at my stomach.
Of course, Aiden wouldn’t forfeit. It’s always his way or the highway.
Screw him.
I turn off my phone.
After pulling my hair into a ponytail, I exit my room. I’m about to go downstairs when I hear hushed yells coming from Aunt and Uncle’s bedroom.
The door is closed, but I do something I never did before.
I tiptoe closer. No sound comes out. Was I always able to move this silently?
I glue my ear to the door and listen in on their conversation.
“Enough is enough, Blair!” Uncle hisses. “Can’t you see that she’s stressed?”
“She’ll get better with Dr Khan,” Aunt replies with that air of confidence.
“She can’t get better from a disease she doesn’t know about. You can pretend all you want, but she’s remembering, Blair. She’s smart to know those recurring nightmares mean something.”
“She’s not remembering,” there’s a note of panic in Aunt’s voice.
“Even if she isn’t, she will soon. Or those people will come for her.”
People? What people?
“She’ll choose us.” Aunt’s tone hardens. “Elsa will choose us.”
“Even if she does, you can’t pretend that all of this is okay just to protect yourself.”
“Protect myself?” I can almost imagine Aunt scoffing. “I did everything to protect her. I don’t want her to go back to that phase of her life, I wanted her to start anew. I thought you wanted that for her, too.”
“I do, but as Dr Khan said, she can never really move on if she hasn’t dealt with the trauma.”
“She’s dealt with it by forgetting all about it.”
“She was a seven-year-old child, Blair! That was her only defence mechanism. It doesn’t mean she dealt with it. She didn’t know how to deal with it at that age.”
“And you think she does now?”
“She needs to know.” His voice softens and my heart breaks. “Are you blind to the lost look and the tears in her eyes? Are you blind to her screams after the nightmares? Because it cuts me over every time.”
“She’ll be fine. She will.”
“Fuck this, Blair!” He yells. “I won’t let her suffer just so you won’t feel guilty.”
“Keep your voice down,” she whisper-yells.
I glue myself further into the door, my heart almost beating out of my chest.
“I’m done, Blair. Okay? I’m done keeping her in the dark just because you don’t want her to hate you. If you don’t tell her, I will.”
“You don’t know the whole story.”
“I’ll tell her what I know.”
“Shut up, Jaxon.”
“I won’t shut up. You need to face that you abandoned her and her mother when they needed you the most.”
“I did not and you know that.”
“You ran away and never looked back. Elsa lost her mother and family because of it.”
My knees shake and I can’t remain standing. No other sounds come out, and I quietly leave from their door.