"Of course not. That is silly."
"Yes, it is. As silly as a little girl growing up and believing that she is responsible for her grandfather's death."
"But I could have gotten help."
"And maybe it would have made a difference. If help had gotten there fast enough, if the immediate damage was not too severe. If they had been able to stabilize him, if they had been able to get him to the hospital in time. If his heart did not stop during all of this. Savannah, there is no way to know if anything you might have done would have made any difference at all. Now, your grandmother might know more; she might know details that would answer that question. But you must talk to her to find out. It has not helped anyone for you to keep this all to yourself for all these years."
Laurel said gently, "Henri is right, love. No one in the world can feel guilt like children can. And it is so often not justified. You need to set your heart free."
Savannah felt a tiny stab of hope. It took her breath away to think about the possibility that she had been wrong all this time. The thought of talking to her Gran about it still overwhelmed her, but for the first time, she felt that she really should try to do it. She took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes. Laurel took her hand and led her to a lovely little powder room. She took out a fresh, fluffy hand towel and washcloth and a little basket that contained hairbrushes and combs.
"Here you go, darling. If you need anything else to freshen up, just help yourself, please." Laurel gave her another hug and then some privacy.
A few minutes later, Savannah emerged, looking like herself again. Henri had poured more champagne and was munching on bread and cheese. Savannah sipped champagne and tried the cheeses, which were all locally made.
"Savannah, would you like to see my stables?" Henri asked. "They are my pride and joy."
"Yes! I would. Ben was teaching me to ride before I left Indiana."
"Ben must be your cowboy, eh? Ben is a good, strong name. He'll need to be strong to handle a woman like you." Henri's eyes were dancing.
Laurel laughed and said, "You two go along. I am going to make some soup."
Henri gave her a kiss and a swat on the bottom before he took the champagne bottle from the bucket and led Savannah out the back door and down the path to the barn. They talked and laughed and finished the champagne, drinking straight from the bottle. Henri showed off his horses and the two little ponies that he planned to start his children's lessons with.
Savannah laughed. "Henri, don't you think you should have had the children first and then shopped for the ponies?"
"Oh, but they were so beautiful and gentle, I couldn't resist them. They are young, so it will work out perfectly. You know, when you get back to Indiana, you will have to find a horse of your own."
"You think so, huh? Do you have any more of my life planned out?"
Henri smiled and winked at her. "You have a smile in your eyes when you speak of your cowboy. This is the way to happiness in your life. I recognize it because I travelled down the same kind of path not so long ago. You will find your way. You, my love, deserve to have a happy life full of love and laughter."
Savannah had to smile back at him. "I have truly missed you, my friend."
"And I you. But now you have a path to travel."
"You make it sound so easy."
"No, not easy. But worth every step. You can do it, darling. And then you will have a life full of love."
"Maybe you're right. I'll have to think seriously about it," Savannah said.
He frowned at her. "Darling, Henri is always right. You deserve that happy, loving life. And a few children would be good as well."
"Okay, now you're getting way too far ahead of me!" Both of them were laughing.
Laurel and Henri walked out to the car when Savannah left. The driver opened the door and then waited unobtrusively while they said their goodbyes.
Savannah took Laurel's hands. "I am so glad I got the chance to meet you, Laurel. You have made my friend so happy."
They exchanged hugs and kisses and Laurel said, "He has made me happy as well. We were meant to be."
Henri swept Savannah into his arms and kissed her right on the lips, making his wife laugh. "It was wonderful to see you, darling."
"It was. And you be sure to let me know when the baby comes. I'm so happy for you all."
"You can prove it by going back and taking care of your own happiness."
"I'll try. I promise."
Henri shook a finger at her. "Don't let me down. I'll have to come find you and set you straight."
She was laughing again when she slipped into the car, waving at her friends as she left.
Chapter 19
Three days later, Savannah was still in Paris. She had packed and unpacked so many times that she had lost count. She had turned down the project and given Daisy a list of recommendations for making her event a success. After Daisy had gotten over her particularly spectacular temper tantrum, they had parted with hugs and good wishes. Savannah had picked up the phone at least a dozen times to request that the concierge get her travel arrangements made. Each time, she hesitated, panicked, and then put the phone down. She had called her grandmother twice and assured her that she would soon have matters wrapped up and a firm decision made.
On the fourth day, her phone rang and she answered it with a smile, seeing that it was Henri calling.
"Darling, why are you still in Paris?" her friend demanded.
"I-I just have things to arrange, plans to make," Savannah hedged.
"You are being silly again. What things?"
"Well, for one, I have a roomful of things that need to be packed up and sent to the States. I have gifts to take back, of course."
"Then call the concierge and have him send someone to take care of that for you. Problem solved. And what else has to be done?"
"I need to make travel arrangements. I had to meet with Daisy, and she required a little babying to get over her disappointment."
"But that is done, yes?"
"Yes, but Henri, it's not that simple—"
"Of course, it is. I never thought you were such a coward, Savannah. And I certainly never thought that you were such a selfless person that you would just throw away your own happiness. When have you ever given up something that you really wanted?"
Now Savannah was getting mad. "When have you ever been so determined to keep your nose stuck in my business?"
"When I see you behaving like such a foolish child. I told you I would come find you and set you straight if you didn't take care of this, did I not?" Henri said.
"Don't be ridiculous. This is my life; it has nothing to do with you. I'm a grown woman, and I can take care of my own problems."
"Then stop acting like a sulking child and take care of your problems. I think you are making problems where none exist. I think you need someone to set you straight."
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"I think what you need is to have your bottom warmed and then have a good, long tumble between the sheets. It would do wonders for your attitude," Henri said with a wink she couldn't see.