"It does—" I started again before something seemed to click, a certain chain of events, meddling on the part of someone who never played a random matchmaker. Except maybe it wasn't so random. Maybe she knew. And instead of putting a stop to it, she fucked with us. Fucked with me. Since I was the only one in the dark. "Oh," I said, scoffing.
"Rush, wait, hey," Fee started, sensing me putting all the pieces together.
"Don't," I said, shaking my head, feeling very much a fool, very much played. "Fuck this," I said, turning, slamming my hand into the door, and bursting out onto the street.
I don't know if either of them followed. My blood was whizzing through my ears, making hearing anything else all but impossible as I made my way toward my car, hopping in, peeling off.
I wasn't, by nature, a reckless driver. I was a good one, a precision driver who could make a getaway like very few in the business. But, as a whole, I hung that up when we went legit years back.
There was nothing careful or civilian about the way I peeled through Navesink Bank, seeking an open road, some room to think, to let my thoughts spread far and wide.
Maybe then, I could make some sense of them.
But after three hours on the road, I was no closer to understanding what was going on, why it was going on, than I had been when I left.
Most of the anger burned off, though, there was a strange mix of betrayal and relief in me.
Neither made sense.
But that didn't change shit.
Unsure where else to turn, I made my way toward King's office, knowing he was always a voice of reason for us when we couldn't—or wouldn't—be rational about a situation without his input.
When I walked in, I found him sitting off the front of the reception desk, looking very much like the sounding board I needed right then.
He gave me a nod. "I was warned I might be seeing you. Figured it would be sooner than this. You're lucky I am always working late. What's going on? Fee said she fucked up. And since we all know Fee doesn't like admitting she fucked up, it must be big."
King was, for all intents and purposes, a father figure to all of us. Not having our father, then losing our mother young, he was who we had. To provide for us. In financial ways, but also in emotional ones. Older, wiser, he was forever putting out our fires, cooling our rage, calming our anxieties.
He had enough on his plate.
But that didn't stop me from piling on.
"Fee has known that my regular caller is a coworker at the office for a while. And instead of putting an end to it, she tricked us both into thinking we were going on a work retreat, and then trapped us there together."
"Really? Fee?" King asked, face scrunching up. "That's not like her."
"I know," I agreed. "And yet, here we are."
"Did something happen with you? And the office girl?"
"That's not the point."
To that, he let out a laugh. "Oh, Rush. Sometimes it is," he said, raking a hand down his face.
"People shouldn't fuck with your life."
"Man, we are linked with the Mallick family. Someone is always going to be fucking with our lives. But we love them. And we know that, underneath all the shit, they have our best intentions at heart. You're not mad that she got involved. You're pissed because you feel stupid."
"They fucked me over."
"Did they?" he reasoned. "I mean, Fee was wrong. She knows it. She will apologize for it. You know that. But what did the girl do? Did she plot with Fiona to trap you at the cabin to have her way with you?" he asked, rolling his eyes.
"No. It's not like that. She's... she's shy and quiet and no, she wouldn't do that."
"So, what is she guilty of, really?"
"She knew it was me. And I didn't know it was her. That's fucked up."
"Or, like you said, she was shy and quiet. And she was lonely. And she needed to reach out. And you were a safe, familiar person. But she was embarrassed for someone she knew in person to know how lonely and desperate she was."
"That's..."
"The more fair way of thinking about it?" Kingston supplied. "Yeah, I know. You were always one to rush to conclusions. To rush into everything. Mom named you well. It's fine when you're young and stupid and you can use young and stupid as an excuse. But you're not a kid anymore, Rush. You gotta think shit out before you react to it."
See?
Total dad-advice with him.
It was rarely what I wanted to hear.
But it was always what I needed to.
"Did you already confront her?" he asked, reading my reaction on my face. "Shit," he said, sighing.
"It wasn't wrong to be angry."
"Maybe not," he relented. "But what did you accomplish? Make a shy and insecure girl feel even worse about herself? Was that really the best move you could have made?"
No.
It wasn't.
And he was right.
I was getting to know Katie well enough to know she was not going to take this easy, take my anger well.
Fuck.
"Go home," King suggested. "Think it over. I'm sure Scotti can throw together a nice bouquet for you to give her as an apology."
I wanted to ask how he knew I was going to come to the conclusion that I needed to apologize. But we both knew that answer.
Because he'd raised me to admit when I was wrong, to try to make amends.
"She was wrong too," I insisted, just because I wasn't done fucking moping about it, apparently.
"Maybe," he agreed, nodding. "But that sounds like something you should be talking about with her, not me."
"Speaking of you," I said, looking around the office, seeing the pile of paperwork sitting next to him on the desk. "You need help around here?"
"For fuck's sake, Rush. Deal with your problems, don't run away from them."
"It's not that. Fee and I had a conversation earlier about how slow my line has been lately. It's been a good run, but I think it is coming to an end. Sooner or later. Just wanted to know if you needed help, or if I should be putting feelers out somewhere else."
"This stack," King said, putting his hand down on the pile at his side, "are all pending cases and clients. I'm drowning. You wanna dip your toes in, or dive, I can use all the help I can get. Just say when."
"I'll start working here on my days off," I offered. "Then we will go from there when Fee decides to close my part of the business down."
"Sounds good. Oh, but one more thing, Rush," he called as I turned to walk away, making me turn back.
"Yeah?"
"Don't use work to avoid your problems," he told me, giving me a knowing smile. "Oh, and did Fee call Mark yet?" he asked, making me let out a grumble.
"There is nothing to call Mark over," I insisted, feeling like a broken record.
"Sure, sure," King said, shrugging, reaching for his stack of folders as he looked at me. "I can't decide if I want to do the conservative or risky route," he mused. "Oh, who am I kidding, you've never taken your time on anything. On a rush to be born, to grow up, to get from here to there, I'm putting my money on weeks, not months."