Home > Restored (Enlightenment #5)(48)

Restored (Enlightenment #5)(48)
Author: Joanna Chambers

Kit looked away. “You already know about that.”

“Not really,” Henry said. “I know you took up with Skelton, and that he hurt you.”

Kit leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “I’m not sure I see the point of this, Henry.”

“Is it true that, after what happened with us, some people thought you’d done something untrustworthy?”

Kit’s head jerked up. “Who told you that?”

“Is it true?” Henry asked again.

Kit stared at him for several long moments, then he sighed. “Some people assumed you’d thrown me over early because of something I’d done. And then, when I wouldn’t let Mabel come after you, that just seemed to convince them more. Mabel and I argued over it—I told you about how I was determined to pay her off. The trouble was, I couldn’t get a new protector after you left. So when Skelton made me an offer, I accepted. It was stupid, but it was only meant to be for six months. I didn't realise he would be so violent.”

The sudden rage that surged in Henry at hearing that shocked him. He was not a man who was quick to anger, but the thought of Lionel Skelton laying violent hands on Kit was unbearable. “You stayed the six months?”

Kit shook his head. “Three and a half. The violence began after a few weeks, but it was only when I said I was going to leave that he really hurt me.”

“What happened?” Henry asked faintly.

“I’d said something he didn’t like—he hit me and I decided I’d had enough. I told him I was leaving, and he said I was his till the end of our contract, and if I tried to go, he’d kill me. We struggled, but he was a lot bigger than me. He ended up beating me badly and leaving me locked inside the house while he went out to meet his friends. If I’d still been there when he returned, I suspect he’d have finished me off. Thankfully, he didn’t think to lock the kitchen door, and I managed to escape.”

“Where did you go?”

“To Mabel. We hadn’t spoken for a while, but when she saw the state of me she took me back in. She sorted everything out with Skelton. Then she found me a new contract.”

“Another contract for her to profit from?” Henry said bitterly.

Kit raised his brows. “What else was she to do for me? She was the madam of a brothel—it was all she knew. As it was, she pressed my case quite hard with Phin to persuade him to take me. I don’t think he really wanted another boy at that point.”

“This was Phineas Warren?”

Kit glanced at him sharply.

“How do you know that?”

Henry shrugged. “People talk.”

Kit sighed and nodded. “That they do.”

“What was he like? Warren, I mean.”

“He was… very kind to me, actually. He had some rather eccentric ideas, but he was not a demanding man—hell, he wasn’t actually capable of much in the bedchamber by then—but he kept me for several years and gave me a very handsome pay-off at the end, including the property where Redford’s is located. It was his generosity that enabled me to finally get off the game.”

Henry was hit by a hot bolt of shame so intense it stole his breath. Why had it never occurred to him that that might be something Kit would want? Had he really wanted to believe so badly that the man could desire nothing more than to be at Henry’s beck and call?

“Henry?”

He looked up to find Kit watching him with a curious expression.

“Is something wrong?” Kit asked and Henry shook his head mutely, unable to find words.

Kit was silent a moment, then he asked quietly, “Henry, why did you come here today?”

Henry gave a helpless, humourless laugh. “I don’t really know.” He pressed at the spot between his eyebrows where his headache always gathered. “I was walking in the park and thinking about the things—the feelings—that have risen up in me since I saw you again… I decided that I wanted—that is, I needed to say—” He broke off, staring down at his hands. Was it right to speak these words aloud? None of this probably mattered to Kit. Not anymore.

“Yes?” Kit prompted.

Henry took a deep breath and tried to begin again, more calmly.

“The last time I saw you, I told you that I had cared for you when we were together.”

Kit said nothing, only watched him, a faint frown between his brows.

“But that wasn’t the whole truth,” Henry said. “I was being careful with my words. Miserly, in fact. But today I realised that I had to be honest with you. Truly honest. Because you deserve to know the whole truth of the past. I wasn’t just fond of you, Kit. I loved you.”

Kit stared at him, seeming genuinely shocked. “Henry—” he began, only to cut himself off and stare at Henry in silence.

Henry smiled sadly, “Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to reciprocate. I realise that, given what happened after I left, any fondness you ever had for me was probably killed stone dead. But I just… wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know—to really understand—how much you meant to me, and that leaving you was truly the hardest thing I ever did. You deserve to know that, Kit.”

Kit looked anguished. “Henry,” he said again. He shook his head and looked away, staring out of the window. After a long pause he said, “I wish I’d known.”

Henry felt oddly breathless. “Why?”

Kit turned back to meet his gaze. “Because I loved you, and when you left, it felt like I’d meant nothing to you. Perhaps if I’d known…” He trailed off, his expression agonised.

“You loved me?” Henry whispered in disbelief.

Kit nodded, his eyes shadowed with old grief. “I did. I thought it was pathetically obvious.”

“It wasn’t obvious to me,” Henry said. “Sometimes I wondered, but then we’d part and I’d tell myself I was just another client to you, nobody special.”

Kit gave a harsh laugh. “Christ, Henry. You were probably the most interesting man I’d ever met—you talked to me about things that no one else had before, like I was just as worthy of having opinions as anyone else. And you were affectionate and sweet to me in ways I’d never experienced. Not just in bed, though of course, I loved everything we did in bed—I never had to pretend anything with you.”

Henry stared at him, astonished.

“The real question,” Kit continued, “is why you loved me—a common prostitute with nothing to commend him but a pretty face.”

“Nothing but a pretty face?” Henry repeated incredulously. He got out his chair and went to his knees before Kit. “Oh, you were very beautiful, Kit—you still are—but you were so much more than your appearance.” He took hold of Kit’s right hand in his own and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You were kind and decent and sweet-natured.” He swallowed hard. “You still are all of those things. These last weeks, you could have put me through the mill—you know I’d have let you do it—but instead you’ve shown me nothing but kindness and understanding.”

Kit’s eyes swam with sudden tears. “You credit me with too much,” he said. “I can assure you, I have entertained plenty of unkind thoughts.”

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