“What does that mean?”
I touched my jaw. “Seriously?”
“What? What am I missing?”
“They think we fool around, okay? That’s why they leave when you show up.”
Amelia gasped and stepped back. “Fool around… as in…”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“You told them that?”
“In a way, yeah,” I said. “So they’d leave us alone. Leave you alone. You don’t want to know them. Or this kind of life. I know you like to walk around in the middle of the night. I get why you do it too. I’m not going to tell you what to do. But… I have to protect you.”
“By lying?”
“For your own good.”
“So they think we… you know… and that means they won’t bother me?”
“That means if they bother you, I’ll beat the shit out of them.”
“Oh.”
There was silence for a few seconds.
I hated to have to tell her that.
I slowly put my left hand out.
Amelia looked at my hand, then at me.
“Listen,” I whispered. “What I tell them and what I think aren’t the same. Okay? You’re pretty, Amelia. I mean that. You are really pretty. But I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“I believe you,” Amelia said.
She reached out and put her hand into mine.
I closed my fingers around her hand and we both smiled at the same time.
This was the only time things felt right.
“What are you doing with those rocks?” she asked.
I looked down at the various piles and hurried to kick them, sending some scattering up the sidewalk and others out into the road.
“Nothing.”
“That’s a lie. You shouldn’t lie to me, Josh. That hurts me.”
I sighed. “You’re throwing that at me now?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Tell you what… tell me why you’re out here. Then we can talk about the rocks.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“See? It’s not that easy, is it?”
“Shut up,” she said.
She pulled the long sleeves of her shirt over her hands and hugged herself. She did so under her small breasts. My eyes never meant to look at her in any other way than a protective friend, but with what we had just been talking about… plus Murph’s fucking comment…
I gritted my teeth.
“I had to get out of there for a minute,” Amelia finally said. “That’s all.”
“But why?”
“You know why.”
“I want to hear you say it though. Tell me what happened.”
“I guess tonight was a good night.”
“Good enough that you’re out here?” I asked.
“Shut up,” she spat at me again. “He punched the wall, okay? Like a hundred times.”
“The wall?”
“The dining room wall. There were so many holes in it… and there was so much dust… for a second I thought the house was on fire.”
“Damn,” I said. “I’m sorry, Amelia.”
“Me too.”
I stepped toward her. “You shouldn’t have to go through that.”
“I have no choice. I’m too young to do anything about it. I’m not as old as you.”
“I’m not old enough,” I said. “I’ve still got time until I can finally do something.”
“This sucks,” she said.
“Yes. It does.”
I reached for her. My hands gently touched her arms as I worked my way into a hug. She didn’t move her arms though, so it was like we were both hugging her. She smelled like mango and dust.
“It’ll be over soon,” I whispered.
“I hate hearing that,” she said. “How much damage will be done by then?”
That was a hard question. Because time never stopped. And neither did anyone who was under the spell of time.
“It’s your turn,” she said.
She wiggled to get me away from her.
“Turn for what?” I asked.
“The rocks?”
“Oh,” I said. “That. It was nothing. We were going to throw rocks at that house. Break all the windows.”
“Why?”
“Because we felt like it,” I said. “That’s why I keep warning you to not come near this part of town. Or us. Or me.”
“You’re obsessed with that house, Josh.”
“I am?”
“You’re always doing something to it,” she said.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. That house means something to you.”
“Okay. Fine. What if it does?”
“I wish you would tell me about it.”
I reached for Amelia again. This time I touched her cheek. I liked the way her skin felt against mine. I liked the way I felt when I touched her.
“I promise, Amelia, someday I will tell you everything.”
Chapter 21
Should Have Known Better
NOW
(Amelia)
I agreed to meet with Bel and hand off my version of the story.
Josh had gotten too close to me and I needed to make it right. Which was finish what I started. Write the story for Bel. Keep it simple and to the point. It was about his artwork and nothing else.
The kiss had long washed off my lips.
I told myself I had forgotten the taste of him.
As far as the memory went… I was good at hiding memories.
So nothing mattered.
Of course when I handed Bel the printed story, she laughed.
“What?” I asked as we sat at the window inside Joey’s Roast.
“You printed it and brought it to me. That’s adorable.”
“Huh?”
“Email, Amelia. Just email me the story.”
“Oh. Right. I thought you wanted… I mean, why are we meeting if you wanted me to email it?”
“To talk about your other story.”
“My other story?”
“Well, you had this one. About Josh. But I don’t think it’s got the punch you wanted. Right?”
“I mean… I wrote about his artwork. That’s it. Josh as a person? I don’t have a story there. And even if I did… I mean…”
“I get it,” Bel said. “Which is why I’m interested in the letter.”
“Oh. That.”
“You were really excited about it,” she said. “You seemed eager to just jump at anything for it.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve built things up in my head…”
“You’re a writer. That’s what you do.”
“Not like this. Some romantic dreams just aren’t meant to be.”
Bel clapped her hands. “Write about that then. Do you have the letter with you? Can I see it?”
“No,” I said without hesitation. “I mean, I don’t have the letter.”