“I told you to stop worrying about me.”
He opened the door. “Oh, before I forget, my wedding…”
“What about it?”
“This is a big deal.”
“I can see that. You’re finally going to get laid again.”
Aaron shook his head. “I need you there.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world,” I said.
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
Aaron went inside and I stood in the garage alone.
The main doors were open, so I stepped out into the driveway.
This was my chance.
To leave.
For once and for good.
To just slip away into the night and never be seen again.
Kind of like what my father did.
Everyone would hate me, but they’d forget about me.
It had been weeks since I’d seen, touched and tasted Amelia. Yet I couldn’t forget about her.
Inside the house, Aaron and Rae were living in their moment. Their moment. Their house. Their family. Their future.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and it was a text message from Amelia.
It made my heart ache because she tried so hard to keep in touch with me.
Eventually I would just need to tell her to stay away. Or I could change my number.
I opened the text message, willing to do more damage to my heart.
There was no text.
Just a picture.
Of a positive pregnancy test.
Chapter 43
Being Right is Being Wrong
NOW
(Amelia)
The first thing I felt like doing was calling Mitch to tell him I was right. That I knew my own body and that I knew I wasn’t actually sick when I would vomit at work. And whoever termed it as morning sickness needed a slap against the side of their head. Because this was called random sickness.
The positive pregnancy test was balanced on the bathroom sink and I was thinking about my boss at work. Not the man who was the other half of this situation.
My hands gently touched the smooth, coolness of the sink and I forced myself to lift my head and gaze upon my reflection in the mirror. When the tears filled my eyes, I was also filled with an intense feeling of guilt. That instead of feeling happiness in the first moments of knowing about my baby, I was crying.
Crying because I didn’t want this baby to grow up with just one parent. I didn’t want to be a single mother. Crying because I didn’t know what Josh’s reaction would be, if anything at all. He had grown up in his own version of hell, never having a father. I had no idea whether that kind of thing was hereditary or just stuck in someone’s soul and they would make the same bad choices.
And it didn’t help that Josh wouldn’t return my calls.
I hadn’t heard his voice in twenty-nine days.
And yes, I counted. I stood at the cat calendar on the fridge and fucking counted. It was pathetic but it helped to pass the time as I waited for the pregnancy test to give me an answer.
And even if Josh did step up and be the father he should be for our baby, what would that look like? He loved someone else. He loved someone else so dearly that he was willing to just forget about me. Like he did once before. Like he wanted to do now.
“Amelia? Are you okay in there?”
Grace’s voice was muffled through the bathroom door.
I reached for the knob and twisted it.
She saw my face and knew before she looked at the test.
Then it was quiet.
Really quiet.
“You can say something,” I finally said.
“I’m waiting for you to go first,” Grace said.
“For what?”
“Whether to hug you and cheer or console you and cry.”
“Can we do both?”
Grace threw her arms around me. I bumped into the pregnancy test and it slid off the sink and into the trash can.
For some reason, that was the final straw.
I burst into tears.
I paced the living room of the apartment and switched between nibbling on my thumb and on the corner of my cell phone.
Calling Josh was useless. Texting him was the same. So I sent a picture. Of the positive pregnancy test.
It was the only thing I could think of doing.
His response?
Be right over
And nothing else.
Grace asked if she wanted me to have her stay or go.
I told her to leave.
I waited as long as I could before I opened the front door. I leaned out and looked at the door to the steps.
Right on cue, Miss Laura opened her door.
“Amelia!” she said in a happy voice. “How are you?”
“Oh, I don’t have the-”
“Let me tell you about my day,” she said.
I cringed.
“I really can’t…”
“Cable went out today,” she said. “Did you know that? Well, I bet you didn’t. Because I called them right up. I told those people they’d better get their act together. There’s an entire building here of people who…”
The door was ripped open from the stairs and Josh appeared.
He looked like a mess.
It wasn’t even eight at night and he had the look of someone stumbling home at three in the morning with a broken heart.
He was scruffy and his hair was as messy as ever. His clothes were cleaner than I expected.
“Oh, look at this,” Miss Laura said. “My boyfriend has come home. Why don’t you-”
“You’re pregnant?” Josh called out.
I gasped.
Miss Laura gasped too. She touched her chest and covered her mouth.
My cheeks flushed as I nodded. “I’m pregnant, Josh.”
“Oh, my dear,” Miss Laura said. “I think I’m going to go back inside.”
Josh didn’t break his stare from me as he stepped toward me. “Pregnant…”
“Pregnant,” I whispered. “Josh…”
Without warning, he reached for me.
For my stomach.
His strong hand touched against my still flat belly.
I jumped back but grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand to my stomach again.
We just stared at each other.
Just like before.
The night of his gallery showing when I had turned up. Years since I had last seen him, but the same feeling. And now it was just days. Twenty-nine days. But it felt like twenty-nine years. But the feeling was the same.
My eyes filled with tears again, waiting for him to do something.
Josh lowered his head down until his forehead touched mine.
He shut his eyes.
“Amelia…”
“You love her,” I said. “Delilah. You still love her. Don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” Josh said. “But you need-”
“Then you need to tell me everything about her. About the letter. I need to know how to live my life as the mother of your child.”
Josh stepped back. “That’s what you want to be?”
“That’s what I am, Josh,” I said. “We’re forever connected now.”
He laughed. “We’ve always been connected.”
“Then tell me. Everything. Please…”